I am home, but I just haven't been in the mood for writing much lately. I'm still decompressing from last week, I think. I am on cycle day seven and will take my last dose of Tamoxifen this evening. Today I had some peak-type mucus, which I found interesting. It was 8 C/K L, or stretchy, cloudy-clear and lubricative. I'm taking it as a good sign that perhaps the B6 is working this time around and I will have a normal amount of mucus throughout the next week. And I'm really praying I ovulate before day 22, like last time. Last cycle was a couple steps backwards.
I haven't taken my temperature yet this cycle and I may or may not continue like this. I just feel a little tired of it all. Not in a giving-up sort of way, but just in a I-am-too-lazy-to-worry-about-it-this-month way. I'm just mentally tired and need a break. And, interestingly enough, letting go of some of the worry can only help my chances.
With that being said, I do have one thing I have been worrying about. I am perplexed as to how Jeremiah 29:11's doctor decided her progesterone level was indicative of a need for prometrium, while my doctor decided my progesterone - the exact same progesterone level as Jeremiah 29:11, mind you - was "excellent." And we go to the same practice! I just don't know what to think. Is there a differing of opinion among doctors on what is low? But to the point that he'd call mine "excellent"? I guess it doesn't really matter. I have decided to wait until I get my peak +7 results from this cycle, and then, if the progesterone is roughly the same, I will ask questions.
The other possibility is that I had the blood work done too late this cycle. I knew my Creighton peak day probably wasn't anywhere near the day of my ovulation. And that is especially evident now because if the day I had my blood drawn truly was peak +7, then my luteal phase was only nine days. But my luteal phase has never been that short; it is always 11 or 12 days. But, if my practitioner was correct to assume my peak day was actually two days earlier, that would mean my luteal phase was 11 days and (are you following this?) that my peak +7 draw was actually a peak +9 draw. So, that being said, is that better or worse news that my progesterone was 8.21 on peak +9? Obviously we know now that I wasn't pregnant at the time, so if we assume it had been higher and had dropped by the day of the draw (two days before my cycle ended), is that too early for it to start dropping?
Sorry if that is confusing. The fact that it is so hard to explain means I need to stop thinking about all of this. Who cares, right? It is up to God if and when I conceive. It is a waste of time for me to pretend I have anything to do with it. I know, I can take care of my health, lose weight and take my medication, but worrying about test results isn't going to change them. Worrying only hurts my chances.
Right now I am stalking the agency's website to see when our picture and birth parent letter go up. Ahhh...adoption is a post for another time. I'm still conflicted and I'm worried it isn't going to change anything. It's great that I have been able to separate the two (adoption and infertility) in my mind, but I am realizing that they are two separate things and adoption isn't going to solve the pains of infertility. But, like I said, that's a post for another time.
Now I need to go watch lots of great television (Big Love, Syracuse basketball, American Idol and Lost) with my husband. What a perfect night!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Cycle news
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SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK!
ReplyDeleteIt makes complete sense and yes I would be freaking out. Are progesterone levels even across the board? Or do different scenarious change the level? Thorn got prego with a .05 progesterone level????
I hope someone has answers for you to give you a piece of mind.
Enjoy hubby!
I think adoption will be a huge blessing, not that you don't think it will be. I believe your hesitations will be resolved about the adoption. I understand your trepidition.
I just have to let you know that adoption did take away the pain of infertility...at least for me. It didn't during the process, and really I still felt the pain a bit after adopting our 4 year old (she was three when we adopted her), but our baby took away the remaining pain. There is hope!
ReplyDeleteI still want to concieve, but I really want to adopt again, too. I basically just want more kids and either way I can get them is fine with me. It is all anticipation now, not pain.
Once you hold that tiny baby, all that you are now suffering will have profound meaning!
Hey! Sorry that my post and my progesterone levels have sent you spinning. I don't know what to say about it all! Did you talk to Dr. B on the phone during your last cycle? Do you have any upcoming appointments with him? I would definitely ask him about it the next time you speak with him. As always, these hormones are such a mystery. I'm praying for you!
ReplyDeleteJeremiah - Do you actually speak with a doctor on a regular basis?? I don't ever. A nurse calls with my blood work results. And I have no appointment scheduled for the future and no discussion of one. At my last appointment he just said to take the Tamoxifen for four months. And the only reason I even had that appointment was for my adoption physical! Should I be asking for appointments? Thanks for the prayers!
ReplyDeleteI should ask what my progesterone level is. I have no clue. My dr is going to do a P+7 blood draw to check...I'll have to remember to ask for the number. Hmmm....Now I'm curious.
