News

So we had the homestudy today. It went fine. We basically just answered 50 questions about our relationship. Some of the time I felt like I was answering the interview question during a beauty pageant - trying quickly to come up with a good, concise answer without sounding completely unintelligent - while the rest of the time I felt like I was at a job interview. There were a lot of those "what is your greatest weakness" type of interview questions where everyone answers, "Well, I'm a perfectionist..." or "I just expect so much from my co-workers..." So we tried to answer honestly while balancing not coming across like weirdos yet also not seeming too perfect (I think I talked about fighting two times, but if someone said they never fought I hope that would be a red flag!). We were also given tons of paperwork which we need to finish by our third appointment. Things are moving along quickly, though, as our second homestudy appointment will be two weeks from today.

If it seems like I am moving through that pretty quickly, well, I am (normally I'm not exactly short-winded, but it's not like I had to tell you all that). Not to take anything away from it, but my focus tonight has shifted a little to some amazing news.

My blood work came back perfect. That's right. It's all normal.

My doctor's office called me tonight and left a message. Since I didn't answer in time, I seriously whimpered and cried for the next twenty minutes at the prospect of having to wait until morning to call them back (it was after hours) for what I assumed would be my test results. As I was just beginning to calm down, my phone rang again. It was the nurse.

Nurse: "Dr. B wanted me to call and let you know that your lab results are in. [Holding my breath at this point] The tests came back normal. Everything was perfect. It says here to continue your medicine and it also says that you can go ahead and try to... conceive? Is that the word he wrote? Conceive?"

Me: [In shock at this point] "Yes, that's the word."

Nurse: "Oh, you are starting to try to conceive. Okay."

Even in my utter disbelief at my good fortune, I had to chuckle at the nurse's assumption that we were just starting to try. But then I realized, oh my God! We are starting to try!!!! I think I was in shock after I hung up. Seconds after telling my husband the news, I had to ask him, did that really happen? She might as well have told me I was pregnant.

What does this mean? Well, I assume it means my PCOS is under control (I say "assume" because I didn't speak directly with my doctor tonight, although he did tell me this was the case at my appointment last week, so I shouldn't be hesitant to write that). If I went off the medication and started eating normal again, it would come back. But for all intents and purposes, my hormones are behaving like someone who doesn't have PCOS right now.

When my doctor first told me I had PCOS, he said he'd treat me like he treats all his patients, but there's no guarantee I'd react how he hoped to the protocal. Some women do and some women don't. At my appointment last week he was actually excited because, he said, he lays out a treatment plan and when it works like it is supposed to, it's exciting. Now we know for certain it worked like it was supposed to. My body actually did what it was supposed to!!

So here we are. I'm not used to getting good news. The world seems a little brighter, like a dark cloud lifted. I'm not kidding. I know I still might never conceive (I'm a pessimist, don't forget.. or a "realist" as my husband so affectionately kept referring to me during our homestudy meeting today). And I know that my peak plus seven blood draw coming up this cycle might show a problem (although I have to believe if something is wrong with my progesterone, it wouldn't be as difficult a fix as what I've already overcome). But right now my hormones are back to normal, my prolactin is normal, my testosterone is normal and most importantly, my LH/FSH ratio that was crazy before is back to normal. For all this I thank God. I still don't know or understand his plan - and I know the ride is a lot easier to take when things are looking up - but we still have a long road ahead and I just hope that I can continue to trust in him the whole way.

Now I am going to go celebrate with some strawberries dipped in a little bit of chocolate.