I'm disappointed this morning because I know my progesterone has dropped and I haven't even gotten my blood drawn yet. It's peak +8 today, and I couldn't get it drawn on peak +7 because it was a Sunday, so I will never know what the actual level was at its highest.
I know it has dropped because yesterday I felt great. I was in a great mood and could tell it was high. Then this morning I woke up feeling not so good, and now it's obvious that my mood has fallen off dramatically. I'm a mess. I felt this way last cycle on peak +8 too. I'm sure when I get the results back (a week from now probably.. ugh!) it will be under 10. That's my prediction.
I know it shouldn't matter, because if my progesterone was high, not seeing the proof of it doesn't change the fact that it was high. But heck, it is too much to ask that I can get my progesterone tested on the right day and know what it is each month? There will be at least 60 days between peak +7 results and that's even if it works out next month! There's no guarantee of that!
I know I'm going to get it drawn today and it's going to be super low, and I'm going to wonder if it was ever high. Knowing that it was 44.27 last month helped me tremendously and I was just hoping for that little pick-me-up again.
I guess I shouldn't rely on things like that. I can only rely on God. I don't know why I put my hope in these external things (oh wait, I know - because it's me trying to gain control over something I have no control over!).
I need to keep plugging along, taking my medication, charting, getting my blood drawn and accepting whatever the results are or accepting that I got tested on the wrong day. I need to just plow through and hope that one day, some time in the future (whether this year or in ten years), I'll have a baby whether through pregnancy or adoption. That is the light at the end of the tunnel. My progesterone level on March 22, 2009 means nothing in the grand scheme of things, and whether I ever knew what it was on that date means even less.
Well I'm off to get it drawn now. Wish me luck.
Oh gosh! Just because we are disappointed by our circumstances doesn't mean we walk this journey with any less faith! If I were judged on how I handle this journey I might be considered an atheiest! (SP?)
ReplyDeleteAre you on any progesterone supplements? I swear what a crazy hormone! :) I had one lady tell me that progesterone doesn't really mean a thing! hahah She was a nurse! I think as I sit here in a hormonal outrage, umm I think it might play a part! Just a tad!
I think it is very intersting how we are so intune to our bodies and can almost bet what is going on. And usually we aren't wrong.
I had felt that my hormones were slamming into each other. And bam, my results show that. :)
Hang in there! I hope the results come back soon!
xxoo Praying for you!
No, I'm not on any supplements. I've never needed it apparently because I've never had low progesterone before (except two cycles ago when I was also tested on peak +8, so it was probably higher the day before). I guess I should be thankful I have one thing that goes right with me!
ReplyDeleteBummer for not feeling so hot. As for the weekend messing things up, I hear you on that one! I was supposed to start my Hydrocort and do a cycle review on CD 1 with PPVI. Wouldn't you know it, CD 1 was on SATURDAY! Worst possible day for it to start, so I had to wait until CD 3 to call them, and knowing how busy they are, I may not even get to do a cycle review today. I went ahead and started the Hydrocort anyway, though. Let's hope I don't have some emergency reaction to it!
ReplyDeleteI've had my "P+7" drawn on P+8 sooooo many times. Sometimes I'll do it on P+8 on purpose, to see if it's "still high" and convince myself, if only for a day, that I'm preggo.
I will be praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe your Peak + 8 will not be all that different from what you'd get if you drew yesterday?? After all, it's still the morning of Peak +8 ... does Progesterone drop this dramatically, this quickly?
I will pray that it's still high, and that you are just in a bad mood unrelated to progesterone!!! (and that you start to feel better)
I'm probably just clueless, but if your progesterone has been good in the past, AND it was great last cycle, AND you have been having great looking cycles, why do you still have to go and do these draws? It seems stressful, that's all.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and a pregnancy soon.
i often get my blood drawn on peak +8 as well (mostly because i seem to start my HCG shots on peak +4 all the time anyway). my creighton practitioner told me that it doesn't matter as long as it's done before peak +9.
ReplyDeletei hope that you're feeling better today. i wish i could blame my hormones for being tired, but i think it's because i didn't get to bed early last night!
have you had your later levels drawn (i.e. peak plus 9 & 11)? Because you may be experiencing a late luteal phase defect. Just a thought. Last month your results were so good, I do think you were preggo and maybe had an implatation failure. Have you ever thought about looking into immune factors for IF?
ReplyDeleteHope that you are feeling better! God is forever present with you.
ReplyDeletehi lady! just wanted you to know that you've been linked to again, here: http://buildingcathedrals.blogspot.com/2009/03/economic-conditions-increase.html. You're famous! hehe.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you, spent some time at my holy hour on Monday (yes! i started a Holy Hour from 6-7 am) praying for you and all you dealing with Catholic infertility. I was moved to tears. PRaise God.
Yes, I put up the link at Building Cathedrals. I hope you don't mind. I just feel very strongly that couples like you, and so many of your wonderful readers, would make such wonderful, amazing, awesome parents. I only wish more women had the courage to choose life, and give their baby into a pair of loving arms like yours.
ReplyDeleteAgain, God Bless you for sharing your struggles so openly with all of us. It is an inspiration to me.
Right said red, I hope you don't think I was outing you! I was so excited to see it on Building Cathedrals... I read your great blog almost daily, but never comment (bad me!) Maybe someday when I'm married with kiddos I will... for now I read and am inspired... daily!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
P.s. You always have such beautiful posts!