Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Sad again

Still crying today. My temp dipped to 96.8 this morning, and I'm only four days post ovulation, if I even ovulated. That's crazy low. My temp doesn't ever get that low pre-ovulation. In other health-related news - my lower back on my left side has been killing me and I have been having terrible cramps off and on for the past few days - gastro-intestinal ones, not PMS - and my stomach has been upset.

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Our anniversary is shaping up to be a bad day. We have family and friends coming in for the NASCAR race this weekend so the house needs to be cleaned. My husband says he's going to take care of it (which is very sweet), but that still sucks because that means his time at home before going into work will be spent cleaning rather than doing something fun for our anniversary. And he can't do it today because he's fixing up the landscaping (I know, I shouldn't be complaining). And I'm not trying to be bratty and try to say we need some big celebration. My primary goal is getting my mind off of the fact that we have been trying to conceive for four years, so getting out and doing something would help that cause. Obviously I'm failing miserably at getting my mind off of it thus far.

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I just got a call from my Creighton instructor who I haven't spoken to in a few months. She's opening a new NaPro center somewhere (it's still a secret I guess so I can't say) and she wants me to make a DVD for them to use as a promotional tool. I really do feel as if I need to use my equipment, and my skills for that matter, for causes such as this. I believe that how I got my expensive equipment and even the idea for my movie was straight from God, so it would be selfish to say no to projects that promote life issues and the Church, and obviously I have a personal connection to NaPro and a desire to help promote it. I do really think this is all part of His plan for me. It's funny, though, because lately as soon as one big project is done (or at least the most stressful parts are behind me), a call comes to start something new. I'm getting to the point where I'm nervous about God has planned next! (Just kidding. Nervous is the last thing I should be if He is in control!) That being said, when is He going to give me time to promote my movie? I need to trust, I know, and I also know God is working on that for me, too. I guess I'll just have to pray.

5 comments:

  1. It would be wonderful if you made a movie that promoted NaPro. I didn't learn about NaPro or the Creighton Model until I happen upon your blog through Google Reader.

    I hope that you are able to have a good anniversary. Maybe the NaPro movie is God's way of helping to focus you on something other than the trying to conceive anniversary.

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  2. I am so sorry that you are struggling with sadness. I am praying for you. I've "lurked" and been reading your blog for awhile but wanted to comment and encourage you. God is already using your experience and story to encourage and inspire others, myself included, and that is a glorious, beautiful, and even hopeful thing.

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  3. i'm praying for you... i know you have a lot on your plate and are overwhelmed.
    hang in there... God is with you.

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  4. I feel your pain...literally. I have those same thoughts at times. I do feel that God may be calling you to do the movie promoting NaPro. Something needs to be made to get the word out there are NaPro. No one that I know has ever heard about it, which makes me feel even more isolated. May God give you guidance on this!

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  5. To answer your question...
    We decided to adopt when we had been married five years. At that point, Catholic Social Services would finally accept our application and I just had reached the point where I wanted to be a mom and adoption was the answer.
    If you go back to the beginning of my blog, you can read our adoption story if you like.
    I'm sorry you're feeling sad today...I understand what you're saying.
    May our dear Lord bless you with His strength and peace....

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