Another improvement

Not much new going on here, other than I'm on day six of my cycle and after five days of my period, today is a dry day. No spotting! I just looked back through my charts (it's like a trip down bad-memory lane) and it's only the second time in two years that I had no spotting on day six (the only other time was the first cycle after my laparatomy and it was completely screwy, so it doesn't count!). 

I'm really so thankful for this. This cycle is already better than the last, which was better than the one before that. My body is still getting on track and I haven't even reached my optimum fertility yet. Yes, my last cycle - my first cycle of "trying" - failed, but maybe it was a bit premature to even count it. I  am getting healthier every day, and our bodies really do need time. My doctor always reminds me of how slow things really do work. Some women get pregnant right after starting a medication or having a surgery, but when we do not, that doesn't mean it's never going to happen. Our bodies need time to heal, hormones need time to regulate, and it doesn't happen overnight.

My sister got engaged Friday night and we're so excited for her! I can't help but think, though, will I be pregnant by her wedding? Will I have a baby then (they might wait til 2010)? Or will that time come and go, with me still childless? How many times have I thought way into the future and said 'of course I'll have a baby by then!' But the years go by (rather quickly, I might add) and nothing changes. 

I'm not trying to sound down about this, I'm just observing how many times I have thought I'd just die if I wasn't pregnant by such and such a time... and yet, I am still alive. Imaginary deadlines have come and gone, events that seemed way out there in the future are now years behind us, and still no baby, yet I'm okay. So, that being said, I will be okay if I don't have a baby by my sister's wedding. I'm sure I'll still have my moments, but hopefully I'll have learned a little more about navigating life as an infertile woman by then.

God willing, we will have a baby through adoption by her wedding in 2010, and, if she gets married this summer instead, we may even have adopted by that time as well. As up in the air as adoption is, I'd bet on that over getting pregnant naturally any day. Odds are definitely in favor of adoption, but longshots come in once in a while, and when they do, they're always exciting!

Okay, enough gambling references. 

We've got a lot of traveling ahead of us in the next few days. We're heading to my in-laws tomorrow through Tuesday, then on Wednesday we're making a quick trip to Baltimore. And in a week from now, I could be ovulating! It's amazing how fast the first two weeks fly by. It's the second two weeks that seem to take two months. 

Oh, and one more thing on the diet front - I discovered basmati rice this weekend. What took me so long? The G.I. Diet book says it's allowed, but for some reason I always just made regular brown rice. Well, basmati is awesome. Do yourself a favor and try it. And one more thing - Friendly's has a really good no-sugar added vanilla ice cream (at the restaurant.. the store-brand may as well, I just don't know). I actually got a sundae the other day with no-sugar-added vanilla and peanut butter sauce (my very favorite!). It turns out the peanut butter sauce isn't high in carbs or sugar (just fat) and is a great once-in-a-while treat (and perfect for when you've been sick and your mom is worried you're not eating enough. Being told I need to eat more is not something I'm used to). I was in heaven!