Hitting the road

Well we are heading north tonight. Actually it will be tomorrow, since Ryan doesn't get off of work until 12:30 a.m. Hopefully we'll get there around 8 tomorrow morning. 

I'm not sure how much blogging I'll be able to do while I'm there, because I don't like logging onto my blog from computers of those who may not know my blog exists. I don't mind if people find it, but I still try to be discrete. We're bringing our laptop which is on its last legs, so I might check in, but I at least will be checking other blogs from Ryan's iphone.

Tonight I'm packing and wrapping and looking forward to everything being done and being in the car on our way.

Sorry if you're sick of these, but here are two more aprons I finished:

This one is for my friend. I love the fabric, especially the skirt.

And this one is for my sister. 

I also made a little apron for Madeleine, but you'll have to wait for Beth to post a picture of it when she gets it!

And since I don't know when I'll be posting next, I thought I'd end with our Christmas card picture from this year. It even includes the kitties which I don't think I've ever posted pictures of before! The orange one is Carmie (a boy) and the black one is Jasper (a girl). As you can see, Jasper is crazy.

Have a blessed and merry Christmas!!

Gaudete! Rejoice!

This may come as a surprise to you, but I don't often rejoice. I mean, really rejoice. I get happy at times, moments of joy come once in a great while...but to actually take part in the act of rejoicing? I tend to think that I'm just a person that doesn't have reason to do much of that.

A positive pregnancy test - now that would be cause for some serious rejoicing. But so far, that experience has escaped me.

But today, on Gaudete Sunday, we light the pink candle - the one that always got me excited as a kid, and still does, out of habit - and rejoice. What about those of us whose lives seem dismal and bleak, who are on the outside looking in, who won't get what we want for Christmas?

As our priest said during his homily this morning, we all have reason to rejoice - the fact that Christ died on the cross so we can spend eternity in heaven is reason enough.

Usually, pointing to something so big and huge - like, you know, the afterlife - doesn't really sink in with me like it should. That sounds terrible, but I'm just being honest. It is not tangible to me, and my infertility is here and now. The idea of rejoicing in this very moment because I'll one day, God willing, get to heaven doesn't make me mourn not having a baby any less. But, at least for today, I'm going to try to remember that I do have a reason to rejoice - and a BIG one, at that! We'll see how it goes.

On a completely different topic, I have some more aprons to show you. So WARNING - if you are one of my sisters or my mother and have found my blog and read it without my knowledge, I'd like you to stop reading because I'm about to show your Christmas presents. And I'd like you to feel really guilty if you keep on reading. And while you're at it, you should feel guilty for reading this without telling me in the first place!

Okay...

This apron is for my sister. I'm calling it (in my make-believe product line) the "Frankie" because a) that's her dog's name and so far all my aprons are named after the person-I'm-making-it-for's dog, b) it's similar to the "Sophie" but just a little different - just like the real-life Frankie (he's Sophie's real brother), and c) because I decided that while I'm naming all of my aprons girl names (for obvious reasons, of course - don't you know the apron naming rules?), Frankie can be a girl's name sometimes.

I'm a little nervous about it because it's a little eccentric, and it's not like I know she loves the fabrics or colors or anything. I was just drawn to them, but they don't really "match" in the traditional sense (although I think they match), so I went out and bought the cupcake fabric to bring them to together. I love it, but it's hard to make something for someone else. With this, I just made something I would like and I'm hoping her tastes are similar to mine, which they usually are.

I also didn't realize until I was completely finished that it's pretty short. It's a mini-skirt apron!


This one is for my mom. When I gave her an apron for her birthday she said that now she needed one for Christmas. I'm not ever sure if she remembers saying that, but she's getting one! If you're keeping track, this is still the "Sophie," but with a few additional embellishments.

I'm going to give it to her when we first get there on Monday so she can use it all during the week. 

Speaking of that, I am SO excited to go home! That is reason enough to rejoice!

Another apron!

I'm a sewing fool lately. After making an apron on Saturday, I made two pillows yesterday and a little pillow today. I definitely go in spurts, though. I better be in the sewing mood through Christmas since I have big plans to make aprons for several people.

Here are some shots of my latest creation:

Introducing the "Sophie" apron, part of my Fall 2008 Kitchen-wear line.

I picked the fabric to match my kitchen (and yes, that is actually my kitchen/dining room. Our house is pretty small, or, should I say "cozy"). 

