Having hope in the Lord

I've been feeling really great lately and it's partly because I get to see my family on Thursday! Then we all leave on Friday for vacation for a week. I'm so excited. I'm pretty bummed about one thing though. I had the chance to see the Pope next week and I had to turn it down. A friend of mine had an extra ticket to see him at Catholic University, but it's next Wednesday while I'll be seven hours away on vacation. I considered driving to D.C., but seven hours each way is just too much for one day. Plus, I don't get to see my family that often so I probably shouldn't leave while I'm with them. Oh well. I'm pretty sad about it, but I did just get to see Pope Benedict in October. Here's a great shot we got of him at the Vatican:



On another topic, I watched the best episode of Cold Case last night. It actually made me realize something important (I know this might sound pathetic, but I'm serious, and I'll take some insight wherever I can get it). It was about a guy who kidnapped and kept women in little dungeon-like rooms in basements, and the reason he does it is because basically he gets a sick enjoyment out of seeing the women give up hope. As he put it, once they lose hope, "death is just a formality". It turned out (sorry to ruin it for you) that one of the women was still alive because she refused to give up hope, despite being stuck in one room with no light and no apparent chance at being rescued. She hung on, humming the tune of church bells she could hear, and convinced herself there was something to live for. So hope saved her.

So I know this is just a t.v. show, but sometimes it takes things like this to make me realize things I should already know - that I need to have hope, even when it seems like I am stuck in a dungeon with no light. Because if I lose hope, I will die. I may not actually die, but what is the difference if I walk around like there's no reason to live? I need to have hope. God wants me to have hope. And I need to hope not necessarily for a pregnancy, but that I will have joy.

God is working in my life and I need to show Him that I am faithful, patient, and with Him always, not just in good times. He wants the best for me and all I should want is to make Him happy. Lately I want to be pregnant more than I want to please God, and that's not right.

The devil wants those of us suffering with infertility to lose hope. He is trying so hard for us to give up on our God and desperately wants us to think God gave up on us. But He hasn't! He has been with us all along and always will be. There will be tough days and suffering is painful, but the Lord is still with us through it all.