Taking it easy

Today was a big day. I made it to the grocery store - with Clara!

I know that doesn't sound like much, but for the last several weeks, my days pretty much consisted of lying in bed for several hours with nausea, only getting up to eat (the nausea turned into painful hunger just about every hour) and feed Clara. Nothing was getting done, at least not by me.

Let me just say that Ryan has been Super-Husband. He does the laundry, grocery shops, vacuums, mopped the kitchen floor, does the dishes quite often, bathes Clara, and even woke in the night with her early on in my pregnancy (thank God she is sleeping through now). I should also add that he waits on me hand and foot and has never said 'no' to any take-out request I've had (that's huge).

I appreciate all he has done more than words can say, but at the same time, I feel like a failure that he has to do so much. It just seems like most pregnant women, including many fellow bloggers, work full-time jobs, shop and clean, despite any sickness or fatigue. And yet a big day for me is when I make it to the couch before noon.

I know it's a luxury that I am able to lay in bed with my not-yet-mobile five-month old and I am thankful for every minute of it (it is nice). But sometimes the guilt of seeing my dirty house and over-worked husband begins to take away from the luxury of it.

Although then I remember how the fog suddenly lifted one day last week and I actually had energy (I just knew immediately upon waking up that I would be able to take on the grocery store, and I did). That says to me that when I can't get anything done, I really can't. I wonder if maybe some of it is the old adrenals coming back to haunt me. But then again, everyone's tired in the first trimester, right?

And I also tell myself that while it may seem like most other pregnant women have it all under control, perhaps they just don't advertise that they aren't perfect, and maybe I'm not all that abnormal. Then again, that's probably just me trying to make myself feel better!

So I did make it to the grocery store today because I pushed myself (that, and morning sickness is mostly gone). I'm hopefully turning a corner now that the second trimester is near, and grocery shopping (as well as cleaning and cooking) can be part of my routine again (who am I kidding.. it's not like I actually look forward to that!). After all, it can't be all bad when I have this little face staring back at me from the cart:



Okay one more. This was her after the shopping trip. She loves that she can now grip her link toy, so much so that she fell asleep holding it!



So for now I will take each day as it comes, do what I can, continue to thank God that I'm even in this situation, and be grateful I have a husband who picks up my slack. Thanks, honey! You're the best!