I'm okay. I'm not going to let this ruin my Christmas. We are leaving for my parents' house Sunday night and I can't wait. I haven't been home since August and I have only been home three times this whole year. I also haven't seen one of my sisters since last Christmas. I can't even begin to describe how much I've been looking forward to this. I am SO excited and even stupid infertility can't rob me of that.
I will get to meet my sister's new boyfriend and then there's the other sister who just got engaged. My parents are having my dad's office party at their house on Tuesday and that's always fun. Then there's Christmas of course, and let me just say that my parents still buy us a TON of presents. Then on Friday we'll celebrate my birthday early. We'll also shoot some video for my documentary on Wednesday (speaking of which, I have to start posting some clips from that here). There will be no reminders of pregnancy or babies. It will just be fun and relaxing and the only thing I'm not looking forward to is leaving Friday night.
In cycle news, it's day twenty. I personally think I ovulated sometime between Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning. I had great mucus - "10 KL AD" (or for those of you who don't speak Creighton - clear, lubricative and stretching an inch or more, all day) - three days in a row, Monday through Wednesday. I've never had that type of great quality for that long and that often during the day. I know that has to be an improvement. I'm still ovulating late, if I am ovulating at all. At least day 18 or 19 seems late, but I'm not sure what the window is for normal. I usually just make it in those windows.
Yesterday I woke up four hours earlier than normal, so my temping was screwed up, but I believe it still showed a rise. This morning it was 97.9. The day before, it was 97.8. So even though it was four hours earlier than the previous day, it was still up a tenth of a point. I think that shows that had I slept until my normal time, it would have likely been around 98.3.
That being said, I am very perplexed because it was low again this morning. I think it was 97.6. I know I shouldn't temp, but I did and now that temperature is really confusing. My temps are always very normal around this time of my cycle. They are practically all 97.8 and then, coinciding with my peak day of mucus, they always rise to around 98.3. So this is different and odd.
My back hurts. This is a relatively new phenomenon, mainly happening in the last two months. I think it is due to me standing up for long periods of time sewing, especially because I basically just sat on the couch prior to my sewing binge.
Speaking of that, while I used to do it as my full-time job practically, I can't sit on the couch anymore at all. I tried today as my fabric was in the washing machine and had nothing else to sew, and I just couldn't do it. I was bored. How can someone's personality change so drastically so fast? I spent years either sitting on the couch or wishing I could. I mean, I had a bed pillow on the couch permanently! And let me clarify, when I say "sit" I actually mean lay. Staying relaxed during my surgery recovery was nothing because it was all I did even before the surgery.
I guess my point is that I wasn't just lazy before, I was exhausted. I was weak. I felt dizzy when I stood up. The only time I felt good was when I was laying down on the couch watching t.v. It's kind of like my body and my mind were lazy. I didn't want anything to challenge me, I just wanted to veg out. I truly think this was a medical problem, and whether it was associated with a low thyroid, high prolactin or PCOS (all three things I started treating last Spring) or eating low carb, I'm not sure. All I know is that the fog has been lifted. I can clearly see that things have changed immensely.
Now I just need everything else to start working like it's supposed to. Ovaries, I'm talking about you here.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Not letting this get me down
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm not sure that there is a "normal" ovulation range, even for the ame person when it comes to pcos. Of the two cycles I ovulated on last spring, one was like CD 35 and the one that actually worked was CD 22 I believe. Sounds like your cycles are becoming more predictable lately! That's exciting in itself.
ReplyDeleteSo funny about the couch. I have my days too where I just want to do something, anything!
You are so sweet!
ReplyDeleteThat is why I haven't sewn since today because it kills my back. When I say sewing takes a lot out of me it is because it really does.
I am making 4 aprons today, but they look completely different then yours!
I hope you have a great time at your sisters. I think it might be quiet here on blog land next week. :(
That mucus is great! Are you taking the B6 supplements?
I just found this at another Catholic blog:
ReplyDeletehttp://makemeasaint.blogspot.com
Beautiful marriage prayer!
The Hands of a Bride and Groom
Beloved Bride:
Please take your groom's hands in yours:
These are the hands, young and strong and vibrant with love, that held yours today at your Wedding Mass as he promised to love you all the days of his life.
These are the hands that, God willing, you will place with expectant joy beneath your heart one day until he, too, feels his child stir within your womb. These are the hands that look so large and clumsy now, yet will be so gentle when he holds your baby for the first time.
These are the hands that will work long hours to earn the money for you and your family. These are the hands that will get nicked and bruised from fixing things around the house to make you more comfortable.
These are the hands that will caress your body throughout the years, to make the passion of love come alive in you.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek, as they raise your face to look into his eyes, eyes that will be filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.
Beloved Groom:
Please take your bride's hands in yours:
These are the hands that held yours today as she gave you her pledge to love you, and accepted your ring at your Wedding Mass.
