With Clara only a few months away from turning two, I think about her education often, and Luke's as well. Here's where we stand right now: I would love for her to attend a Catholic school, but we can't afford tuition (especially since we'll have two going back-to-back). I would like to homeschool, but don't think I'm cut out for it. And despite having attended public school from kindergarten through twelfth grade myself, a public education makes me nervous for a few reasons (some of which might not be rational, I will admit, but based on very personal experiences), not the least of which is the liberal agenda that I believe many public school educations include. That all being said, I have a number of thoughts swirling around in my head and I figured my blog was a great place to jot them down. I will, though, add that I am not debating different forms of education here. I'm just sorting through my thoughts as we make a very personal decision for our children.
The problem with that is I wish with every fiber of my being that I could be one of them. And I've seriously contemplated trying - my tentative plan (based on nothing but my own hair-brained idea) is to homeschool Clara for preschool and then do a year of homeschool kindergarten the year before she would actually start kindergarten. She has a December birthday, so she'll start late anyways, so it would be a way to see if I could hack it.
But I'm starting to wonder if homeschooling is going to be possible.
Here's why...
First off, I hate reading. I know I'm in the minority and it's even taboo to admit that (I'm sure some of you will immediately think less of me!), but it's the truth. I can't concentrate enough to read and I don't feel like I retain anything. It causes me great stress, therefore I don't do it. Once a year (or, probably more accurately, once every other year) I'll read a book (fiction) and love it, but that's it.
So... not only does not being an avid reader make it difficult to prepare (I can't imagine reading books on how to homeschool), but how am I supposed to turn my kids on to reading? I shouldn't be the one teaching them about books. I don't want them to be like me. Life is easier for those who loves to read (or at least that's what I assume). And honestly, I don't know anything about literature, so there goes that.
Second, I am unmotivated, scatterbrained and continuously fatigued. I don't have any sort of routine and I tend to do things whenever I happen to remember to. I can't imagine making sure we get everything done we have to do, especially with (God willing) younger babies to tend to. I know so many others do it, but I don't think I can. I'm exhausted mothering two right now. I couldn't imagine these two, plus homeschooling an older sibling or two as well.
Third, I just don't think I'm smart enough. I used to be pretty smart when I was younger, but I swear I get less intelligent every year. I can't understand things like I used to. I listen to others talk and debate and I am just lost (or maybe it's that I'm disinterested?).
Fourth, I hated education. You know those people who get advanced degrees because they just love learning and hate the thought of leaving the academic world? Ya, that's not me. I always did great in school, always near the top, if not the top of my class, but I hated every minute of it (well, everything besides socialization). I just didn't like learning and couldn't wait to be finished with it. I would do homework at the absolute last minute and never study for tests. I can count on one hand the number of times I enjoyed learning (a couple semesters of high school math, come to mind). So with such a negative attitude about school, I just don't think I'm the best person to teach my children.
Fifth, even when I dream about homeschooling, I never see myself doing it for high school. Even on my good, confident days, it seems ridiculous to think I could teach them high school level classes. Yet, if you go by my reasons to not send them to public school (which I know I haven't really spelled out yet.. sorry!), then high school would be one of the most important times to homeschool. If I'm just going to have to send them to a public high school anyways (even if we could afford Catholic elementary school, there's no way we could afford high school), why am I bothering to homeschool at all?
So those are the reasons that come to mind tonight. Sometimes I think, "Okay, I can do this.. we'll just do our best version of it and it might not be perfect, but I'm sure I'm not the first person with my personality type to homeschool..." and then I read posts about homeschooling and realize I would be so out of my league. I don't understand the language. It makes my head spin. And shouldn't it get me excited?
You're probably reading this thinking, why is she even considering it then? Well, I want to homeschool. I want to be that person who can. I want my kids to be homeschooled. And until a couple days ago, I thought I could. I thought I could because I saw no other option. I was just going to do it.
But then I talked with my husband the other night, and he reminded me of his position on it - that he just doesn't want to put that on me. Well, that's nice of him but, again, I didn't see any other option.
Today, though, I thought about it more and more. Maybe I am trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. Maybe I'm not cut out for homeschooling. And maybe that's okay.
As soon as I let open that crack, the stress started to melt away. Maybe God has something different in mind for our family. Or maybe not. We'll just have to see where He leads us.
