Sewing project and a new cycle

I can't really think of anything to write lately. I think my brain is fried.

I took advantage of a window of opportunity this weekend when I wasn't as fatigued as I have been and made a few purses for my sister's wedding. One for my mom and the other two for me and my sister who will be matron of honor and maid or honor, respectively. Don't get me wrong, I was still out of it and had to really push myself to get off the couch, and I even had to hold myself up a couple times when I was light-headed, but to get anything done is a huge relief in my current state. I now have six table-runners left to make, as well as some other non-sewing projects.

Here is my mom's on the left and my smaller one on the right (mine also has a detachable handle, as you'll see below):

This is my sister's, which is identical to mine. They match our dresses, which are brown with a sash of the same blue silk fabric, which I also made:

The inside of my sister's:

And a make-up bag to go inside my mom's bag:



The handles are all detachable and the bags can also be used as clutches. I'm happy with them, especially since I stressed about having to make the purse for a while (I didn't decide to do the additional bags until my mom's was finished). I had the idea to make it when I was feeling kind of good, and then, well, I hit a rough patch. It's also part of my creative process to think (i.e. stress, worry) about my idea for a while.

Other than actually doing something productive this weekend, I still feel like crap (mentally, that is. Physically, I feel surprisingly well). I'll probably be starting a new cycle today. It will have been a twelve-day luteal phase, which is not bad, if I'm trying to stay positive. Not great, but acceptable.

But I still have been irritable, exhausted, unmotivated, depressed. Seriously, I am not a functioning member of society! And I can't blame all of this on infertility because there are people in far worse situations who get off the couch and make something of themselves.

But, of course, I am blaming it on infertility. It has sucked me of everything. It has made me a ball of raw nerves.

I'm probably going to go shopping today with a gift card I have, trying to drown my sorrow with material purchases. Such is the story of my life - finding outside activities that may help me to forget, for a second, that I can't bear children like everyone else. It never works.

I should probably end this post or else I will have a lot of not so great things to say. I am torn between not wanting to be negative but also being honest. Honesty usually wins and that doesn't make for a very uplifting blog.

I pray that Lifehopes surgery was successful this morning. Please, God, we need some good news!