Antsy

So I am on cycle day 19 and it's peak +3. I definitely felt a hormonal shift yesterday. I became extremely antsy, bored and just generally agitated. Not to mention totally hungry. Well, not really hungry as much as I just want to keep eating all day long.

Oh, I've eaten so much the last two days. And when I'm not eating, I'm thinking about eating. And staring at the clock, hoping time goes quickly so I can eat again. I found a new multigrain cereal I can have and I think I'm eating three to four bowls a day. It's not low carb if you eat that much!!

Don't get me wrong, I love food and always love eating, but usually when I'm home alone I don't have to lock the cupboards. I can even go for hours (probably too many) after waking up before I feel like eating. So this is definitely different for me.

I think the eating is a result of the boredom. And, wow, am I ever thankful that I'm not always bored like this. It's horrible. I sometimes read posts from some of you stay-at-home wives where you complain about being bored and I always think, "I have no idea what they're talking about! I love having nothing to do!" Well, that has all changed this week. And nothing is different. It's not like I was busy before and now I'm not. I just suddenly have become super bored and I am going out of my mind. And, for what it's worth, I'm also unable to get comfortable. I hate that.

My antsyness the last two days has also led me to obsessively check blogs, face.book, and email, one right after another, over and over and over (with peo.ple.com and tm.z thrown in there once in a while for good measure). I find myself wondering why no one is updating anything. Don't you people at work have time to waste? Update your status for goodness sakes! Now you know why I limited my internet time during Lent.

Seriously though, I think my obsession with checking things online is due to my desire to have human interaction. It's lonely being home all alone for so many hours, especially when your dog wants nothing to do with you. Not to mention when you're already depressed and trying not to focus on what's missing from your life. I get so excited to see an email in my inbox that it's really pathetic.

Speaking of Sophie, I kind of made a bad decision regarding her grooming. We don't really have the money to have her professionally groomed at the moment, yet her hair is getting long and matted. Really matted, and it's very difficult to find ticks on her (which I'm nervous are there because I found one recently). So what did I do? I decided to try to do it myself. With scissors. Bad, bad decision:


I'm such a bad mother! I cut around her face, ears and neck and, let me tell you, it was a struggle. The poor, poor thing. I couldn't even walk her today because it's just too embarrassing. For her and for me.

It took me two days to do this damage, so to finish it would probably take several more, not to mention I'm sure I'd get bitten in the process. My house if full of dog hair and Sophie hates me. I don't want to be the bad guy.

So I guess our only choice is to bite the bullet and get her groomed (although I'm making Ryan take her because I'm too embarrassed!) and it looks like the old credit card will be put to use. Either that or we'll just have to eat less this pay period. And it doesn't look like that's happening!