Metformin and me

Ahhh! This metformin is really getting to me!

I'm sorry if I sound like a broken record, but I need to vent. I was a little nauseous this morning (it's technically Thursday morning right now, but I'm referring to Wednesday here), but was okay this afternoon. So I ate some low-carb pasta salad I made (lately, nearly-plain pasta is one of the only things that appeals to me) and took a pill. I actually felt good for a while and even ate some more pasta a couple hours later. Then, about four hours after taking the met the nausea set in. I'm starting to notice a trend - I feel sick 3-4 hours after each dose. Anyways, it got better but by then I had entered my no-food zone of 8:30 to 11:30. At midnight, I started to feel very ill and actually thought I was going to pass out, so I laid down (yes, I made my poor husband, who is recovering from surgery, get off the couch for me. It was that bad). At this point, I was due for another dose (just what I wanted!), so I forced myself to eat some toast and took the pill. Oh - and I've had horrible heart burn off and on all day.

So that's what my day looked like. I'm not sure if the fact that I'm eating very little is adding to my problem, or if it's that when I do eat I'm eating mainly carbs. I read somewhere that I should have some protein to help with the nausea, but I can't bring myself to make anything. My husband hasn't had much of an appetite either, but he's getting better each day so tomorrow I might try to make a balanced meal.

If this lasts another week or two, I might call my doctor and see if there's anything I can do, like switching to extended release. Right now I'm just grateful to God that I feel like I can handle this (even though it probably doesn't seem that way from this blog!). And even though we're not getting along too well at the moment, I'm still holding out hope that I will grow to love metformin once it is responsible for my first pregnancy!

Home from the hospital

Well my husband's surgery went very well. Thanks for all your prayers! He stayed overnight in the hospital (the reclining chair I slept in was surprisingly comfortable!) and we went home this afternoon. He didn't react well to the anesthesia and/or morphine last night, but his stomach is much better today. He has back pain from the surgery of course, but his leg, which was where his pain was the last few weeks, is already much better, which hopefully means the nerve will bounce back.

He told me he's afraid I'll post on here that he's acting like a big baby, but honestly he's being really good. Of course, he has to live up to the standard I set after my surgeries because I wasn't a baby at all. And that's saying a lot because I'm likely to act like a baby for no apparent reason on a typical day. Anyway, he's going to be out of work for two weeks, so we'll get to spend a lot of time together. Maybe if he's bored I'll get him to do a guest post on this blog!

As for my current status, which is far less important but still the main purpose of this blog, I am in the midst of full-blown Metformin nausea. Food is not only not appetizing, it is my enemy. And not for the usual reason that we have a love-hate relationship. No, I hate food now because I have to eat it and I don't want to. Not a problem I've ever experienced before, that's for sure. I now eat only under two circumstances: 1) When I have to take one of my two pills which must be taken with food (or I'll become even more nauseous, I suppose) or 2) when my nausea suddenly turns to immense hunger, like I haven't eaten in a week (which happens twice a day lately).

I just feel like there has got to be something I can do. Are there foods to stay away from (other than lettuce)? Are there foods I should be eating (I'm obviously on my diet, which should be met-friendly)? Should I not take the met at the same time as my prolactin medication (both need to be taken twice a day with food and eating four times sounds awful to me right now)? I've googled the heck out of it, but never come up with much useful information. I'm still hoping that the symptoms will subside once my body is use to the medicine. It's been five days so far.

The sick feeling is manageable if it increases my chances of conceiving. I'll go through much worse if it means getting pregnant. It definitely won't cause me to decrease the dose because this apparently is my only chance. I do get nervous, though, when I think that I might have to be on this medication indefinitely, for my overall health. If it comes to that (after I've had several children, of course), hopefully taking a low dose, combined with diet, will be enough.

Okay, enough about me. I feel bad complaining when my husband's in his current condition.

