Friday, March 23, 2012

I'm normal, and pictures

A nurse from my doctor's office called this evening to tell me that all of my recent blood work came back normal. Normal LH, FSH, TSH, and even normal prolactin.

My prolactin was high during infertility and I took medication to lower it. Now, as a breastfeeding mother, it's low-normal (I did read something about it going down after you've breastfed for a long time, which I suppose I have).

I found myself a little dejected after hanging up. But then I realized I should consider it a good thing everything is normal. During my five-and-a-half years of infertility, things were definitely not normal. Along with my high prolactin, my LH/FSH ratio was out of whack, my thyroid was off, and I had severe endometriosis pain. All those abnormal things and I wasn't conceiving.

So I'll keep nursing Luke for the time being (assuming my prolactin being normal means my lack of conception isn't due to breastfeeding). And I guess I'll just wait and see what happens.

I think there's something nice about being normal (other than the obvious). Only then can I really let God take over. When there are issues to be resolved - as there were during my infertility struggle - you are busy "helping God" with the logistics of appointments, treatments, diets, ultrasounds, researching, etc., etc. But if things are truly normal, then I have nothing left to do but leave it in God's hands, and trust that whatever happens is ultimately the best for our family. It sounds very liberating right now. Especially since I do trust God. It's not very difficult after the way he's grown our family so far. It's when I doubt myself and whether I'm doing enough that I get into trouble.

*******

We had the pleasure of watching Clara and Luke's friend E this afternoon and, as always, there were some good photo opportunities with these three.

As anyone who has tried to photograph kids knows, if I had attempted to get them to sit like this, it wouldn't have worked...


Or stand like this... This was all them...


E sat like this for a while, looking so very adult-like in the way he relaxed with a little grin on his face. It just made me smile...


I am so excited about this find - $20 on Craigslist! It's our only outdoor toy and it was desperately needed so that they'll stop trying to play with the grill (who am I kidding, that probably won't stop). New ones sell for around $140. I might even be able to re-sell it in the fall for a profit!...


I think of a different caption every time I look at this one... I think it's actually a "where it'd go?" look, but he also kind of seems like he's saying, "Are you going to mess with this?"...


On the other hand, I have no doubt what Clara was thinking in this one - "Please, E, just one sip. My mommy doesn't give me the Lactaid anymore. I need it bad. Please?!?!"


And then there's this one...


...which makes me think back to when these two first met, sitting on our leather recliner in our living room the day we brought Clara home...


Seems like just yesterday.

14 comments:

  1. Ahh that last picture made me smile! They are just so adorable together. The three little amigos! LOVE your outdoor toy! I want something for alana to play with outside! I am jealous of everyone's craiglists....mine stinks :)

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  2. wow, i haven't seen Luke's pic in a while! he's so grown up:) I had no idea his hair was so red! Oh what a cutie! And E and C look so grown up together! I have been following your and L's blog since before you had yoru little ones and it's so amazing to see them all together.

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  3. We are going to have so many good photos for their rehearsal dinner slideshow in about 20 years, hehe...! :)

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    1. But, my Isabella needs to marry E!

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  4. Oh la, la...a little romance is going. Love your FIND on CRAIG'S LIST.

    You have what money can NEVER EVER EVER buy. LOVE and a Catholic Sister in Christ close by and your kids....oh, and your eye for photography. Woman...I need to hire you for a photo shoot BIG TIME.

    So many talents surrounding you I can't even digest them all.

    Soon when the kids are a bit bigger (but please time don't hurry) you are going to be bursting with ideas of entrepreneurship. I.can.just.see.it.

    So excited for you.

    I hear you on the "normal thing" For years I test normal for glucose tolerance etc. when clearly I am anything BUT normal and actually face major risk for diabetes NOW (I am currently gestational diabetic) so it is a JOKE that I always passed all my screenings and doctors never pursued these angle until I met Dr. Kwak who saw the hand writing on the wall and knew I DO HAVE problems with insulin.

