Some thoughts

Just some random thoughts I wanted to post about tonight (or technically, this morning):

• I just returned from adoration where I prayed the Rosary of the Seven Sorrows. Let me just say...A-MAZ-ING (which, I noticed during my CatholicTV interview, is a word I apparently say a lot). I used the meditations and prayers from the back of Immaculee Ilibagiza's new book, Our Lady of Kibeho, and they are unbelievable. Just what I needed, they were all about suffering and really answered a lot of the questions I've been pondering lately.

• For those of you who are interested, you can watch my movie, Watch With Me, online as it is airing live. For example, I just checked and it's not currently available, but earlier tonight, when it was on at 10, I was able to watch it live on www.catholictv.com. The next time you can catch it is tomorrow (Wednesday) at 4 p.m. (check the movie's website for all air times this week). All you have to do is log onto CatholicTV's website, www.catholictv.com, and it will appear in the video window on the home page. 

• If you want to watch my interview on the CatholicTV show This Is The Day, it can be seen anytime on www.catholictv.com. Just click on "This Is The Day", and you should see my episode. 
  

• I realized tonight that CatholicTV sent out a press release about my movie airing and it was even posted here.

• So, back to infertility for a moment. I have a new attitude that I'll write more about in the coming days, but let's just say I feel a sense of surrendering. I really didn't know what it meant to surrender before this week, and the thought of it really frustrated me. But it just happened, and I'm also not sure where it came from. Well, I know exactly where it came from and it wasn't from me!  Thanks be to God for this wonderful grace. That being said, if I had read this on someone's blog while I was at a low point, it would have only made me feel worse. I'm sure I'd wonder, Why not me? I'd think it was just another case of God blessing someone and leaving me behind to suffer. All I can say is, in my humble opinion, I think we all come to it at different points in our journey and I think, at least in my case, I needed to go through the different stages of grief and acceptance before I could get to this point. I yearned to truly surrender for the past four years, and I still am not sure how long this peaceful feeling will last; because I didn't do anything to deserve it, I am afraid I could just as easily go back to feeling despair. I am just thankful for every moment right now. I will definitely write more about this topic soon.

• In cycle news, I think I ovulated on Saturday. It was a 10KL AD day, which I am very thankful for. That makes all that nauseating B6 worth it, at least! I was hoping it wasn't going to happen on Sunday, since peak +7 would have fallen on this coming Sunday when labs are closed. I like it when things work out.

• And for those of you who watch American Idol: Is there any mystery who is going to win this season? Now I'd like to take a moment to speak directly to my favorite contestant, Danny. Danny, you church music director, you...you're unbelievable, and yes, you bring me hope. You made me cry, and I will buy your album (which I hope is possibly even Christian), or, since I haven't bought an actual album since college, at least download a song on iTunes. And the only reason Simon is being hard on you is because he needs it to be at least somewhat of a contest this season. Now let's just hope America didn't get over confident for you and forget to actually vote.