These are the hands that are smooth and young and carefree now, but will become lined and rougher in the years ahead, from thousands of dishes washed, tons of laundry cleaned, and hundreds of meals prepared.
These are the hands that, God willing, will hold you in the joy and excitement, each time she says you are to have another child, that together you have created new life. These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness, disciplining them, diapering them, baking for them, praying for them, and wringing themselves in worry when trouble comes.
Perhaps these are the hands that will comfort you when you are told you cannot have a child and will convince you that together you can create new life in other ways.
These are the hands that through the years will caress your body in the passion of love. These are the hands that will tenderly hold your face and wipe tears from your eyes, in wonder and awe that you would cry for her.
Beloved Newly Weds:
These are the hands of the Sacrament of Matrimony. These four hands are your armor and shield against the evils of the world. These four hands are part of God's Plan for renewing His Church. These hands can reach out to the lonely and discouraged, bring hope to the destitute in mind and body, heal the abused and hurting children of the world, and teach your friends of wonders of married love. These hands are the hope of a troubled humanity. For these are the hands that can change the world. God Bless you today and each day of your married life.
*********************************
How many of knew when we were married that we had pcos, endometriosis, or were supposedly infertile? I didn't find out until eight months after I was married when I had surgery to remove cysts. That's when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis stage four and heard I could be infertile. Very painful and heartbreaking to hear this! I have been a teacher at a daycare for twenty years (and babysitting for years before that since age 13) and have always wanted my own children.
**********************************
"Perhaps these are the hands that will comfort you when you are told you cannot have a child and will convince you that together you can create new life in other ways."
I read that beautiful prayer again and found this part. It made me cry because eight months after we were married in 2007, we were told I had severe endometriosis stage 4 and I am probably infertile. I already had one surgery and I'm being sent to another surgeon for possible more surgery in March 2009! I was told the guy who did the first surgery did not do a very good job!
Question: how can a couple with infertility problems create new life in other ways that are within the teachings of the Catholic church??
In this cross that God has given us which has brought so many tears, I have learned what a wonderful Catholic man God has given me. My husband remains optimistic we will be blessed with a child while I get sad and discouraged often. My husband has given me a lot of comfort. Jesus and the Blessed Mother have also given me a lot of comfort from praying the rosary.
Also I have received some blessings. I have been sent some relics and prayer cards of St. Gianna Beretta Molla. Also a very holy priest from a famous Catholic college in the midwest ( He has a ministry praying over couples having trouble conceiving and has a 90 percent success rate) has recently prayed over us on the phone. So we are still praying and still hoping for a miracle.
Also, I've recieved the blessing of somehow being able to lose twenty three pounds so far and being put on progesterone, which is definitely helping.
Please pray for us - Ed and Maria N. thank you so much! We really appreciate it!
How do you ladies cope with this? Maybe I should buy a sewing machine and learn how to sew! What brand of sewing machine do you ladies recommend??
I LOVE your beautiful aprons Karey - you are so talented!
All of you ladies are in my thoughts and prayers.
prayrosary4life@aol.com
http://hailmaryfullofgrace-mt.blogspot.com/
Love,
Maria <----still praying for a miracle for all of us!
Sew - No, I haven't taken B6 since I first started charting over two years ago. I took it for a few months then stopped for some reason. So this is all me!
ReplyDeleteMaria - Have you checked the Bishops' website for approved treatments? It's very helpful: http://www.usccb.org/prolife/issues/nfp/
treatment.htm
Wow all this mucus on your own that's amazing!! Your body is doing something good!!
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful Christmas and a great time with your family!!
Merry Christmas. I know how difficult Christmas can be when you are dealing with infertility. Will be asking St. Anne's prayers for you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteI was actually diagnosed with PCOS by using the Creighton model in 2001. My husband and I are also Catholic. After conceiving two boys using monitored clomid cycles I became pregnant for the third time(a BIG SURPRISE even though we were still using the Creighton model) I am due next month with a girl.
ReplyDeleteBut if you indeed have PCOS I would highly recommend the Insulite PCOS System http:. //pcos.insulitelabs.com/ I also was following the diet recommended in Dr. Nancy Dunne's The Natural Diet Solution for PCOS and Infertility just to keep my PCOS symptoms under control. I really think my body was healed to the point that I became pregnant on my own.
You can also consult with Dr. Hilgers who helped to develop the Creighton Model at the Pope Paul VI Institute. He has helped many women with PCOS get pregnant.
Blessings,
Amy
Cycle day 18 - 19 doesn't seem late to me. Average is CD14, so 18 looks pretty good to me! I'm ovulating on like CD30+...that's late! When will you get back from your family visit? We're all going to look forward to your cycle update when you return. Wishin gyou a safe journey & a Merry Christmas!
ReplyDelete