You might not be able to tell, but the red embellishment on the skirt is tiny little red pom poms, and they look like cherries! So cute. I was so excited when I found it the other day. The light blue part on the skirt actually has words on it that says things like "family," "dwell," "peace," "gathering" and things like that. I love all the fabrics. It's just so hard to choose, which is why my style tends to incorporate several fabrics into one design. I absolutely love matching them all up.

So when I first made my mom's apron a couple weeks ago, I bought a pattern. I figured I'm a beginning sewer so I'd need it. I used it to cut out the initial shape, but then that was it. I discovered I hate following patterns (and this particular one wasn't well written. I don't mind my Amy Butler purse pattern because it's more conversational). I'm not surprised, since I paint but can't stand painting classes and have never really taken any. Maybe I have a problem with authority? I'm not sure! All I know is that my mind doesn't really work that way, with patterns and that sort of thing. I like to make it up as I go along. When it came to my apron, I just had an idea in mind and did it. That's why I love sewing - there are no rights or wrongs and you can make things so fast. I woke up this morning, decided I wanted a little pillow, and had it by eleven!

Speaking of the pillows, here's a shot of them:

That's my arm and leg, and Sophie Belle, of course, and the Infant of Prague is making an appearance in the background.

Well, I'm off to watch a movie. And for a quick cycle update - I've had a little bit of mucus today and yesterday (10 cloudy, pasty yesterday and 6 cloudy, pasty today) and also this morning my temp shot up from 98.1 to 98.6. I hope these are all normal things.

Have a great night!

A project, an update, and a cool offer

I know, nice title. In case you couldn't guess, it's kind of a hodge podge today, so here goes...

I've been working on an apron for a while now. Actually, I've been walking by the fabric that I had laid out on our guest bed for nearly a month, deciding which combination to use. I'm not exactly a good decision maker. Making the apron was actually the easy part and I'm happy with the result:

I sort of modeled it after one I saw at Anthropologie, my favorite store I can't shop at. I wish it was mine, but it's actually going in a box and being shipped to NY for my mother tomorrow. It's for her birthday, for which I am now only two months and one week over due. 

Oh, and there's our black kitty, Jasper, on the table in the picture. She's also rubbing her head on my face and walking across my hands as I type this, so she must know I'm talking about her.

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So I've been feeling pretty well lately, and it must be hormone related because I never feel well for no good reason. Is that even possible? I'll take it though. I'm on cycle day 13, and today is my fourth day of mucus. So far, so good.

When I say I've been feeling good, I mean emotionally. Physically, I've been having pain on both sides, where I imagine my ovaries to be. Not bad, but it's there. Ovulation should be coming soon, so I'm hoping that's what it's all about.

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Lately I've been spending some time helping my sister look for bridesmaids dresses, online for now since she lives in CA (oh, and did I mention they've moved the wedding up to this July?). In my searching, I came across this (WAIT! Before clicking on the link, you need these instructions: scroll all the way down, look at the middle row and count seven up from the bottom. You can also click on the picture to make it larger).

Yes, that is yours truly and my beautiful wedding party (well, mostly-beautiful wedding party...just kidding). I forgot that I sent it in, and didn't think it'd be up there four years later! Anyways, I got a kick out of finding it. 

So do any of you have little-known-but-awesome bridesmaids dress designers you want to share with me? Something off the beaten path, not found in every single bridal shop? Not that our dresses can't be your average type, but those I don't need your help with. 

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Now for the cool offer...

I've mentioned St. Gianna on here before, and if you've ever checked out Shannon's blog then I'm sure you've heard of her as well. If you live anywhere near the shrine in Warminster, PA, and have ever thought about visiting, I highly recommend it. It's a small shrine, but so very powerful, and they have relics of hers - pairs of gloves that she wore. You can hold the gloves and even touch them to your stomach (or, should I say, in the vicinity of your womb, but you know what I mean). 

If you'd like to read more about her life and her path to sainthood, click here (and once there, check out the sub-menu on the left. There's a ton of information there). 

Even though St. Gianna isn't officially considered a patron saint of infertility, I feel like infertile women are drawn to her and have kind of taken her on as their own. And while St. Gianna didn't experience infertility in the way that I do, she did miscarry twice. She's also a great pro-life saint, since she made the extremely difficult choice of losing her own life in order to save the life of the child in her womb. Is there a better example of laying down your life for another? 

And if you can't make it to the shrine, Angela, who is on the shrine committee and is a sweetheart, has offered to send blessed prayer cards and medals - that been have touched St. Gianna's relic gloves - to anyone who would like them. If you're interested, you can email her at teacher527@hotmail.com. 

Isn't that so nice of her? Thanks, Angela!

The real victim of my infertility...

