My babies' daddy

When I met my husband 12 years ago (nearly to the day today), I knew right away he'd make a great father.

And I remember clearly the reason why - he was funny.

As someone prone to stress and seriousness, I knew I needed someone to lighten the mood, and I dreamed of a playful, fun-loving dad for my kids. For some reason I always had a particular scenario in my mind of Ryan and I on a long car ride (perhaps due to memories of car trips as a kid being terrible...whose aren't?) with our kids in the backseat starting to get antsy, and Ryan calming them down with some silly joke or song.

Well, the more I got to know him better, as with anyone, I discovered Ryan actually isn't calm and collected 100% of the time. And I'm sure he's bound to lose it on a long trip sometime in the future. But he is the fun, playful dad I dreamed of. He's not afraid to act like a kid around the babies, and he's always making Clara laugh. She probably thinks his voice is two octaves higher than it actually is from the way he talks to her in funny voices.

And Clara worships him. She calls for him every time she wakes up. She runs to the front door and stands, perfectly still (no small feat for a toddler), watching him get into his truck and back out of our driveway, twice a day, every day. She lights up when he comes on t.v., loudly proclaiming, "Daddy! Daddy!" And you should see the way she looks at him when he walks in a room. Pure love.

They have a special bond, those two.

I am absolutely in love with the way Clara loves her father (and, I have assured him, Luke will feel the same way soon.. probably around the time he's weaned).

And while I love the way he jokes with her and makes her giggle uncontrollably, no longer is his sense of humor the main reason I'm glad I chose him for my kids' dad. Even better than all that (which is pretty darn good) is how he protects us, provides for us, and worries about the bigger picture so we don't have to.

In particular, I love that Clara and Luke's father has planned and worked hard to allow me to stay at home with them. I love that he works two jobs. I love that he doesn't mind not having the best things (if I worked he'd have an iPad by now, just about the only material item he has any desire for in the world). I love that we're on the same page, and that it was never even a discussion whether we'd live on one income.

And recently he said something that nearly made me swoon, one of the sweetest things he's ever said: That he'd want me to stay home even if I didn't want to.

Okay, you might think either he or I am nuts if you don't feel the same way about that statement (and that he's controlling, which couldn't be further from the truth). But as someone who loves staying home, hearing my husband say that was like music to my ears. That he felt that strongly about it. Ahh! I just love that.

And I am so terrible. I complain about our small house, our yard, our neighborhood. That we don't have a van. I spend a lot of time complaining about what we don't have. I even - get this - complain about him being gone at his second job.

When I write it all down like that it makes me cringe.

It's not easy being the family's sole earner, all that weight on his shoulders alone. That's one big thing I've learned since becoming a parent - that Ryan has pressures I'll never know. It effects men at their core, the innate desire to take care of their family. He's driven by that.

And the fact that me and the babies just see the results - the home, the food, the clothes, the fun extras - and not the negative effects of the stress he's under... well, it's all part of the great dad that he is.

So on this Father's Day (a day late), I am so totally grateful for my husband. For his humor, his love, his hard work, his drive, his protection, and that he lets me stay home to raise our children, despite not getting that iPad he wouldn't mind having ;). We love him so much and I thank God he's my babies' daddy.