We have a lot of time to think about it. Maybe I'll eventually come to a place where I can homeschool. I don't know. But, in the meantime, I have a lot of time to pray we can somehow send them to Catholic school!
I totally understand what you are saying here! I wish I could offer some helpful suggestions but I am still trying to figure it out myself...I am glad Clara is older than Lucy so I can see what you decide to do first ;) Maybe we'll have adrenal fatigue figured out by then, haha!
ReplyDeleteyou know there are fixes for adrenal fatigue right? ;)
ReplyDeleteFirst being a product of home schooling and having home schooling Mom's all around me let me say that there are SO MANY different kinds of home school moms! There are the kind that home school on a schedule like "regular" school with "recess" and "PE" and there then are the others, those that just get it done. Nothing fancy, no schedule but the actual learning does happen! And you know what? There is no wrong way to home school! That is the beauty of it!
I'm dyslexic, that will be a challenge for me when it comes to home schooling Alana but I will find a way around it. You are right it comes down to personal choice and what makes YOU, Dad and Mom happy and at peace. End of story, if that is at private or public school or if that is home schooled. It's very personal. I just dont' want you to think you "aren't cut out" for home schooling. I KNOW you can do it, you just have to find the curriculum and method that works for you!
And as for high school, I did my work on my own and my mom just checked it. The books have the subject all explained and you just read and answer the questions. I had issues with Math (because of my dyslexia) so I did run into issues there that Mom and Dad had to help me with but for the most part I did school on my own by high school. So actually high school is the easy part! haha
Oh and btw, they now have video's to help you teach advanced high school classes if you need them!
If you ever have questions I can get you in touch with some great home school mom's that would love to share their ways with you whether or not to choose to home school.
No matter what you'll have great kids, because they have great parents that love them and care so much about them! You inspire me daily!
I agree! All your points are my fears too! I retain information like a gnat.
ReplyDeleteDH I dont think takes me seriously when I talk about it. Truly I don't know where the desire comes from because I hated school. I hate to read because I think I'm a very slow reader and I usually fall asleep. ;)
Our plan is to take each year one at a time.
And one homeschoolinf mom said to me when u said I wasn't qualified is that the church says Iam qualified because I am her parent.
The last person to fail my kids is going to be me. I only want the best for her.
So no worries about your fears they are all of mine too!!! One year at a time.
I have a good dr to help with your fatigue ;). Because I no longer have chronic fatigue ;)- I'm also know a blogger that lives 2 hours from him and you know her too. ;)-
That comment is jacked up-I'm on my phone! ;)
ReplyDeleteI understand what you're saying here too; however, in my teacherly opinion, I think you need to keep in mind that homeschooling would be a full time job (in addition to all your household/motherly duties with younger ones- God willing). I know I personally could homeschool if I wanted, but I chose not to because of the time commitment (and stress!) I think it would cause me. I know we are all different in what we can handle and for me, I'd prefer to focus on a peaceful, clean, and organized home environment for my husband and family rather than lesson plans and always worrying I was teaching my children "enough". I think if I homeschooled that would be my priority and everything else would go out the window!
ReplyDeleteHaving taught in two Catholic schools in the area, I trust the teachers there and know they will do a very good job. I know a lot of people say that Catholic schools don't teach religion anymore, but I have to disagree. It is taught at school (one 30 minute class period/a day), but ultimately it is the parents' responsibility to raise their children in the faith. Even in 1st grade, I could tell which families made their faith a priority and which ones didn't. So that argument always has rubbed me the wrong way.
Also, I wouldn't worry about the tuition. If you are going to take it year by year, then apply for the scholarships available each year and just pray your heart out that you get one. You are an active member of the parish (and especially if you told Fr. that you can only send your kids to the school if you got one!) he'd be ALL over it and you'd be SO IN.
This is just my two cents because honestly, I LOVE Catholic schools! :)
I'm glad someone else is thinking about this early! I'm still pregnant and I'm already thinking about education for my child. Unlike you, I love education and I have a teaching degree, but believe me, that doesn't make homeschool any less daunting.
ReplyDeleteI had a public education and I loved it. I was in all the advanced classes and I know that is not something I would be able to give my children through homeschooling. In the areas I excelled in (and that I wanted to teach), I could offer a lot, but in the areas that are difficult for me, I don't know if I would be able to teach more than the basics.