Because I have too much time on my hands and no little babies to do this for, my dog has to suffer this:



I made this dress for Sophie today (and she actually LOVES dressing up). If you are among those who have an aversion to dogs wearing clothes, forget this ever happened. I will say I never take her out of the house like this (except tonight when I drove her to see my husband at work). That makes it a little better, right?

So if you don't like cutesy dog stuff but were able to look past me sewing Sophie a dress (remember, I blame it on infertility), then maybe you shouldn't continue reading. Seriously. Keep any amount of respect you still have for me and don't read on.

Okay, if you're still here, let me just say that I blame what you are about to see on several factors: 1)The material was 60% off, 2) I had tons left after making Sophie's dress, and 3) it only took 15 minutes.

Okay, look at your own risk (don't say I didn't warn you).
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Please don't think less of me and I promise I'm not going to enter some mother/daughter dog photo contest or anything. I swear!

Our day at the beach

Today was a great day. We went to the beach AND I have officially lost 12 pounds. I know, I shouldn't have complained this past week about not losing any weight. It must have been the bloating and it all worked out in the end (hmmm..maybe that was a little mini-lesson for me).

So back to the beach. We've never lived so close to the ocean before, so we are determined to take advantage of it. And we thought it would help to lift both of our spirits (my husband is sad he can't go on his annual nascar trip next weekend). We had a great time... except when I got a call from my doctor's office telling me they needed to reschedule my appointment for a week later. Ahhhh! Anyone who has read my recent posts knows I am counting down the days to this appointment. I got really upset at first, but now I'm resigned to it. What else can I do?

So the highlight of the day: I'm laying on the beach and all of a sudden my husband yelled my name. I looked up, knowing from the tone of this voice that he saw someone we knew. I was thinking, 'Oh great, it's probably one of his co-workers and I have no make-up on.' But guess who he recognized that was walking right by us? Ell.iot Yam.in! For those who are not American Idol fans, he was on the show the season before last. Here he is as I stalked him walking down the beach with my cell phone camera (he's on the right):

Just in case any of you are serious fans of his and happen to know that he was somewhere else today (and, honestly, that would just be plain weird, no offense).. I am not 100% sure it was him, but I am 99.999% sure. I didn't go up to him because a) I didn't want to annoy him and b) I had no make-up on. I know, I'm sure he wouldn't have noticed or cared. I just have a complex.

Since I'm showing pictures... Today I actually wore something I sewed. That's right - I made a skirt! For someone who has never sewn their whole life, it's pretty cool to wear something you made in public! So I had my husband take a picture of me:

Not bad, right? It looks like I could have bought it, if I say so myself (although if you inspected it inside-out, you'd probably figure out that it was made by a beginner). And the Amy Butler fabric I used to make it was on sale, so that was a bonus. And I didn't use a pattern. I basically just modeled it after two skirts I have. Cheap and designed to my liking. You can't beat it! Oh, if I had kids, I would totally sew their clothes! But since I do not, my dog is next in line. Just wait for those pictures...

Okay, one more picture. This is a little tote bag I made for my goddaughter. I also didn't use a pattern for this, but it was a lot easier than I thought it would be:


So that's it for today. I know, it was riveting. Oh, one more thing - I officially posted my infertility history on the right side. I really like when I see that on other blogs because it's just easy to reference, whether you're new to the blog or you forgot what their story is. Writing it was like a little trip down memory lane. It really served as a reminder of how much we've been though these last three (almost four) years, mainly because it's so long. But it also reminded me that I've never had any real chance at conceiving.. at least not yet. So it's not like it just hasn't happened all these years. We actually haven't even begun having a chance. But we will soon!

Arts and crafts time

Okay, so this doesn't have much to do with infertility.. but a friend of mine gave me the idea to sew a purse the other day so I set out to do so. I don't know if you knew this, but there's a whole world out there of really trendy sewing patterns and fabrics! I liked picking fabric before, so imagine my excitement at finding out some stores sell really cool fabric (I'm new to sewing, can't you tell?). This purse is an Amy Butler pattern. And if you're into this sort of thing, have you seen this site? That woman is my new favorite person. I'd like to move in with her family.

Anyways, here's my purse:



Well, it's not my purse.. I made it for my sister. Her birthday was Monday. I hope she likes it (and I hope she doesn't know about this blog!). I went pretty colorful with it, but the outside is pretty tame, especially if you remove the bow.

Here's the inside (it's reversible):



Now I have to make one for myself, and my other sister and it might make a good mother's day gift... I have a feeling I'm going to be making more of these.