How quickly things change

After my post yesterday, my mood seems to have gone down hill. Here's a brief synopsis of what has taken place:

* I spotted a HUGE bug (like half a foot long! definitely at least three inches) in my kitchen and I lost it. I had a panic attack, mainly because I was home alone and my husband wasn't there to kill it, and he wasn't due home from work for another hour. So after screaming in horror for a while, I think I sufficiently scared it and it ran off behind our cabinets. That meant it was lost and could turn up at any moment, so I retreated to the bedroom and placed a towel underneath the door (yes, I really did, something I learned when the house was infested with bees). I called my mom, crying probably a little too hard, and I'm pretty sure she officially thinks I have a serious mental problem. She's probably scheduling an intervention as we speak. Luckily, I decided today that it wasn't practical to only live in the bedroom (and it's not like bugs can't find me there anyways) and I have nervously been in the living room. I avoided the kitchen until about 30 minutes ago, though, when I got up the nerve to clean everything it might have touched.

* I now officially know what everyone is talking about when it comes to Metformin. Thanks to the bug, I didn't make dinner and so we got subs. These subs are entirely G.I.-friendly, though. They're tiny, on whole wheat rolls and I get nothing on it except turkey, lettuce, tomato and I put on low-fat mayo at home. Well, apparently it didn't agree with Metformin, because I woke up very sick at 4 a.m. Today I feel like I'm getting over a stomach bug or kind of like I'm hung over. From what I've read, it could have been from the lettuce. I'll stay clear of that for now, that's for sure. I'm still taking it before the meal with milk and all of that, but if anyone has any other advice, let me know. I just hope that if this is how I'll feel on the increased dose, that it goes away after a week or so of taking it, but I know for many it does not. Not taking it, or reducing the dose, is not an option.

* I know this might sound silly, but the other day I stubbed my toe. I stubbed it so bad that the nail almost came off and it hasn't stopped seeping since. I haven't wanted to complain about this because it just seemed so dumb in light of my husband's impending BACK SURGERY, you know? Today, though, I reinjured it by placing a laundry basket on top of it. Basically anything touching it reinjures it.

So that's what my past 24 hours looks like. Combine these instances with crazy hormones, and you get a crying mess.

Don't get me wrong, I know I don't have it bad. And in an effort to balance this post out, I'm including a quote from a story on 60 Minutes tonight about Darfur. This is what a doctor at a refugee camp had to say about the situation there:

"This is bad. They go to the villages and they burn one village after another. Then when the people come out they catch the women and they gang-bang, they rape them, not one guy, no, ten, fifteen and then they carve up the men and throw them in the drinking water to make sure this place will never, ever be used again. And you're telling me the people in America don't know this or don't want to know this? Maybe it's too much to know, but that's what's happening right now and it's happening all over again. I'm sorry to say I'm gonna sit here in two years time and I'm gonna tell you the same sad story and people will say (words in German), which is German for "I didn't know."

He really said it all there. It's horror beyond our comprehension. And his remarks at the end brought to mind the Holocaust, you know? We think we would have done something had we lived during that time, but it's going on today in parts of the world and we do nothing. But what can we do? Donating money and spreading the word just seems silly in the grand scheme of things. I guess we can pray though. It also makes me so sad to see all the orphaned children who are dying. I'll take all of them home! I would fill my house with them if we were allowed. So my stubbed toe seems ridiculous in light of this, and my infertility even seems dwarfed. I guess it's good to remind ourselves of that once in a while.

Still feeling out of it

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers. We are still hoping for a miracle. And God is good, so hopefully good can come from every negative situation.

***

So it's been about five days now that I've been feeling really out of it (sorry, can I complain any more about this?). I'm definitely blaming the met at this point, but it's just not what I expected. I was afraid of feeling nauseous, or having some kind of g.i. upset. Instead, I feel faint and shaky, have abdominal pains, and while I don't have a stomach ache, little food is appetizing to me. I also had muscle cramps in my leg and arm yesterday.

I will gladly go through this - or much worse - for a pregnancy. I'm not complaining about it as much as I am just wondering what it is.

