Getting better...slowly *updated*

I felt a lot better today, but tonight, well, not so much.

When your mom lives eight hours away you have to take matters into your own hands, so this afternoon I made chicken noodle soup from scratch. I think this might have been my down fall.

Not wanting to go off my diet again today (I switched from regular ginger ale to coke zero), I decided to make my own soup rather than eat the canned stuff. That way the noodles would be G.I.-approved and I could control the other ingredients as well. Except for obviously feeling pretty weak, I felt nearly back to normal this morning and afternoon - I was fine getting my blood drawn, I was fine at the store, and I was fine making the soup...at first. Then, this evening as I was cutting up the chicken, I started to feel sick again. So I finished everything and got back in bed. I really hope I don't throw up, but I don't think I will. It's definitely not that bad.

In other news, I'm betting that I will start a new cycle on Sunday, if anyone would like to take that bet. Sunday will be eleven days past my peak day and that seems to be the length of my luteal phases lately. And yesterday, amidst throwing up, I got the sensation I get in my legs each and every single month that means the end is near. The legs never lie. My body doesn't do too much on a regular basis, but that sign is the one thing I can count on. I haven't felt it yet today, but we'll see. I guess it is possible that it had something to do with me being sick, weak and dehydrated, but I always try to make excuses for what else the leg sensation could be, and it's always the same old thing.

That's fine if that's the case. I'm really okay with it and, surprisingly, I'm not embarrassed that I told you I was hopeful this month. It hurts every single month, whether I hope or not, so why not try to at least be somewhat positive? And I know it's not here yet, but it really feels like God is guarding my heart this cycle. Perhaps that has something to do with being hopeful? I'm not sure. Tonight I was reading bible verses on this topic, and I was reminded that we should have hope in HIM, not that our request will be granted. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to make our lives here on earth more comfortable, that we never think in terms of the bigger picture - that God has saved a place for us in eternity! That is where our true hope should lie.

Well, I'm going to turn off the computer and turn on the t.v., maybe even try to fall asleep. I will offer up my discomfort for all of you and all those who I have promised prayers to. I'm also going to try to focus on the blessings in my life. For now, I've got homemade chicken noodle soup on the stove, my husband's at his RCIA class and I'm relaxing in bed. Things could be a lot worse.

Update: I'm really happy with the way my chicken noodle soup with (whole wheat) dumplings came out, and I believe my husband's exact words were "this is the most incredible thing I've ever tasted!" It was really good and that's a good thing, because I think we have enough left over to feed us for the next four days!

I'm not feeling so hot right now, though, so I'm really going to try to sleep this time (after the last time I wrote that, I proceeded to make dumplings for the soup, eat, watch t.v., have a friend come over, etc., etc. No wonder I'm not feeling well right now!).