It only took me about two months, a huge weight gain, a very weird cycle, and lots of fatigue mixed with some energy at rather odd times to take the leap. But I called Monday and left a message, not expecting to hear back from a nurse for a while since I know my doctor is very busy and not always in the office.
But he woke me up with a call yesterday and I was ecstatic.
At my request, he is switching me to compounded progesterone. I haven't picked it up yet, but I'm pretty sure he said I'll take it orally, twice a week post-peak. Is anyone familiar with that kind?
I also asked (finally) about taking armour instead of synthroid and he is all for it. I was actually surprised to hear that 70-percent of his hypothyroid patients are on it. I knew he prescribed it, but I didn't know I was actually in the minority in that I didn't take it. He said about once a year there's a shortage and when there is, he doesn't like to start people on it. So when I first came in years ago it might have during one of those times. I also wonder if he never put me on it because I came to him both times (during infertility and recently, post-having-Luke) already taking thyroid medication and he just didn't switch it up.
I mentioned my recent huge weight gain and he said to start taking a low dose of DHEA. Anyone have experience with this?
I also asked about taking HCG and, again, he was definitely open to it (I love my doctor!). He said he wants to try to new progesterone for a couple cycles first, and if that doesn't lengthen the luteal phase and help with PMS, then we'll switch to HCG.
Speaking of my luteal phase, that was all sorts of messed up this time around. It was so bad that I'm actually proud of myself for not coming here and writing all about how I'm never going to conceive again. It's apparently a new monthly tradition.
This time around I started spotting on peak plus 8. I've never done that before. I spotted for four days, had one day of a period (or something that briefly resembled it), followed by four more days of spotting. What?!
Another interesting thing about this past cycle was it was the first time since October that I didn't have bad instestinal-like cramps a week after ovulation (although that's probably because I was already spotting by then!).
I told Dr. B about everything and he thinks the cramping is due to the low progesterone causing my colon to cramp, and he actually suggested a laxative to counteract that. Have you ever heard of doing that? I probably won't try it, because honestly I don't care about the cramping, I only care about whether it's a sign of something that's getting in the way of pregnancy. The low progesterone likely is, and we'll hopefully fix that. I'm just thankful it wasn't an immediate red flag to him of some other bigger problem.
He also thinks the reason I didn't cramp this time around is because I most likely didn't ovulate. Is it weird that the thought of that actually makes me excited?
I think I'd rather things be noticeably messed up, rather than everything appearing normal and still not working. And having an anovulatory cycle makes me think that maybe, just maybe, my cycles are off due to breastfeeding.
Oh, please let my cycles be off due to breastfeeding!
And it suddenly makes a ton of sense because I actually had high levels of prolactin during infertility! Follow me here... prolactin is what rises during breastfeeding and keeps many women from conceiving while they're nursing. So let's assume those women who are able to conceive while breastfeeding perhaps don't have super high prolactin levels. Maybe they're higher than normal, but not so high that they are infertile. But... if mine was high before breastfeeding, it's also safe to assume it would be high while breastfeeding. And hopefully high prolactin is what's keeping me from getting pregnant.
I actually didn't ask Dr. B about that, so that theory is all made up by me. But it makes sense, right?
So, the big question remains - do I stop breastfeeding? I'm still doing it, on average, four times a day. And he still appears to love it. He asks for it by lifting up my shirt and even still gets that intoxicated baby look.
I know him loving it doesn't mean I can't wean him, but it just makes the decision all the more difficult. And he's not the only one who's into it. I love breastfeeding. I love it and fear it will be the last time I get to do it. I know I should be thankful I was able to do it at all, and I am, but it's still hard to see it come to an end.
One person who'd love to see it stop is Clara. She can't stand when my shirt is up and comes right up to me and pulls it down. "Down, Mommy! Shirt down!" she says. At first it was just when I would leave it up when I wasn't sure if Luke was done, but now she sometimes does it mid-nursing. Oh our Little Miss Modesty.
I'm going to pray about what to do about breastfeeding. I just cannot decide. I'm leaning towards continuing, but then I think about time and my age, and all those things that bring with them anxiety.
The anxiety of secondary infertility is creeping in a lot lately. Especially at night when I'm trying to sleep. Something about that 35 number. It's really getting to me.
But I know that's not of God. I need to give it all up to Him. I have a (sort of) plan, and we'll give it a few more months. Then I'll start freaking out ;)
I'll leave you with a photo, since cycle update posts aren't very visual, and I like visual. Here's the little nurser himself, probably saying, "Please don't tell my mama to stop nursing me! Cut a baby a break!"...