Christmas side effects

So I spent Christmas night on the bathroom floor writhing in pain, trying to puke (and, I might add, it seems like a fitting way to cap off the roughest year of my life).

It had to be a side effect from taking the Endometrin. I started it on peak +3, which was Christmas. I took one dose (100 mg) in the morning and another at night and was fine during the day, except for feeling drowsy. But at night, shortly after my second dose, I started feeling terribly nauseous. Then, a few minutes later, awful cramping started. It wasn't exactly like endometriosis pain I've experienced in the past (this was higher, possibly my intestines or even my stomach convulsing) yet it was nearly just as bad. And that's bad.

It came and went in waves and I would have been screaming in pain if I hadn't been at Ryan's parents' house, with everyone else soundly asleep. I finally went in to the bathroom, hoping to throw up to relieve the pain. I didn't, though, and after sitting on the bathroom floor for a while, I remembered I had some Tums. After taking two of those, the worst was over.

I didn't exactly eat all that healthy during the day, but I have no doubt the cramping was from the Endometrin and not due to food. I looked on the information packet that came with it and saw that 12% of people who take it experience abdominal cramping. That's a pretty high percentage when you think about it.

That night I swore I would never take it again, but by the next morning I decided to keep going with it. I took only one dose on the 26th (before bed), just to ease back into it, and didn't feel sick. I'll take both doses today; I did the first this morning and felt fine.

Nothing much else going on. I talked to Dr. B on Christmas Eve about my thyroid results (tsh - 0.02, normal: .40-4.5; t3 – 294, normal: 230-420; t4 – 0.6, normal: 0.8-1.8). He, too, said they were normal (the t4 seems low to me, but I trust him that a little lower than normal must not matter). And, the good doctor that he is, he trusted my gut instincts that I needed more synthroid and said I could go back to the dose I was on this summer (it was cut in half in August and I have had some symptoms ever since then).

I also asked him about possibly having a pituitary problem, rather than just coincidentally having issues with my thyroid, adrenals and prolactin output. He said he does suspect that I have an issue in my brain somewhere between my pituitary and my hypothalamus, but that there is really nothing than can be done about it (other than treating the separate issues like we already are, I'm assuming). He also said there is very little known about this part of the brain and while research is currently underway around the country, it's just not there yet.

I can't wait to hear what Dr. S thinks about all of this.

In other news, we just got home from spending Christmas with Ryan's family. We had a great visit and I wasn't totally depressed for a few days, which is always nice.

It at least felt like Christmas while we were there, since it sure doesn't feel like it at our house. This is the first year in my whole entire life that I didn't have a Christmas tree. Or any lights outside. I guess I have just been so depressed about not being a mother than I didn't even have the energy to go through the motions. And for the first time in our marriage, neither did Ryan (I'm really dragging him down!). And it didn't even bother me, because I really felt like it was a true reflection of our life right now - barren. It felt extremely fitting.

And while it might have been okay for Advent, I really need to muster up some joy for the Christmas season. I'll try. It'll help if I don't have terrible stomach cramping this week!