So here's my little self-diagnosis for today: Due to a slight aversion to food lately, coupled with not having a lot of groceries in the house, I am eating far less than normal. This has perhaps led to my blood sugar being too low, hence the shaky feeling, and possible even the muscle cramps (that can happen when you're not eating enough, right?). I am also probably not drinking enough water, which can also add to the symptoms. Anyway, this could be very wrong, medically speaking, but I don't have any better ideas. Unless, maybe these are just normal side effects of the met. Anyway, I'll try to eat more throughout the day today (not a statement I have probably ever typed) to see if it helps, but right now we just finished our daily walk and I don't have enough energy to get up and get food. (And as a side-note, in typical "me" fashion, I momentarily thought I had a potential fatal side-effect of met. It wasn't completely out of the blue, because symptoms include sore muscles, abdominal pain and lightheadedness. Okay, as I type that I am still wondering if I do have it! My mother, though, told me it sounds like I have medical student syndrome. I prefer to call it heavily-medicated-and-nearly-four-years-in infertility patient syndrome.)

I am also having good mucus and today will hopefully be the fifth fertile day so far. My temp is still down, and actually dropped a little more today so hopefully it's getting ready for a nice, big spike. I am also down another couple pounds, to 18 pounds total. My husband is still going strong, too, and today he made the cutest observation. As he was getting ready for work he commented about how great it is that his pants are never tight anymore and that "this is totally worth not eating potato chips." That is huge for my husband! He LOVES himself some potato chips.

In a completely unrelated topic, here's my moral question for the day: Is it wrong to not answer the door when someone knocks on it? A group of people were just going door to door probably selling something and when they got to mine, I acted like I wasn't here. And then another person in the group knocked five minutes later, and, again, I pretended like I wasn't here. Part of me feels like this is sinful, that I am lying. The main reason I did it is because I feel like I'm always hearing stories on the news about people knocking on doors and then forcing themselves into the house and robbing the person. I am home alone and I just don't feel comfortable answering the door. But is that a good enough reason? Do I need to confess it? On one hand, you could say it's no different than letting a call go to your voicemail, right?

Alright, that's it for now. I'm off to write a reference letter for a friend's adoption. They're adopting a baby from Ethiopia, which is something I'd totally be interested in if it didn't involve flying to Ethiopia. My husband, meanwhile, thinks that's a reason to do it.

Ask and you shall receive

So yesterday I realized that my medication that lowers my prolactin is about to run out. I need it refilled, but since I have unofficially switched from working with PPVI to my local doctor, I didn't want to call PPVI for the prescription. It immediately occured to me that it would be a perfect excuse opportunity to call my doctor and ask about my metformin dose!

So this is how the call went yesterday:

Me (after first asking my "cover" question): While I've got you on the phone, I mean, this isn't a big deal or anything, but I was just wondering about my metformin dosage. I'm on the lowest dose and my next appointment isn't for four months, so does the doctor plan on having me raise it at some point? I mean, it's not a big deal if he doesn't. I'm fine on the low dose. I was just curious.

As if the nurse was writing all that down. This was probably the message:

Patient wants to know if she should increase her metformin dose at some point.

It's just that I'm very afraid of sounding pushy. I never want the doctor to think that I think I know more than him, so I was very hesitant to even ask. But... the nurse called back this morning and said I am supposed to raise my dose to 1000 mg (500 mg 2x a day) in three weeks. So now I'm glad I called! He definitely didn't tell me that at my appointment, and perhaps didn't consider it until he got my message. He almost didn't even put me on the medication, since he thinks I might be able to correct it with diet alone.

I am still reacting just fine to the met, and I hope the increased dose doesn't affect me negatively either. I know that some people are fine on 500 mg and then have side-effects when the dose increases, but I am going to assume I'll be okay.

In the meantime, I've decided I really need to start praying more. I always say that, but nothing really ever changes. I've considered a nightly Rosary, novenas, a daily Divine Mercy Chaplet. I also know that saying formal prayers isn't the only way to go, so I'm also trying to find a way to encorporate some silent prayer time into my day. Going to adoration is a good way to do that and my church has it once a week, which I currently don't attend (yes, believe it or not I am ashamed to admit I don't go weekly. The girl doing a documentary on adoration hasn't gone in quite some time). Right now all I am doing is talking to God a few times a day and I know that isn't enough. I'm leaning towards a nightly Rosary with my husband and adoration once a week, with the occasional novena thrown in. Anyone have any advice for what to pray or what's worked for them?