I think your child can get the education you want them to get out of public school education if you are involved. I kept my conservative and religious beliefs throughout high school, even though that wasn't the norm, because I had some (and it wasn't all that much) backing at home. I had some difficulty in early college, but I think that is unavoidable.
But I believe if you want to homeschool, you'll be able to! You set an example for your children regarding education whether you are their primary teacher or not, and I don't think that it will harm them that you don't like to read (unless you specifically tell them that reading is horrible repeatedly!). I don't really ever remember my parents reading - I think my mom "likes" to read but never had the time for it when we were kids and my dad is dyslexic and almost can't read at all. But I love to read and they've always encouraged me to.
You'll figure out what is right for you and your family!
I always say, "Good Catholics come out of every 'system'" I am quite sure I could never homeschool and I'm ok with that. There is only one Catholic school in the area and it's a bit of a drive (and a bit of a dangerous drive in the winter), so while I'm sure we'll consider that for our kids someday, I'm not sure it's feasible. Then we have some Christian (and notably anti-Catholic) schools and of course public schools. I'm open to anything and will look at all these options.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people I know are driven by fear when choosing how to educate their children. I just think that how kids are raised at home is so much more important that through home life and lots of prayer, my kids will turn out just fine no matter what choice we make. And of course we'll be involved in their education no matter what, and that is important too.
Firstly, don't over-think this! Your kids are still so small and there is SO much time to think and pray about this. None of us homeschoolers start out with all the answers at the get-go. I have no clue how high school will look for us, let alone next year. We take things year by year and are constantly re-evaluating.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, don't sell yourself short on what you are capable of doing. I find this is the #1 fear of anyone I talk to that shows an interest in HS'ing: that they are not "smart enough". Nonsense! K-6th grade is not rocket science and really, it's quite fun to be learning right along with your kids.
Thirdly, I am not nor was I ever an avid reader either. It takes an awful lot of effort for me to get into a book--but once I do, I can't put it down. I consider myself learning right along with my kids when it comes to getting exposed to good literature. I didn't grow up with the standard classics, but I'm gradually, slowly, ever-so-incrementally learning as I go (from other moms and from online sources) which books are awesome and have timeless qualities about them. We are *becoming* a book-loving family and it's been a rather natural (believe it or not!) process.
Lastly, HS'ing requires a lot less time than you probably have in mind. Getting kids up, dressed, fed and shuttling kids to and from school every day and staying on top of homework AND serving on PTA boards would take way more effort than I'm willing to do. I work with my K-gartener probably 30-45min a day...1st grade maybe a full hour. By 6th grade, most HS'ers I know are able do most work on their own with a little direction from mom.
But let me also reassure you: there is more than one way to skin a cat. I am not a slave to curriculum (though I used to be). I let my kids PLAY and gently work with them on letters and numbers...but PLAY is a big part of a child's education too.
I have way more to say but I'll stop there. I'm not a homeschooling nazi and I don't think it's always the best choice for every family. We are re-evaluating every year we go along and I reserve the right to change my mind at any point.
I had a long reply written to you but blogger ate it. grrrrr.
ReplyDeleteYou sound exactly like I did when we decided to homeschool our children. We're beginning our 11th year and I still have doubts, but we're doing it.
Send me an email if you want to discuss with a "seasoned veteran." lol If you would prefer to chat, I'll send you my phone # and you can call anytime.
I am pretty much in alignment with GIMH on this topic. I am so glad I got the opportunity to teach, in both Catholic and public elementary schools, because it allowed me to see education in a new light.
ReplyDeleteI never thought of homeschooling before infertility. Never. But the longer I've had to actually daydream about when I do have kids, and where they'll go to school (I ALWAYS used to say they'd go to public school, since that's where I went!), the more I am leaning towards homeschooling myself. I am wondering if that's what God had in mind for my (non-existent!) family, and that's why He had me go into teaching BEFORE going into NaPro/Creighton work.
