Well I am still on vacation and our internet connection isn't too great so I'm behind on blogging and reading blogs as well. It appears this cycle was a big waste, no big surprise. Of course I don't mean it was a waste because I'm not going to be pregnant. That was a given. I mean it was a waste because again I will have no blood drawn. Just when I think things can't get worse, they do.
So I don't remember if I posted about it or not, but I had too much mucus last cycle. As with every cycle so far since my surgery, SOMETHING had to happen to prevent me from getting a peak +7 blood draw, and last cycle it was too much mucus. So much so that PPVI instructed me to meet with my Creighton educator and learn how to chart with yellow stamps. So I spoke with my educator, who taught me all about distinguishing peak mucus from just extra non-peak mucus. I was ready. She was confident too. I was SO determined to learn it that I thought there was absolutely no possible way on earth that I wasn't going to get my blood drawn this cycle. NO WAY. Under what circumstances would I not be able to determine my peak day? I was getting my blood drawn one way or another. Of that I was certain.
I laugh at my confidence now. How humorous it is that I actually thought I would be able to get a simple blood draw. It turned out that I went from having too much mucus last cycle to having barely any this cycle. I had a few mucus days early on, and then a couple here and there for the next week or so (I'll post my current chart at the end of this post for anyone who cares). So the other day I decided to look back over my chart (thinking that it seemed like something wasn't right) and low and behold, my last peak-type mucus day (according to my new instructions - if I used what I was doing before, I had a peak day two days ago) was way past seven days ago. So no blood draw this month.
(Just to explain this a little - My educator taught me to define my peak day based on how my mucus has changed from day to day [for example if I charted 10KL x2 on day 12 and then 10C x1 on day 13, technically both would normally receive white stamps. But under my new instructions, the second one would receive a yellow stamp because it isn't as fertile as the first day]. One thing I'm not sure about, though, if those instructions are still to be followed if there isn't a lot of mucus, like with this cycle. I certainly don't have excess mucus right now. So there's still a glimmer of hope I could get a blood draw. I'm going to call my instructor tomorrow, but I won't hold my breath.) (On a side note, my mucus has been pale yellow a couple times in the last few days. Does anyone know what that means? I do have a deep cough right now, with yellow mucus in my lungs. Would that affect my cervical mucus?)
So I can't get a simple blood draw. I have no idea what my progesterone level is. That is a basic thing that all women going through infertility know. So basic and yet I am so far from knowing what mine is.
Not to mention that I am not ovulating. I am a 31 year old woman who just wants to be a mother and I am not ovulating. I don't know if I ever have, or ever will.
I try to remind myself that there must be a reason why God doesn't want me to have my blood drawn right now. I just have to trust that this is all moving in slow motion for a reason. I need to stop wishing my treatment was moving along like other people's. It isn't helpful to compare myself to anyone, whether it's to mothers, pregnant women, or women with infertility who are getting treatment at a quicker pace.
As for our vacation, it's been nice, except for the fact that I severly burned my face. Like second degree burns. I look like a freak. Like however bad you're picturing it right now, it's WAY worse. It's peeling and cracking and scabbed and oh ya, it's basically just one side of my face. And it's painful. I need to go slather up with lotion now.
1: 3/27 – H
2: 3/28 – H
3: 3/29 – H
4: 3/30 – H
5: 3/31 – L 0AD
6: 4/1 – B AD
7: 4/2 – B AD
8: 4/3 – B AD
9: 4/4 – 0 AD
10: 4/5 – 10C x2
11: 4/6 – 10 KL x1
12: 4/7 – 0 AD
13: 4/8 – 10 CL x1
14: 4/9 – 10 C x1
15: 4/10 – 0 AD
16: 4/11 – 0 AD
17: 4/12 – 10 CK x1
18: 4/13 – 0 AD
19: 4/14 – 10 CY x1 *
20: 4/15 – 8 CY x1 *
21: 4/16 – 10 CY x1 *
* I wasn't sure how to chart this yet, so I know this probably isn't how it should appear. I'm going to ask my Creighton educator tomorrow.
Hey I hope your face heals up alright! And you will get that bloodwork done up next round!
ReplyDeleteToday is my CD1! A big sigh. I need to update my blog soon...
Take care!!!
I am sorry about all of the frustrations. I just know that things will be better for you soon. My only advice would be to be completely honest with Hilgers' people and your Creighton instructor about how frustrating this all is right now and to ask if there is anything that can be done to speed things along (outside learning the mucus variants). I do recall P saying that HCG is recommended for excess mucus? Can they give that a whirl for you?
ReplyDeleteThe interesting thing to me is that we all have our own causes of infertility, but the end result is the same: no baby. And we all share the range of emotions that entails. It is beyond frustrating and I hate having to go through it. One day - I know - we will have our families and it will be in God's perfect timing and will.
In the meantime, don't give up hope yet for this cycle ... I saw you took advantage of some really good days, and you really have no way of knowing if you are ovulating or not so what if this cycle you did?
Have fun on the rest of your vacation !!!
PS - I couldn't tell from your entry whether this cycle was over yet ... I am sorry I am so retarded!
ReplyDeleteIf so, I hope my "hope" comments aren't completely annoying on top of everything else.
I'm sorry you are so frustrated right now! It is very difficult to feel stuck and not even be able to get the testing done to at least diagnose the problem. =(
ReplyDeleteTo answer your yellow stamp questions: No, you do not use yellow stamps if you have a cycle that doesn't have excess mucus (I think it's more than 10 or 11 days that is defined as excessive). Looking at your chart for this month (with out being able to know how your last few cycles have gone and compare) I would say you could have had a peak on cd 13 or cd 17. What does your normal "fertile" mucus look like? Don't you usually have lubricative fertile mucus? If you have been using yellow stamps for mucus that is not lubricative, then you may have missed your peak +7 window. If your "fertile" mucus is usually defined as clear and stretchy, then I would say that you could call cd 17 a peak day. If I were you I would follow the "normal" charting instructions for this cycle unless you get another patch of clear lubricative mucus.
About yellow mucus: it could be a yeast infection... especially since you have had it a few days in a row. Do you have any other symptoms that might point to a yeast infection?
Well, that is all I can think of for now. Can you fax a copy of your chart to your Creighton instructor and ask her to look at it? It might help you clarify your peak day questions.
I completely understand what you are going through. When I first started charting last February, I was frustrated. Not only do I have to deal with infertility, but I also don't have the "normal" cycles and had lots of special instructions. I too had to use the yellow stamps and it does get confusing at first, but you will get more confidence and be able to master fertility charting. Please just hang in there. There are many times when I just wanted to give up. The beauty of the Naprotechnology is to get to the root of your problem. I will be praying for you!
ReplyDelete