The calling of compassion

I heard something the other day that struck me, but before I say what it was, I should point out that I have no idea where I heard it. It could have been on one of your blogs (I apologize, if that is the case), on T.V., in real life, or maybe even in a dream. I have a hazy memory of it with images, so I'm leaning towards T.V. or dream.

So, anyways, a man was talking about a woman who had gone through some sort of struggle and said that at least it allowed her to have compassion for others. That, of course, got me thinking.

I'm always wondering why God wants me to bear this cross. The "why" has been so important to me. I wonder if I'll find out one day, if I'll look back on it years from now and it will all make sense, or if I won't have answers until I'm in heaven, if I'm blessed enough to make it there. But what if the answer all along was that I'm going through infertility in order to have compassion for others, and nothing else?

At first it might sound simple, too simple to be the answer we might want to hear. It always seems better when I imagine that this is all part of some grand plan of God's, one that has several layers and intricate associations. But it may, in fact, be just about compassion. And isn't that enough?

If God were here today and asked me himself to go through infertility just to have greater compassion for others, would I say no? Would I tell him that was silly? Or try to convince him there was another, easier, way to learn that same compassion?

The truth is he is here today, asking that of me. And quite often I tell him no, it's not a good enough reason. But I think I need to start thinking about it from his perspective.

According to an online dictionary, the definition of compassion is the "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it."* It's not just a matter of having sympathy, but the desire to actively alleviate the suffering of others.

Christ gave us the ultimate example of compassion. He died on the cross for our sins to alleviate our ultimate suffering. With that in mind, when he says 'take up your cross and follow me', he's asking us, among other things, to have the same profound desire to alleviate the sufferings of others as he did. In this sense, taking up our cross means more than just being patient or not complaining, it means actively helping to alleviate the suffering of others.

Most of us are probably already doing this by chance, just out of the sheer need to help ourselves. I didn't set out to blog in order to help anyone else, but rather for selfish reasons - to find out information about, at that time, my upcoming surgery (and it's debatable if my rants and complaining help anyone anyway). But is there any one of us who wouldn't sit and counsel someone with infertility who wants our help? Do those of us who have discovered NaPro not want to shout it from the rooftops so others can discover it, too? It's now a natural response to helps others, because we know just how much this hurts.

But not until just now did I even think of compassion in the sense that it may be what we are called to by God. It may be the reason for all of this.

So is it enough? Would I be satisfied if God, himself, were to tell me the sole reason for my infertility is for me to feel compassion towards others and to, along the way, possibly help alleviate some of their suffering? Well, it'd be easy to tell him yes to his face, since it'd be a miraculous experience and all! But more importantly, is it enough of a reason if there is no miraculous experience, and this journey of infertility never makes sense otherwise? The answer has to be yes. We are called to follow Christ and to love our fellow man. And if God sees fit to give me a heart for doing just that, then who am I to complain?


*There's also an interesting link to the latin root pati. It means suffering, and is found in both the words 'patience' and 'compassion'. Isn't that neat? I didn't really know either of those words were connected to suffering before suffering became such a big part of my life!