Anyway, I primarily wanted to comment on the high school thing. I have a couple of good friends who have older children and I've asked them about how do they teach things like AP Latin or Chemistry, etc. - and there are Home School Associations where there are teachers who work with your children remotely in high school. (Forgive me if you already know this.) So, you don't have to be the "expert" teaching them all of those specific subjects once they reach that age. They even have people to edit and grade your kids' term papers remotely. It actually sounds like there is LESS work involved for the homeschooling Mom once the kids are out of elementary school.
I'm still not sure what I will do for elementary school - I would lean toward public school since the curriculum is not quite as liberal as the middle and high school curriculums, BUT when Kindergarteners on the bus are learning some choice phrases and inappropriate topics from the 6th graders, it makes me nervous. (I still remember when and where I learned about the birds and the bees, and it wasn't from my mother.)
Um... this comment is really not helpful, is it? Sorry! :) I guess I'm still working this one out, myself.
Don't get me started on if God leads us to fostering older children... ugh!! Even tougher educational choices to make!!
You are so normal! Truly, these are all the fears of any mom considering homeschooling.
ReplyDeleteAs your kids grow and your life with them evolves, you will discern what God wants you to do with them for their education. One year at a time, and each child's personality will direct you.
There is A LOT of tuition help for families who really want a catholic education for their children. DON'T let money stop you from that option. I know families that have walked away without even trying to get help, and it makes me so sad. So if you go that route, don't be ashamed to ask for help. It can work!
Also, we did homeschool Mikey pre K and K and it was awesome! The memories will never leave me and he became a great, confident kid within those couple of years. Ultimately, because of his personality, we determined that he needed a school setting and it has worked beautifully for him. But you absolutely are capable of homeschooling your children if that is what God wants for your family.
I always used to want to be a homeschooling mom too, to say, "Yes, we homeschool!" But it was an ideal and I quickly learned not to parent based on ideals.
You are a wise woman and God will lead you in the right direction :)
AYWH - God can work through so many schooling situations. I think it's great you are starting to sort all this out in your head. I am sure there is a situation that will work for your children and their unique personalities and needs.
ReplyDeleteRegarding homeschooling... okay, I confess, I am in love with academia. But like you, my sense of structure and order and focus doesn't seem ideal for some projects. That said, I am in awe of watching my twin sister parent and school (who of course, is very similar to me lol). In the early years, homeschooling is like an extension of parenting... helping your kids process the world around them. And so much is tailored to your family and child.
The later years... maybe don't worry about that yet? Whatever you choose now for schooling doesn't have to be forever. A lot can change in a decade. Maybe there will be other schooling opportunities then or maybe you'll have found your homeschooling groove or maybe there will be a way to pay for private school (sometimes schools will give discounts for siblings close in age).
I am a teacher who hated school. I somehow ended up there. Lol my dear friend who is a homeschool mom told me that you are teaching your kids everyday. Kids learn more from infancy to age 5 then the ever learn in school and you're the teacher! Plus there are plenty of homeschooling groups you can join. It won't hurt the kids if you try it for awhile and decide it's not for you!
ReplyDeleteAnd one more thought! My Dh also does not like reading or school (even though he's plenty smart, a solid writer, and was always a good student! Just doesn't enjoy school). He was homeschooled until his junior year of high school and then attended Benedictine. From an academic standpoint, he *really* benefited from Benedictine... he needed to leave homeschooling. If either of your babies end up having a similar personality, they may eventually want or need to try out a "regular" school anyway? :) (Meanwhile, I am that girl who languished in a public high school and would have thrived off h-sing. Sigh. Haha). I think (one day) we personally plan on trying homeschooling for the early years, and playing the rest by ear. Fwiw. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way you do- especially the fatigue part! My son is just 2, but we have started thinking on it. I do have to say that Catholic schools are great. And, like GIMH said, you are the primary teacher of the faith in your home. Also, you can get scholarships if you are active in your parish (which you are).
ReplyDeleteI also think homeschooling makes more sense with larger families. Sometimes, I am saddened that with our infertility and thereby small family now, we might not get the opportunity to homeschool. I have to tell myself that's just not true and that HS can work with one, two or ten children.
I'd take it a day at a time and explore options. Most Catholic schools have open houses yearly. Attend one next time it comes up and go ahead and get some information on the school, the scholarship programs, etc. It's never too early to find out about these things. That too might help put your mind at ease!
There are some great curriculums out there that are designed for non-teacher moms, look at some of those, relax, and realize that YOU CAN DO THIS!