So far, so good

Well I took my first dose of metformin this morning. Nothing to really report yet, except in just the last half hour or so I've felt like my stomach is a little off and my head hurts a bit. But that might just be me looking for it. Just in case, though, I'm going to lay down for a while and take it easy. I think my dose is pretty low, though, so I have a feeling I'll be okay.

In the good news department, we have found the perfect place for our movie premiere. It's at a really classy art museum in the city we used to live in (and the city that the movie is set in). They have a theater that seats the perfect number - not too big and not too small - and it is (surprisingly) affordable. So we're excited!

In other good news, I am all set to go to a water park in about a week and a half. Did I mention we're going to a water park? It's something I haven't done since I was a kid (mainly because we didn't live in a part of the country where they existed), but it's always been something I've absolutely loved. So as I've been trying to find fun things to do to get my mind off of infertility, this came up. I haven't wanted to do it in years mainly due to not wanting to wear a bathing suit. Well, I still don't want to wear a bathing suit, but since I feel so much better about myself I have at least found a solution. This might sound weird, but I found men's swim trunks at J Cr.ew that, when worn in a smaller size, don't appear to be men's swim trunks (hopefully), and I'm going to wear them with a tankini on top. I figured that even if I was skinny, I wouldn't want to parade around in bathing suit bottoms anyway! I'll have to post a picture of myself in my "bathing suit" at some point!

Right now I'm watching my hubby on t.v. He isn't normally on at this hour, but he's filling in for someone. He's wearing a new suit that he bought on Monday, which looks really good! I'm so proud of him for dropping so much weight, too. It has made it SO much easier that he is dieting right along with me.

Sorry for the boring post, but I figured after a couple heavy ones, I needed to lighten up!

A very supportive day

Well we had a very successful infertility support group meeting today. It's just so nice to be able to talk about this infertility crap with others, isn't it? I mean, I wish it was something we never needed to talk about because we were all having babies, but since this is my life for the time being, I enjoy talking about it.

I feel like I spent the whole day talking about infertility, now that I think about it. I spent tonight discussing it with two other women. I was just telling my husband that I think I currently know more people in our new city with infertility than without. Isn't that weird? We were wondering whether there are just a ton of people dealing with this or if we just keep meeting the ones who are. I think it's a little of both.

One of the women tonight also has PCOS and is having a rough time with Metformin. She is nauseous a lot, but did say it tends to happen after she eats something she's not supposed to, like carbs or sugar. Has anyone out there had any experience with this drug? Good or bad? I'm probably going to have to go on it in a couple weeks and I know this might shock you, but I HATE being nauseous. I know, I'm weird.

So for a cycle update - I am on cycle day 24, I have had dry days since my peak day seven days ago, and my temps started to go down yesterday. While it was at 98.6 just two days ago, yesterday it dropped to 98.3 and today it was at 98.0 (and I'm not trying to make excuses here, but I may have had a fever on the high temp days). I also started having a pretty sore chest yesterday and it continued today (on that subject - I'm confused..is that a good sign or a bad one? I feel like I've seen bloggers refer to both). Right now my main concern is starting my new cycle in time for my bloating to be gone by my next doctor's appointment. The scale awaits me and I need all the help I can get.

Update - This morning (Sunday) my temp was back up to 98.4. Again, not making excuses, but I did wake up earlier than normal yesterday when I took the low temp. (And, as a side note, I am not trying to prove that I am pregnant here, just that my body is acting more normally). 

Cycle update

I'm procrastinating. I'm supposed to be working on my new website, but instead I am about to post all the minute details of my current cycle for you. I know... just what you've been waiting for.

Below is my basal body temperature chart to date. According to my chart, my peak-day was on day 17. As a side-note, because I sometimes have excess mucus, my Creighton instructor sometimes will have me identify my peak day as the last day that I see the most clear peak-type mucus (I don't chart it any differently.. day 17 would still be charted as peak.. but I just keep it in mind). That day was day 15. Anways, click on my chart to make it larger.

Now that my prolactin is normal, my diet is hopefully helping my PCOS and my endometriosis is gone, I hope that I may one day ovulate. Unfortunately, I didn't chart my bbt in past months, so I have nothing to compare the chart above to. As I know all too well from positive OPKs, it can appear that you are ovulating even when you are not. If I had been charting throughout the last year and my temps had been all over the place, then this chart would be more encouraging.

