"Are they always this good with each other?" she asked, surprised.
"Ya, I guess," I said, realizing I hadn't ever given it much thought. "They never really fight and if they both want the same thing, or Clara gives Luke a little push or something, she immediately seems to feel bad and gives him a kiss."
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| Going in for the kiss |
I felt weird saying my kids got along so well. Was I glossing over the bad? Had I missed their fighting? No, I was fairly confident I would have noticed it.
Later that night as I was going over the conversation with Ryan, we remembered a few other people had recently pointed it out as well. So I started thinking - were my kids angels? Or was one of them an angel? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Luke was a normal one-year-old boy who likes to barge in and take whatever he wants, and Clara was extremely patient with him. He would come right up to her and steal her sippy cup or toy, and she would just let him have it.
The reason there was no fighting was all because of Clara. My sweet, patient Clara.
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| Sharing with her baby bro |
Well, those days are over. Give her a dose of a nasty virus plus a double ear infection and barely any sleep for a few weeks and the girl is fighting back. At least for now, she is no longer turning the other cheek and kissing her baby brother on the head when he steals her toy. She is cranky and fed up.
And that means my kids are crazy. Ca-ray-zee. They fight all day long. Whatever toy one of them is playing with, the other wants it, tries to get it, a battle ensues and both end up crying, screaming and pushing.
I'm not sure how to handle it because a) I usually don't know who started it, b) Luke's not even a year-and-a-half and our pediatrician swears he won't "get" time-out, c) I think she has a point because all the kid does is laugh when he's in trouble, and d) I gave up yelling for Lent. Any suggestions?
I'm not sure how to handle it because a) I usually don't know who started it, b) Luke's not even a year-and-a-half and our pediatrician swears he won't "get" time-out, c) I think she has a point because all the kid does is laugh when he's in trouble, and d) I gave up yelling for Lent. Any suggestions?
Today, Ryan had them outside blowing bubbles while I made lunch and I could hear him start to yell. It turns out they both wanted a stick and they ended up wrestling on the ground. My babies! Is it bad that the mental picture actually makes me chuckle? It probably wouldn't if I'd been the one with them at the time.
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| This one is FULL of it lately (and his eye is infected here, in case you noticed) |
I'm hoping this will pass when Clara feels 100-percent again. I'm hoping she goes back to being this ridiculously understanding two-year-old who gets that Luke's a baby and she's the big girl. I'm hoping she starts just kissing him again when he wrongs her.
But I'm not holding my breath.
So by the time I realized I had a very patient two-year-old, her patience had run out. I don't blame her. I never had a little brother, but I can imagine they're not all sunshine and roses. Well, our Bruisey is pretty sunshine-y. And, seriously, how can you not share with this sweet ginger...
Yes, she'll be back under his spell in no time ;)
Yes, she'll be back under his spell in no time ;)
Too cute!! I really hope sweet patient Clara comes back once she feels Better. As a matter of fact I really think she wil.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I dread those days. And I know they're coming eventually. Hopefully yours will end soon!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure she will be back:). Addy is my sweet, patient one and Jax is my bulldozer. I do NOT look forward to the day Addy decides she wants to fight back! Oh, and as far as time-outs - we HAVE to use them for Jax. He just laughs when he gets into trouble, so a one minute time out gets his attention. We put him in his pack n play in the guest room. He doesn't like being away from the action. And it gives us a quick break to compose ourselves if he's really made us angry:). Just a thought...
ReplyDeleteI did put him in time-out yesterday! Haha.. it was so cute ;) I'm going to start doing it more because you're right.. it lets them know something is up. And you know, L knows what's going on. He watches Clara go in time out every day. The more I think about this, the more I think he's definitely getting time-outs!
DeleteAwe, I'm sure it's because she's been feeling sick! That's so crazy to think she gas been so patient up until this point actually! I don't know many toddlers that are like that! ;)
ReplyDeletePs-love the pictures!
I was thinking at the beginning of your post that maybe my kids will be all sunshine and roses to each other forever too, since Isabella loves her little brother and will do just about anything to make him happy. Then, I hear reality set in. Bummer! I hope it is just Clara being sick and they are back to living happily ever after again soon!
ReplyDeleteStory of my life ;)
ReplyDeleteAww!
ReplyDeleteI don't know if this will work with kids as young as yours, but one technique my sister started using was not trying to solve the sibling arguments for them (or referee). Especially because it was often hard to tell "who started it." She would just say, "If you can't get along/work something out with each other on your own, then we'll have to put this toy away and play with something else/do something else." It forced the kids to problem solve between themselves, took the "power" away to interrupt mommy's peace/call on mommy/tattle to mommy, and she would often find them making up on their own. Now, if she sees one child being blatantly mean/unfair to another, she wouldn't just let that slide. But yeah, that technique may work a lot better with kids a little older?
Thanks, Sarah! I'm going to do that. I kind of do that now, mainly because I'm usually not sure who started it. And I can see how it would work better with older kids (even the differences between one and two are amazing.. I find myself disciplining Clara even when it's not her fault, because she at least knows what I'm saying!), but I might as well start now, even if only to train myself!
DeleteMy sons got on together very well - they are fourteen months apart. One of the things I did to facilitate this was to STEP BACK! If they were having a tussle, I noticed when the younger one was about a year old, that they would both look at me to see if I was going to step in. I did not and therefore they had to figure out how they were going to solve things on their own.
ReplyDeleteThere was probably a time or two when I did step in, but for the most part, their realization that they had to work out their differences by themselves made them great buddies.
They, at eighteen and nineteen, are still very nice to one another and they are pleasant to be around. They never did go through the physical fighting or craziness that a lot of siblings do.
I think that not getting in the middle of things (unless there is actual blood and mayhem) is the reason they are so congenial with one another and others.
It sounds as though your two are doing splendidly well - and once Clara finishes having her cranky bit, they will go back to being compatible. Trust them! ( - :
I like that.. because that's kind of what I was already doing, just not on purpose. More because I'm sometimes oblivious ;) But I now it will be on purpose!
DeleteYou gave up yelling for Lent? :) I had to chuckle when I read that! hehe
ReplyDeleteWell, after today it's more like "working on" than "giving up" ;)
DeleteOh precious!!! My kids fight like banshees. I try not to referee unless they're crazed and going to truly hurt each other.
ReplyDeleteOooh, I didn't read the comments. I see someone already suggested that. It really does help me.
DeleteI definately appreciate the giving up yelling for Lent. I've recently discovered "get off your butt parenting" (gyobparenting.com) and it's so simple..just tricky with a babe-in-arms along with the other 2 (3 under 3.5 years). Well worth the try though!
ReplyDelete