Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Complaining

Wow, when you are trying not to complain on your blog there really isn't much to write about!

I realized recently that a lot of what I write is intended, subconsciously perhaps, to attract sympathy. I complain in order to get your feedback, your condolences, to make myself feel better. But I don't think that's what I'm supposed to be doing.

Oh, and I'm very creative. I will write an entire post complaining about how bad I have it, how many years we've been trying, how God hasn't blessed me, and then wrap it up at the end with some words about what I've learned from it. But I'm catching on to myself!

I've been trying to be conscious of it for a while now, but I did have to erase a post today. I was struggling this morning, and my hour at adoration was anything but fruitful. I am just really dealing with a great deal of sadness over our inability to adopt and I found myself writing about how bad I have it.

I'm not saying that I should never talk about my negative thoughts, but I do think I need to stop myself from droning on about it just for the sake of complaining. It's like when I'm sad I have this desire to just put it out there as if to say "Look at me! I have it THIS bad! If I'm going to suffer, I at least want to get credit for it!"

That's my pride, and I think God revealed that to me so I can fix it.

I have a lot of blessings in my life. I am going to focus on them today and less on the gray cloud that the devil wants me to believe is over my head. Guess what, Satan? There is a VERY good reason why God hasn't given us babies yet and while I may not know what it is, I choose to trust in Him!

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8 comments:

  1. Praying for you.

    I did catch myself doing the same thing, so the last post I did was more of a pick-me up to myself. A reminder of all of God's promises.

    I do like the last line. I am struggling with a particular issue and it is just hanging over my head. I have to also tell Satan that God loves me more and that His plans are perfect. Sometimes I just wonder did I mess them up?

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  2. I struggle with this, too. When your blog is about IF (and we can all agree that IF is horrible) and you're in yet another month of IF, the complaining just comes naturally. It is a good breather to step back and try to focus on the better things. I need to take a lesson from you.

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  3. I think it is perfectly natural to want to express yourself when you are down. It is that way with most anything. I know I catch myself praying more when I am down, scared, hurt etc. We reach out to others at those same times. It is very difficult but certainly something I think we all try to learn is to blog, pray, reach out when we have reason for joy or just an average day :-)

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  4. Ah yes...and then I worry I don't put enough of the BAD stuff on my blog! I think sometimes I am painting our family in a false light by just showing the happy go lucky moments!
    Transparency and honesty and humility are all HARD! But I read somewhere that God is concerned with our struggle, not whether we succeed or fail...so that is a comforting thought! :)
    I just love your blog...so many do...surely you are doing something right!

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  6. Thank you for the reminder that His plans are something to look forward to, not complain about.

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  7. I love the last line of this post!! Take that, Satan!

    :)

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  8. It's definitely hard to balance being honest about your feelings with complaining. Your last paragraph is great.

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