Home visit

It's very late, but I just wanted to check in to update about the home study visit today. It went great and now we just have to turn in some remaining paperwork. Our social worker thinks if all goes well, we will be approved sometime next month.

I can't believe the home study process - what I dreaded for the last three years whenever I contemplated adoption - is over. Well, nearly over - the birthmother letter still scares me.

Of course, we cleaned more than necessary. Although, now our house is just as clean as most people's homes are on a regular basis, so it was probably a good idea anyway.

One of the big things we learned today was that we will most likely be matched with a white baby. That surprised me, because I've always been open to adopting a child of a different race. Apparently, when a baby becomes available, the agency goes to a waiting couple of that same race first, if one is available, and our social worker told us they usually are.  I guess it's a good thing that there are couples of many racial backgrounds who are waiting to adopt through our agency (the website has photographs of waiting couples, so I know this to be true). And she also said that if the birthmother wants to choose the parents (and I got the feeling that doesn't usually happen), they almost always choose a couple of their same race. 

It's not shocking information, I guess. I just didn't know that. 

Other than that, she asked us tons of questions about our discipline methods, what types of things we are willing to accept in a child (medical issues, family history, etc.) and what type of contact we would want, if any, with the birthmother. I'll post more about that in the future, but we mainly said "that's fine" to everything she asked, except when it comes to accepting a baby that is considered a legal risk. After seeing what our friends went through when they lost their beautiful little baby boy this fall, I don't feel comfortable taking a high legal-risk baby. Although we did tell her that it would be on a case-by-case basis, because there are some situations that are high risk but aren't as high a risk as our friends' situation. But, that being said, if a birthfather is in the picture and might contest, we don't want to be involved.

So that's where we are with adoption. I've got to go to bed, but I also wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your comments yesterday. And I also want to thank my husband for his amazing guest post. I am so blessed, and I am going to post much more on that in the coming days. And I guess I need to have him back more often because I'm pretty sure it is officially the most-commented-on post I've had so far! And don't think he wasn't checking it all day to see how many it was up to!