I have to admit I have a guilty pleasure of checking celebrity news logs and sites like people.com. Everyday, there are at least two new pregnancy announcements, dozens more updates, and even more stories about new mothers (which all seem to contain the quote, "I didn't know what happiness was until I became a mom." Ahhh! If I have to read that quote one more time...) It's a bad habit for reasons other than just seeing pregnant stars on them. Maybe I'll make it my New Years resolution to stop.
Lately I've been busy working on my documentary. It's been going really good and it's been getting my mind off of infertility. I might post a trailer for it on here soon. My husband put one together and he did a really great job.
I had a minor set back with my new hopeful attitude last night. I started to have anxiety about my upcoming surgery and cried for a little while. I know I don't have any reason to be nervous. It's just a fear of the unknown, although it's not entirely unknown since I had surgery there just a few months ago. I'm trying to give it up to God.
We also took the first step towards adoption in our new state. It's a little more expensive than it would have been in NY, and there's a wait just to have a homestudy. The woman told us there are about nine couples waiting to have that done, and many more waiting who have already completed the homestudy. The good part, though, is that once the homestudy is complete you could be chosen by a mother at any time. We have to send pictures and information that they choose from. So I told my husband that we might have an upper hand since he's really cute! First we have to fill out some initial paperwork and send it in. We've only gotten past this stage once, so we'll see if we really do it. I'd like to begin the process before my surgery so I know in the back of my mind that it's an option. I think it will make it easier if I don't get pregnant right away, knowing the process is already a few months along.
So the rest of my day consists of baking cupcakes, which I'm very excited about! I am making several different varieties for my family for Christmas. It started out that I was going to make them instead of spending a ton of money on presents, since this is our first Christmas since switching over to a strict budget where we pay for everything in cash. But... it turns out the ingredients, supplies, test runs, etc. are going to cost me a lot more than normal presents would have. But they'll taste better! And I'm going to vow right now not to check any celebrity sites for the rest of the day. I have to start with small goals!