So today is cycle day 22. I had seven days of peak-type mucus followed by four dry days. That's definitely more "normal" than what I've experienced in the past and normal is good! The only thing abnormal about this cycle so far is that I had nine days of red stickers, the first two and last two of which were brown spotting. Plus all that pain mid-cycle.

Today I started my new, higher dose of T3. I'm now up to 22.5 which is the highest they'll have you go. Let me just say that I CANNOT WAIT to stop this medication. Just a few short months ago I wasn't on any medication and couldn't wait be on something, anything. I swore I wouldn't complain about it. Well, I've tried to be good about it, but this T3 just completely interferes with my life. I can't eat for six hours a day. I take my temperature four times a day, my pulse three times a day. I have to take my folder that holds my thermometer and temperature chart with me everywhere. It never leaves my side. Not to mention my husband hates that I have to take it. Ever since my new doctor said he thinks I'm part of the study simply because they need people (he doesn't think it's hurting me and may in fact help me, but he doesn't think I'm really a candidate), my husband has been against it. He hates that it rules my life and that we have to pay $40 a month for the drugs. Oh and there's the fact that none of my "symptoms" have changes whatsoever. I don't feel any differently since starting it. I really hope that my new doctor takes me off of it at my appointment in two weeks.

Well I'm now off to work. Feel free to let me know if you think I might have ovulated according to my bbt chart (or if you think I didn't. I can take it). By the way, my friends' baby was born last night and they are picking him up tomorrow! Thank you for your prayers thus far and if you get a chance, please pray for the birthmother.

Welcome to Virginia!

I'm a procrastinator. I've lived in in my current state now for nine months (yes, I know..I could have grown another human being in that time.. if it weren't for my bum ovaries), yet it took me until today to get my license. I am now officially a resident of the commonwealth of Virginia:


Never mind the taxes I pay, the property I own or the fact that I've already voted. I am now a Virginian. And as the DMV worker told me today, I'll really enjoy my first winter next year (if he only knew). It's kind of exciting because it's the first out-of-state license I've ever had (and by 'out-of-state' I guess I'm speaking from the perspective of still considering myself a New Yorker). And no, they didn't forget to put my name and address on it, I just photoshopped out all identifying information so you can't steal my identity (just kidding).

The other good news today is that I've lost 13 pounds! Today marks five weeks since starting the diet and so it was also my weekly weigh-in. While I had hoped to be up to 15, I know I can't be greedy. I've gone down a size and I am comfortably fitting in clothes I haven't worn in over three years. Good thing I held on to them! My husband, who is on the diet with me, has also lost 13 pounds. I can't believe it's been five whole weeks! As I told my sister the other day (who, incidentally, started the diet yesterday), if I knew it would be this easy, I would have started it ages ago!

Well, my exhaustion continues, despite my diet and despite taking T3 now for a month. Moving at all has been difficult the last few days. What is that about? Could it be related to PCOS? Whatever it is, it's getting worse. I also had more brown mucus today (a question for all you Creighton people - if I have brown mucus and clear mucus in the same day, both lubricative and an inch or more, how do I chart it? Does one override the other?). I need to start a list of questions to ask my doctor. Speaking of my doctor, only twenty more days to go until my next appointment. I can't wait!

New cycle, new medication

I got my period this morning. So I had six days of spotting! That's a new record for me.

I also began my new thyroid study medication, since I had to start on day one. It's quite an undertaking, because I have to take it every twelve hours to the minute, and cannot eat for two hours before or one hour after. So I'll take it again at 10:30 tonight, 10:30 tomorrow morning, 10:30 tomorrow night, etc., etc. I was nervous picking a time this morning because I knew it was such a commitment! If I picked 10:30, then that would be the time I'd be locked into for as long as I take it! And that might sound like a safe time, but we eat dinner anywhere between 11:15-midnight (yes, I know that's weird but my husband works nights and I like to wait for him). So I think I'll be okay, since I'll be able to eat at 11:30. But I just know that for six hours a day (before and after my medication) I will be absolutely starving! It's just like on Fridays in Lent when I don't eat between meals, I am hungry ALL DAY!

