A great day

The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind of emotions for me.

To start things off, this time last night my husband was just getting home from work and we were starting to watch one of our guilty pleasures, Big Brother. Well, let's just say things didn't go the way I wanted them to during the episode and I actually cried. Yes, actual, real tears. I think I might have said something like, "Why can't things ever go my way?"

Not my proudest moment. But I share this with you just in case you might sometimes get the very wrong impression from my posts that I am more in touch with God than I actually am. I think this example speaks for itself on that issue.

That being said, I do blame some of my behavior on hormones. I have to, right? Who cries during Big Brother, other than when a house guest gets a call from home, or a letter from their kid? And even then, you'd have to be REALLY into the show and maybe PMSing. If it's not hormones, than I am truly a crazy person.

Anyways, we went to bed a while later and let's suffice it to say that it was one of those nights when, according to my chart, certain behavior was required. That pressure can sometimes lead to a fight, and in this case it did. A long one. I think I fell asleep sometime after four a.m.

About six hours later, I was awoken by my screaming husband. Like, at the top of his lungs screaming. If I remember correctly, I think he was saying, "He picked her! He picked Palin!" At first I thought he was going to say he picked Eric Can.tor. That's our local congressman, a friend of ours works for him, and Ry.an might have been able to follow him on the campaign trail if he was chosen. But when I heard "Palin" I was in utter shock. I heart Sarah Palin.

I think I was giddy all day long. I was just on cloud nine. I mean, she walked out to the theme from Rudy, people! Her 5-month-old baby boy with Downs Syndrome, who she is still breast feeding, was in the arms of her oldest daughter. I cried. I still get chills when I watch it on Youtube.

Okay, so today's political news put both of us in great moods, although both of us were extremely tired from our lack of sleep. While my husband had to go in to work for a couple hours, I got to nap. When I woke up, we headed off to do some shopping and to go out to dinner (the day just kept on getting better!). My plan was to go into J.Cr.ew just to see what size I am this week. No, I might not be able to eat fried food, but I go down sizes as quick as I use to put back a plate of chicken tenders. (Sorry. That's just me trying to convince myself. I want bad food REALLY bad right now.)

So I tried on a size that would have been a crazy dream size just a few months ago. Now it is officially my size. I tried on several pants and capris in that size, and all fit. To put this in context, you have to understand that I've spent years in denial about my true size. Trips to the fitting room would go something like this: Find clothes in size smaller than I really am, because I don't want to admit my real size. Hold up clothes and think "I'm not that big, am I?" Take clothes into the dressing room. Try clothes on and can't pull them up. Get upset. Leave store in bad mood. Curse all clothing stores, myself and skinny people.

Back to the shopping.. I then tried on a pair of capris in a size bigger than my current size because they didn't have my size, and they're big but comfy and on a major sale so I bought them ($18 isn't bad!). I then tried on a pair in the same style a size down from my current size and decided to buy those too. So I now own a pair of capris in a super-bizarro-beyond-crazy dream size. (A thought just came to me - this is one way infertility has truly blessed me. I would NEVER have lost nearly thirty pounds if it wasn't because of this. Well, maybe that was a little obvious, now that I think about it.)

So I left the store extremely excited and we went to a great restaurant and had a great meal. Then we came home and watched the Mets game we had DVR'ed. Um, amazing! With two outs in the ninth, they came back from behind with a grand slam and won. And the Phillies lost! First place by two games!!

Well, that's my day in a nutshell. And what a great one it was! When I was wallowing in self-pity early this morning and telling my husband he doesn't care about me, I didn't have high hopes for the day ahead. But life is full of surprises!

The big interview

As promised, here is my husband's story about Ob.ama from yesterday. This isn't the entire interview. I might be able to post a link to that later on, but it's not up anywhere yet.

A miscellaneous update

Not much to report except some good news - I am hopefully officially over my met sickness, thanks be to God! It appears, for the time being at least, that the metformin-related nausea was just my body getting used to the new medication. It lasted six days. Since Thursday I have felt fine. AND I've even eaten salad at a restaurant twice and haven't been too diligent about taking the pill with milk. And I still have felt fine. I am super appreciative of this and do not take it for granted, believe me! (Now let's just hope that tomorrow's post doesn't begin with "Well, I spoke to soon...")

As for my cycle, today is day nine. Things are looking fairly normal so far, and hopefully they'll stay that way (or improve of course) over the next three to eight months (which is how long the met is supposed to take to kick in). I've decided that I'm going to wait this out as patiently as possible. I should be glad that there is no immediate pressure for the medication to work. I don't have to begin to worry until next year, and even then I hope that I'll have grown enough spiritually to where worry is no longer in my vocabulary (now that's a goal). It's slowly starting to sink in that God is really, really good and that he does have plans for us. And I don't mean that in a line-that-I-just-feed-myself sort of way. I don't know when my miracle will come, or how it will be delivered, or if it's even what I'm imagining (knowing God, probably not), but something is in the works.

My husband is doing much better today. We even went out to eat tonight (and let's just say I carbo-loaded on some dark wheat bread at a certain chain restaurant with an Austrialian theme. I actually lost all control and my poor husband was reduced to putting the remaining bread IN HIS DRINKING GLASS so as to "ruin" it for me [he was trying to do me a favor since he figured I'd regret it later]. But because a little water never hurt anyone, I managed to grab some of what was left. Hey, at least it was wheat!) and don't tell anyone but he had a beer even though he's on steroids and pain pills (my mom, a nurse, gave him the official okay). He deserved it after all he's gone through. And he really is handling everything so well, despite the craziness that the medications are causing his system. I will say that I am thoroughly enjoying him being home with me, especially now that he's getting back to his normal self (not that I didn't also love and appreciate the "sick" him as well). Hopefully he won't get sick of me!

