Prayers for a follicle... and some good news!

Last night I proclaimed to my husband that I think I might be ovulating. Women's intuition, perhaps? I don't know, but I've never really thought that before. The reasons I think I might be ovulating are as follows:

- I am bloated. Not only did I begin to notice it last night, but this morning I had gained one pound. That might not sound like a big deal, but since starting my diet I know exactly how much I weigh from day to day and there's no reason that I should have gone up a pound. And don't some people experience bloating around ovulation? Not being an ovulator, I'm not sure but I think I read that somewhere.

- I have some pain on my left side. I've always heard people talk about having back pain around ovulation but I never experienced it myself until yesterday and today. It is strictly on my left side, and I also have some pain on the left front as well. I know this could still happen even if I don't release a follicle, but some months I don't feel a thing so I'll take this as a good sign that something is happening.

- I've had four days of peak-type mucus. Now, this isn't unusual for me. I always have good mucus, and I know better than anyone that mucus doesn't mean that I'm ovulating. But for normal people it is a sign of ovulation so I'm glad it's there.

- My bbt seems to be doing some of the right things. For the first week of my cycle it was pretty steady at 97.9. Then it dropped to 97.0 three days ago, which coincided with my second day of peak-type mucus. It stayed at 97.0 until this morning when it rose to 97.7. I'm not sure that's a good sign, though, because if that was the big spike it probably should have gone up more. I don't know. Hopefully it will go up more tomorrow.

With me, it's just so hard because my body begins the process of ovulating each month, but the ovary just can't get that follicle out (which is why I can have positive OPK's yet not ovulate). I actually read today that if you don't ovulate, you don't actually get a real period, and if you do get something that resembles one that it is just mimicking it. Isn't that weird? It kind of scares me to think that I don't even get a real period. That kind of makes me think my body is more screwed up than I previously thought. But I'm not going to worry about that.

So we will see. I'm just really hoping that between my diet and my supposedly normal prolactin, that a follicle might just squeeze itself out this month. Maybe I need to try some visualization techniques. Just kidding, I'll stick to good old prayer. Speaking of which, if you wouldn't mind, could you maybe say a quick prayer that my follicle finds its way out this month and doesn't shrivel up and die?

By the way, speaking of prayer, I have some great news!! Our friends who met with a birthmother the other day were chosen! Yay! I can't believe it. Well, I can, but I can't believe how quickly you can go from the world of infertility into the world of motherhood. This friend is also dealing with infertility, and in her case she has known about it since she was a teenager. She is a real committed Catholic, so IVF was not an option for her (although it is often the only hope for people in her situation, so it's even more amazing she has resisted it). It's such a huge blessing! And they are going to be wonderful parents. This little baby hit the family lottery! It also made me think today how adoption isn't the consolation prize I once thought it was. Sure, there might be some things I'll never experience if I can't get pregnant, like getting that positive pregnancy test, the experience of carrying a child in my womb, or giving birth. But adoption has its own joys that are unique to it, like getting the call from your agency telling you you've been chosen, the excitement of knowing you're world is going to change in a matter of weeks or even days, and the thrill of stocking an entire nursery in a few shopping sprees. Those are things that couples who never adopt will never know. I told my friend the other day before her meeting with the birthmother that I just knew if she got this baby that I would probably send my application papers in right away. I think I just need a first-hand experience with adoption in order to warm up to the idea. Well, anyways, thank you SO MUCH for your prayers!