Well I just took a home pregnancy test (at 8:30 p.m.) and it was negative. I know you're supposed to test in the morning, but once I bought it I just didn't feel like waiting. The test said you can test any time of day once you have missed your period, but I'm not sure that I have (how does someone with irregular cycles know if they've missed their period?). It's been 13 days since my positive OPK, but far less days since my last peak-type mucus day. I had my blood drawn this morning so PPVI will call me with the official results tomorrow. I just wanted to know ahead of getting that call. I'd rather see it myself than hear it from another human being. I might take another in the morning, just for fun (or to torture myself, I guess).
Whatever this is, it's making me feel like crap. I had more cramping today, low in the middle as well as on my left side. And I probably should mention I haven't gotten my period (or was that implied?) and haven't had spotting today. I also haven't had any PMS symptoms. For example, my breasts are always sore and they're not. So is my period not even close yet? And do these symptoms mean low progesterone? That's what PPVI will say. Can low progesterone cycles come and go? Or is this a new problem now for me?
I have to admit that thinking there was a possibility I was pregnant was fun while it lasted. And I don't feel let down, because I never really let myself think it was real. It was just hard not to think there was a chance when it's everyone's first thought when I tell them my symptoms (my Creighton teacher had the same reaction today). The funny part is that even though I spent the last five days in this state of possibly being pregnant and thinking about how maybe my body does work, there's no such thing as "almost pregnant." It's not like we magically found out through some kind of ultrasound that the egg was nearly fertilized but at the last minute it didn't take. No. I was just as not-pregnant this month as any month before. I probably didn't even ovulate. But, as I said, it was fun to pretend.