Home from the hospital

Well my husband's surgery went very well. Thanks for all your prayers! He stayed overnight in the hospital (the reclining chair I slept in was surprisingly comfortable!) and we went home this afternoon. He didn't react well to the anesthesia and/or morphine last night, but his stomach is much better today. He has back pain from the surgery of course, but his leg, which was where his pain was the last few weeks, is already much better, which hopefully means the nerve will bounce back.

He told me he's afraid I'll post on here that he's acting like a big baby, but honestly he's being really good. Of course, he has to live up to the standard I set after my surgeries because I wasn't a baby at all. And that's saying a lot because I'm likely to act like a baby for no apparent reason on a typical day. Anyway, he's going to be out of work for two weeks, so we'll get to spend a lot of time together. Maybe if he's bored I'll get him to do a guest post on this blog!

As for my current status, which is far less important but still the main purpose of this blog, I am in the midst of full-blown Metformin nausea. Food is not only not appetizing, it is my enemy. And not for the usual reason that we have a love-hate relationship. No, I hate food now because I have to eat it and I don't want to. Not a problem I've ever experienced before, that's for sure. I now eat only under two circumstances: 1) When I have to take one of my two pills which must be taken with food (or I'll become even more nauseous, I suppose) or 2) when my nausea suddenly turns to immense hunger, like I haven't eaten in a week (which happens twice a day lately).

I just feel like there has got to be something I can do. Are there foods to stay away from (other than lettuce)? Are there foods I should be eating (I'm obviously on my diet, which should be met-friendly)? Should I not take the met at the same time as my prolactin medication (both need to be taken twice a day with food and eating four times sounds awful to me right now)? I've googled the heck out of it, but never come up with much useful information. I'm still hoping that the symptoms will subside once my body is use to the medicine. It's been five days so far.

The sick feeling is manageable if it increases my chances of conceiving. I'll go through much worse if it means getting pregnant. It definitely won't cause me to decrease the dose because this apparently is my only chance. I do get nervous, though, when I think that I might have to be on this medication indefinitely, for my overall health. If it comes to that (after I've had several children, of course), hopefully taking a low dose, combined with diet, will be enough.

Okay, enough about me. I feel bad complaining when my husband's in his current condition.

Surgery, dancing, and even a cycle update

Thank you all for your prayers for my husband. We found out today that he does have to have surgery on his back, which he'll have this coming Monday. He has a herniated disc and a fragment broke off and is pinching a nerve. If it was just painful, the surgeon said he might try treating it with physical therapy, but because my husband's leg is showing signs of weakness, it becomes a much more urgent matter.

The surgery is apparently pretty easy, as far as back surgeries go. It should only take like 20-30 minutes and he'll stay in the hospital overnight. He will have to be out of work for two weeks, which he was kind of nervous about at first. God has already taken care of that for us, though, and he'll be able to go on short-term disability without losing all of his vacation days (not having any vacation time for half of the year is tough when your family's eight hours away). We are still a little worried about money and paying for our portion of the surgery expenses. We paid off our credit cards last year and even managed to pay off expenses for both of my surgeries without going into debt, so we hope we'll be able to do the same this time. We don't know exactly how that will happen yet, but we're trusting God (something I'm great at when it doesn't involve my own infertility).

Turning to a completely different topic - did you see tonight's episode of So You Think You Can Dance? You know it's a good episode when I have to save it on my DVR indefinitely (it's right there with the Saturday Night Live episode featuring the Mahmoud Ahmadinejad digital short. Had we not moved last year to a new state and a new cable provider, the 2006 American Idol finale would be there as well). Let me just say, it started out strong when they announced Comfort was back, and it only got better when I found out she was paired with Twitch! Then to top it all off, they got hip-hop! Seems unfair, but it works for me! Okay, so they're hip-hop dance was A-MAZING! Or "buck" as Lil C likes to say. It's my favorite hip-hop routine this season, if ever. And then Will and Katee's second routine - I'm speechless!

Okay, sorry if you don't watch the show but I provided links to get you all caught up. Do yourself a favor. And while you're at it, watch this one too.

On the infertility front (do I have to? yes, this is an infertility blog).. I had some spotting last night (Tuesday) but none so far today (1:45 a.m. is still Wed. to me, so you'll just have to keep up with the day references). My temp dropped this morning to 98.2, so this cycle will probably come to an end in the next two days. It's weird that I can predict that now! Definitely not something I am use to.

Okay, time to go to bed.

*Update: So I just saw something very out of the ordinary for me - peak-type mucus (or what appears to be peak-type mucus) on cd 29. And I'm talking 8KL. I know I shouldn't over analyze, but I'm just curious what that could mean about my hormones. My temperature has been dropping for two days now (which I assume has to do with progesterone dropping. And, by the way, do normal cycles see a sudden temp drop? My dr. said one of my problems is that my prog. drops too gradually, so I should probably hope that eventually my temp drops more suddenly, right?) and my period is expected tomorrow, so what would cause peak-type mucus at this point? I've read that some women get this before their period, but I never have. I wish I could just be permanently hooked up to some portable monitor that is constantly reading-out all of my hormone levels. Yes, I would wear one.