ReplyDeleteI take it you are going domestic for adoption? Did you use a private adoption agency or an organization like Lutheran Social Services, Catholic Charities, etc? Just curious. We still pray an adoption may happen for us. Not losing sleep waiting but hopeful. :)
I think for P+9, your P4 level was right on. And that's probably why your Dr said it was excellent. It is a little low for P+7, but P+7 is when it peaks, and it does start to drop right after that, so yours seems about right.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am becoming obsessed with the adoption thing. I just can't seem to move fast enough!!
Do you mind me asking what agency you're working with? If you don't want to say here, would you email me?
I'm so glad you're back, too- - it's been slow around here lately. Or maybe it's just me :)
TCIE - Okay, that makes me feel better! Although my dr didn't know anything about my cycle and thought it was actually a peak +7, so I still don't know why he thought it was okay.
ReplyDeleteAs for adoption.. we are doing domestic and using the Child.ren's Home Soc.iety of Vir.ginia. I think most states have their versions of this same agency, but I don't know how closely affiliated they all are. I know the VA one is excellent. Everything moved quickly with the home study and my friend who is also waiting says since she has been watching the "waiting families" page on the web site throughout the past year, she has seen about two families a month get moved to "placement in progress." I think we are very lucky because I know others who have had a difficult time finding the right agency, but ours has been great so far.
Its wonderful to read an update from you. I wish I could help with the progesterone questions but I'm ignorant to what it should be. You have an excellent point about the Dr at the same practice and I would DEFINITELY address it. I really dislike it when we become better care takers than our Dr.s do. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteI too think the adoption is a huge blessing. It isn't option for us and I just love to know that others are stepping out in that direction. I'm praying that you have peace about what the Lord wants you to do through all of this.
Hugs friend.
Glad you're back, wish you never had to go in the first place :(
ReplyDeleteI wish I could answer some questions about your cycle but I'm the naive newbie lol.
I AM excited about your adoption process and you're in my prayers!
K~
ReplyDeleteLong-time lurker coming out of the shadows.... First of all, my sympathies about your Grandmother's death. My beloved Grandfather died this October and I'm still dealing with it - and the IF cycle after his death I was COMPLETELY lazy, so that makes sense. Give yourself time to mourn.
Second of all, progesterone. Sadly I've become somewhat of an expert on Progesterone. 8.2 is OK. At P+7 anything under 5 is lousy, between 5-10 is OK/Good & above 10 (without Prometrium) is Excellent. Progesterone levels tend to hit their peak around 7 dpo and then start dropping as the Corpus Luteum starts to dry up (unless it detects HCG). It's a delicate balancing act and I've learned that what's "good" or "strong" one month isn't the next and levels that seem very, very close are often labelled differently. It's entirely possible that for you 8.2 was excellent and for Jeremiah it was a tad bit weak.
I think that it's perfectly reasonable to ask your dr what his/her goal is for your progesterone level. Because I have such issues with mine they always want to see it above 8 (unless I'm on Prometrium when they do the test) & then it's above 15. Subjective. If you're even more confused you can e-mail me at jenjubes@gmail.com and I'll try to help you.
On another note... I pray that you find some peace & answers about adoption. It's not easy. My DH & I are trying to determine if that's the path God has chosen for us. I pray that as you get more in to the process you'll find that peace.
I am so happy you are back. Even though I was able to call you a few times, I still missed reading your posts.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could go ahead and schedule another appt. (specifically for IF) sometime in the next couple of cycles? Would that help? You could ask all the questions you have at that point.
I am really with TCIE on this one, though, and I think you are okay with progesterone. But I also think it would be good to do another draw at some point to ease your mind. Just explain to Dr. B that you were really unsure what day you were on and you want to be sure you get your Peak +7. I think he'd understand!
Also, I know the feeling of not wanting to write. Sometimes its just like, "what can I say?" And you just want to try and get through the day.
I am so excited for you on the adoption front. There are so many mixed emotions right now for both of us, but I believe this is something we can both take to our Lord in prayer and He will give us great blessings for trusting that this could be part of His perfect, beautiful plan for us.
I think that's a perfect way to spend the night. I spent it watching American Idol with my man too. I love that show! It's addicting.
ReplyDeleteGlad your back! Looks like your getting some good advice about the prog. here.
ReplyDeleteI have friends who've adopted and they are really just so happy. I have no doubt that you would be as happy. There are so many children without families out there; it is really sad.