I really can't wait for Monday. I'm so excited. My appointment is at 1:30 p.m., and then afterwards we're going into D.C. to eat. And it will be St. Gianna's feast day! I have to admit that last summer when I visited her shrine, I had the thought that maybe I'd become pregnant, or find out I was pregnant, on her feast day (and that seemed so far away at the time!). Well, that wasn't to be. But... now I at least have an appointment with a new doctor on that very day. God is good, despite me trying to tell Him my plans. His will be much better.

Ovulation complete (let's hope!)

I just took another ovulation test, and this time it was negative. So I had one positive test this month. As far as I know, that is pretty normal! It was negative three days ago, positive yesterday, and negative today. I've had great mucus for over a week. So hopefully I ovulated!

I read online last night that my medication can take a few months to work, to start lowering prolactin levels. That's good to know, if it's true. It didn't bother me, either. I was just glad to read that, so I don't get my hopes up too much before that. Actually, it relaxes me a little to know that there's no pressure for a little while. If it happens, it happens. But if it doesn't, well, I haven't even really begun working on correcting my hormones.

Can I also just say that I am so touched by all the comments and encouragement I've been getting from you all? I've been meaning to post about this for a while. I am constantly moved to tears by comments, not to mention posts on all of your own blogs as well. The thought that someone is praying for me, especially when you are dealing with this too, just touches me. This blog has been such a blessing to me because it has done nothing but boost my spirits, give me an outlet to vent, provide me with much-needed hope, and put me in touch with wonderful women who know exactly what this feels like. Not too long after I moved last fall, I remember praying for someone to be able to talk to about all of this, other than my husband. I had a couple good friends up north, but while we are still close, I don't really talk to them about this through email since we moved. So I really needed someone to fill that void. It was about a month later that I started this blog, and a month or so after I began I realized this was God's answer to my prayers. (Not to mention two women here asked me to start an infertility support group with them...that was an answer to that prayer as well!) It's just amazing how God works - when it is something that is part of your plan and beneficial to your immortal soul, He works fast and delivers big!

CD 17 (updated, since I can't count)

Well my new medication is still knocking me out. I have been beyond tired for the last three days. The good news is I somehow managed to clean out our apartment yesterday with my husband and didn't pass out. So finally what I've been dreading for weeks is over and tomorrow we have our walk-through with a staff member who we hope won't charge us hundreds of dollars for perceived damage, and then we'll be officially living in one place.

Today is cycle day 17 and I've had about three days of peak-type mucus so I took an ovulation test. It was negative, which wasn't really a surprise since it's only been three days of mucus. I've been really frustrated lately though. It's been 42 months since we've been trying. I have no idea how many cycles, since mine tend to be very long, but it's got to be in the high 30's. Three-and-a-half years. I'm just so tired of it all. When I begin to think how the fact that this has gone on so long means my chances are only getting lower day by day, I remember that I didn't start real treatment of any kind until last summer with my first laparoscopy. Everything before PPVI was a waste of time. At least the time that has passed is over with. Those are three-and-a-half years I never have to live over again, and I wouldn't want to. I just hope I don't have to live another three-and-a-half years of this. But then again, I'd go through many years of this if it ends with a pregnancy. It's the fear that this might go on for years and years and result in no babies that is at the heart of all of my frustration, anger, fear, depression, etc., etc.

I'm getting deja vu as I write this. I probably already wrote the exact same thing in another post, so I won't blabber on and on any more. Maybe it's the medication.

Since I've been posting photos lately, I'll end with a picture of two of my babies, Sophie and Carmie. And don't let it fool you - they hate each other.



Update - Well, it's actually CD 18, but who's counting?! And to follow up to Lifehope's comment, I would be very surprised if I'm at the end of my peak days because I usually have ten or more (that was pre-surgery...post-surgery I've had a much more "normal" 8-10 days, but still, I'm only at about five). I'm pretty sure I'm in the middle of my fertile days and will have a positive ovulation test in a couple days. Not that anyone cares, but since I have it in front of me, here are some more details: I had peak-type mucus on day 11, day 14, day 16, day 17, and day 18 so far. I usually have like ten days of peak-type mucus, and even though I skipped a day there on day 15, it was probably because I didn't follow PPVI protocol, like looking for it the right ways and at the end of the day and all of that. The fact that I skipped some day between days 11 and 14 worries me, because it could be my ovaries trying to kick start (like they used to when I didn't ovulate), but then again that usually happened at the end of my cycle. I'd have peak days on and off for over two weeks. So this isn't a big deal. I'm actually pretty hopeful, as hopeful as I get (which isn't much).

