Day one

Yes, it's officially cycle day one. It happened this morning just as we were leaving to go vote (an omen, perhaps?). Sorry I didn't post until now, but (and I'm sure you can relate to this) at first I was secretly holding out hope that it was just some sort of early pregnancy spotting (and here I thought I was incapable of hope!).

I'm honestly doing okay. I already had my break-down on Sunday, so that's out of my system.

I should have known it was coming yesterday when I started tearing up at commercials; that's always a sure sign (seriously, though, have you seen the new promos on TLC for John & Kate Plus 8, Little People Big World and 17 Kids & Counting? Who could blame me?)

I'm still sick, though, with my stomach still making very loud noises and doing all sorts of weird stuff. It's like there's an alien in there at times! I'm also having cramps. It's not bad enough to do anything about it, but it's constantly there. I'm just not sure what's going on. And eating just seems to make it worse, although I do have hunger once in a while.

Of course, I looked up my symptoms and diagnosed myself with all sorts of horrible ailments. Then I called and told my mother what I had, and she talked me down. She still thinks it was the stomach bug (which it definitely was) followed by pms and hormone changes, mixed in with some of the stomach issues still lingering.

Like I've been saying the past few days, I am truly happy that my cycle is so improved. For this I am so grateful, and there's every reason to believe it will only get better.

So, for my own sake, I just wanted to make a quick list of things I'm thankful for, all of which I need to focus on more:

• My cycle is so much better than it was just a few months ago and it keeps getting better each month

• I had only one day of spotting this cycle (on day seven, tail-end brown bleeding) and NONE at the end

• My luteal phase was 12 days, up from eleven the past three cycles

• My diet is still going strong. I've lost 37.2 pounds, and I'm now fitting into sizes 2 and 4. And to think just last spring I was wearing 12 and 14's! I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging about this, it's just that at a time when it seems like everything is going wrong in my life, I need to remind myself how thankful to God I should be for this. It's easy to take my new size for granted, and it's easy to get annoyed with my diet. But, in the end, this is an enormous blessing that was only accomplished by the grace of God and it's something I should thank him for each and every day
  

• I have a wonderful, supportive husband who loves me and wants nothing more than to take care of me

• We have begun the adoption process and while there are still times where I am unsure about this step, we are leaving it in God's hands and I am confident he will not lead us astray

So there. Not bad, right? Tomorrow I'm going to post a picture of my chart, so all of you can tell me how great it looks. Just kidding, but I will gladly welcome your opinion!

Oh, and because I can't not comment on this sad, sad election, I will just say that I have no idea how I will live in a country run by this socialist, pro-choice man. But I will live. We all will. Just like we've all learned with infertility, bad things often happen despite good efforts and lots of prayer. We can question why God would allow things like this to occur, but it won't do us any good. Once again, it's all about trust and patience. Trust that God is still in control and that he has our best interest in mind. Patience that this too shall pass (even if that means four to eight years from now. Let's just concentrate on four) and the patience to wait for the day when Roe v. Wade will be overturned.

The reality is we live in a morally bankrupt society that has been long infiltrated by the culture of death. There is still good out there, and it is up to us to hold our ground and not give in to what is undeniably a powerful and evil force at work. We need to pray for those who have been taken in by this, who support the killing of innocent babies, and who are so intimidated by the Church that they seek to destroy it. Remember, they are God's children too, and their souls are also at stake.

Okay, that's enough for now on this. I need to go back to my comfortable state of denial. I just also think it's fitting that I have the extra bonus of forever remembering this horrible day as also being a cycle day one. Not my favorite Tuesday ever.