    Anyways, suffice is to say, with MORE testing we can always FIND problems...but the key is to know even with NORMAL results we KNOW there are underlying factors and getting healthy BOTH BODY and MIND is PARAMOUNT to overcoming IF.

    Isn't it great being outside during the day with your kids?

    I find this to be one of my biggest joys. That because I am not having to work fulltime I can go outside with my child in the day...Just being outside. Now that is a MAJOR joy and blessing.

    Working Moms and Moms who are runnning around for store to store...miss this.

    It is so sad.

    We are SO lucky!!!!!!

    Everytime I go outside I say, "I am the luckiest woman in the world."

    I know, this is from being inside an office for too many years as a IF.

    But, seriously, THESE are the kinds of pleasures that should make our hearts burst in gratitude for our lives.

    Sorry I know I am sounding corny. Must be that I have only 5 weeks left until I give birth and I am getting weepy already!


    CONGRATS on the jungle gym!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. Normal is such a tough diagnosis. It wasn't until Dr Hilgers that my "normal" thyroid was found to be not normal, but on paper everything else was great. I hope every time I go to the doctor that she tells me something she can fix.

    Love the outdoor gym!!!! Craigslist is so amazing!

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  6. I have a similar picture of my son with two of my friends' children from back in 1990. We are still in touch with the friends and I'm facebook friends with one of the children (drum major at Georgia Tech now!) so I sent him a copy. It was so sweet!

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  7. Totally in love with all the photos! Cute kiddos! I love that last one too! My how they have grown!

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  8. Normal TSH, hahahaha

    Glad everything else is normal!

    Great pics! Love them!

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  9. What a steal from craigslist! happpy ttc :)

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  10. I was just reading a new study on the thyroid and it tells how around 1990 or so, TSH became the standard by which to judge thyroid health instead of SYMPTOMS.

    And, as a result medication dosage was reduced by 50%.

    Meanwhile people are crawling into their doctors' offices with ALL THE SYMPTOMS of poor functioning thyroid and it is now an epidemic in terms of underdiagnosis.

    BLOOD TESTS do not reveal this. TSH is a very poor diagnostic tool for thyroid problems.

    Dr. Brownstein out of Michigan has a video I reccomend it is on a cheesy website called NEWSMAX or something like that but it is accurate.

    If you have symptoms of thyroid problems, low basal body temperature, IF, etc...you are likely not normal.

    Which kinda makes sense no?

    It all lines up with what I have learned from reading about reproductive immunological loss as well.

    I am "normal" on my thyroid bloodwork, too. But, hardly normal!!!!

    I am "normal" on my insulin resistance blood work, but here I am with PCOS and full blown gestationa diabetes.

    Normal is not to be relied upon.

    That is how I personally overcame IF. I stopped listening to being told I was 'within range.'

    Thanks be to God.

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  11. That's an interesting point you make about letting God take over and truly letting go knowing things are normal. I think I came to a point where I realized things were far from "normal" and I just had to let go, anyway. It was probably much more scary, but just as liberating in the end. Normal or not normal, God is better at being in control of our lives than we will ever be, right? :)

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  12. Hey, I have been meaning to comment on the ttc frustration, nursing, etc. By way of comparison ... I still haven't even had a cycle! My last period was Feb. 13, 2010! ack! So I've been asking myself the same questions of if I should stop nursing E ... I would like to start having cycles, so I can start ttc, so if it takes years I can try to have a second baby before I am 40. ugh. But at the same time, I don't know if I will be able to conceive again, and I would hate to cut off this rather sweet time of nursing if it is my only chance to do so. (and I think it is the only time E is still, so I kind of need it as a break in the day every now and then) And at this point, E is starting to get older, so hopefully he'll nurse less and less in the coming months anyway. It's a little stressful. After those years of hating the sight of it, who knew one day I would be hoping to see my period, wishing for it as a sign of potential fertility!

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  13. Those three are TOO DARN CUTE!!!!

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