Fainting spells and house pictures

Well I started my medication yesterday - 2.5 mg of bromocriptine (parlodel) a day. I was worried about the side effects going into it, because I had heard certain forms of it are no longer available because of serious side effects. But I realized treating my elevated prolactin level could be the missing link to all of this, or at least one of the missing links, so of course there was never any doubt I'd take it.

So this morning we're in church and I'm kneeling during the Eucharistic prayer, when all of a sudden I felt really lightheaded. I shook it off and thought to myself, "that was funny, for a minute there I felt like I was going to faint!" But a second later I realized that the feeling wasn't gone, it was actually getting progressively worse.. fast. So I managed to whisper to my husband that I didn't feel well. I kept on kneeling, not sure what to do, but when my eyesight started to go I knew what was coming next. Twice before I have fainted (or nearly fainted; I never lost consciousness) and the last thing that always happens is I can no longer see because everything has turned to green. So when this started to happen I started saying a Hail Mary, but by "blessed art thou" I told my husband I needed to get out of there and I took off towards the back. I went outside and as soon as the air hit my face I felt better. I felt weak but other than that the feeling was gone. Thank God! After a minute of sitting outside, we went back in and I even received communion. So as soon as I got home I looked at the print-out that came with the medication and it actually said dizziness and fainting can occur when starting it! I figured it would say something about dizziness, but I didn't think it would be that specific! It warns you not to drive for a couple days and that some people even fall asleep without any warning. And these aren't rare, contact-your-doctor side effects. These were the common ones. I guess I should have read them yesterday! So today I'm taking it easy and probably won't drive until I feel normal again.

Well I am finally done with my living room, kitchen, office and bedroom (only one guest room left to go) so I thought I'd post some pictures. I already feel better having (most of) the boxes unpacked and we're getting back to normal. Now we just have to clean the apartment tomorrow and (most of) the move will be behind us!

Here's the "before" of our living room:



And the "after":



The "before" of our kitchen, or at least the eat-in area:



And the big reveal (note the curtains I made all by myself!):



Next, our bedroom and a close-up of more curtains I made (well, I actually got some help from Target. They started out as an $18 single panel I cut in two. They're kind of like the sewing version of that "Semi-homemade" show on the Food Network!)





And last but not least, the office isn't anything we spent too much time on, but I'm including a picture because it's the would-be nursery. Hopefully one day these newly-painted red walls will be painted over with a more baby-friendly shade!

Cycle review

The medical evaluation phase of my infertilty treatment has officially begun. Yesterday I had my first cycle review with PPVI, which was complicated because of my lack of progesterone and estradiol levels (due to no bloodwork). The nurse who I talked to on the phone was super nice and felt really bad about my problem with labs around here, so that made me feel a little better, although she offered no additional help on that front. She also reiterated what I already figured was good news - that I had a normal mucus phase this past cycle. After having Dr. Keefe review the information, she called me back and had some instructions for me. She said I need to start taking prenatal vitamins (which I've been told a million times but never take) and they are going to put me on something called parlodel for my high prolactin. I'm happy to start taking something (I feel like I'm the only one not on anything at all!) but I'm nervous because it has severe side effects like heart attack and stroke. I know lots of things do, but my aunt (a maternity nurse) told me they stopped giving the drug to new mothers (who don't want to breast feed) because of the risks. I know I shouldn't be nervous, but I'm good at it.

I feel very positive about starting this new phase. There is still so much left to try (not to mention if my problems were corrected with surgery then it's as if we've only been trying to conceive for one cycle now. That'd be like getting pregnant on the honeymoon!). But I really believe my hormones are part of my infertility puzzle and now I'm one step closer to righting what's wrong.

So we have almost finished painting our entire house. We are doing every room with the exception of one bedroom and the laundry room. It's definitely helping to keep my mind off of things. I can't wait to move in!