An infertile dream

I fulfilled a long-held infertility dream today. You know those random things you think about when you're crying about not being a mother? Well, for me, a big one was wanting to take my children to an amusement park. Not a huge one with roller coasters - because that is most definitely not my style - but one for toddlers or young children.

Okay, so my dream got pretty specific. It was to take my kids to Sesame Place. I coveted it. I planned it out in my mind. And then, when we miraculously had not one, but two children come into our lives, I started to literally plan a trip. I couldn't wait until they were (barely) old enough, and we decided this year would be the year.

But then lately I realized, to my delight, that it was more economical to take them to the Sesame park inside the Busch Gardens right near us.

So, after saving all year, this...

Became these...

And the best part is we can go to the park as often as we'd like until September 3! I'd say that's a pretty awesome way to spend loose change!

The kids (who are free, by the way) loved it. I wish I had taken a picture of Clara's face when we walked into the Sesame part. She lit right up. 

And Luke - a HUGE Elmo fan - was in his glory, randomly yelling, "Elmo! Elmo!" everywhere he looked. We actually didn't even see the real Elmo since we could only make a quick trip today, but they didn't care!

There are a bunch of rides they can go on for their height (plus others in the rest of the park that we didn't even try today), but I don't think we'll be doing this Oscar the Grouch one anytime soon. Let's just say I'm glad I didn't get sick, and I'm hoping I didn't scare Clara off of rides for good! She's smiling here only because it was at the start...

Ahh.. this is more our speed. Both kids were absolutely thrilled to ride the train around the park.

See how blessed I am?

I shouldn't need anything else in the world when I have this on the other end of my camera lens...

We were literally only there for an hour today, since Ryan had to get to work. But when you can go back as often as you like, you can go for an hour! Okay, maybe in the future we'll try to go on a day when we can stay a little longer.

This was huge for me today. And that might sound weird to some people, but not to those who know what it's like to dream for so long. Those detailed dreams you conjure up when you're crying for the hundredth day in a row. Of course I wanted to just be a mother, but after five years of trying you start to get specific in the things you imagine. This just happened to be one of them for me. 

It's one of those days when you reflect on how far you, only by the grace of God, have come. And one of those days when you remember what it felt like in the trenches. Because the joy I feel today is amplified by the memory of how much I longed for it.