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing is the desire to homeschool. And you seem to have that in abundance.
I'll be praying for you, that you are at peace with whatever your final decision is.
Hit and run comment: I have homeschooled. I sucked at it (sorry). I think I am ADD. I tried again with one child, years later. It was even worse. I have my kids in both Catholic and charter schools now and I am satisfied.
ReplyDeleteI love and support homeschooling. I mean I would fight to the death if they ever tried to take away our rights to homeschool our children! But, for me, it just did not work out too well. It could be my own lack of discipline and virtue, true. But I have do go with my reality and circumstances, and I know that I can't do it well.
your post could've been written by me (except that I love to read but don't let myself b/c it quickly becomes an inescapable addiction!) We're trying to figure out how to school our 3 kids, 3 and under at the moment. Yikes. We've got another year or so to figure it out...
ReplyDeleteOne of the best pieces of advice I received while I was agonizing over our schooling choices was to remember that the decision we make doesn't have to be the one we stick with for the next 12 years - or even the next 12 months. Of course it's not a good idea to pull kids in and out of a different school environment every year, but realizing that we could try out an option then re-evaluate whether it was working for our family and change our minds took so much pressure off. And to realize that what's the right fit for our family now may not be the right fit 5 years from now, and that's okay. (I'm a planner so it's really hard for me to let go of that...) We just need to tune in to God and pray for him to make clear HIS will for us - which can be different for every family. God bless you in your discernment process!
ReplyDeleteYou got me going on a blog post, and I just put it up. Hope it helps.
ReplyDeleteK, God equips the called, He doesn't call the equipped. :)
ReplyDeleteDo what you feel the Lord is calling you to do.
We have said all along that we will do what Ella needs. I don't know what that will be yet, but I'm sure the Lord will provide.
With that said, I have been recenting attending the homeschooling mom's get together at our parish to learn more. Maybe there is one that you can get to, also?
Thanks for the truly awesome advice, everyone! You have calmed me down, and I think we have more options that I previously thought we did :)
ReplyDeleteK I think that homeschooling is a vocation that you are called to (or not). I'd say just discern and really pray over the next few years. If you are called to homeschool, God WILL give you what you need to do it. And like other commenters said, it's not like it's a permanent decision. You can homeschool kindergarten if you want and then decide to put her in. If it doesn't work out, you can take her out. I wouldn't worry about it ;)
ReplyDeletePS, if you ever do want to read any how-to homeschooling books, Real Learning by Elizabeth Foss is awesome!
I was surprised to find myself a home educator when my eldest son was in the middle of the seventh grade. I then pulled my two other sons out of school after their first and second grade years.
ReplyDeleteI was not prepared - well, I was, according to the state because I have a teaching certificate - but as far as preparation goes - none, zero, zip.
The day after pulling my seventh grader out of (a Catholic school no less), I went to the local home education book store in town and the owner and I talked. I told her I had NO idea as to what I was doing, what I needed to do ... and she listened and then went away and came back with two brown paper bags that someone had come in with the day before ...
They were seventh and eighth grade curriculum - perfect. She gave them to me and with that start, we began home educating.
Note I do not write home schooling - we did not replicate school. We did however, continue educating our sons - after all, who were their first educators? Us, their parents.
I made mistakes and I made good decisions with our education. The way we educated became a life style - we took our vacations when we wanted to - we took numerous field trips, we used many different methods of teaching them about life, first and foremost, and yes, reading, writing and arithmetic.
I followed Our Lady of Grace curriculum, finding it to be best suited to our family. I purchased used books off of different websites for our educational purposes.
Our eldest graduated (home educated) and is out on his own. Our middle son will graduate from the local high school this coming year and our youngest will graduate as a home educated young man.
Our two youngest sons are very close to one another - that is one thing that a school system, public or private, does not afford a family and that is family time. Our sons were educated in the same room - as well as had one another to hang out with.
We spent perhaps four hours a day in "formal" lessons - and the rest of the day was informal - chores were a priority (how I miss THOSE days!) as well as field trips and learning informally. We met with other home educating families and we were a Boy Scouting family - our middle son is now an Eagle scout and the youngest on his way to become one.
Home education is not for everyone - however, I loved it, even with my fears and my questioning - are they learning enough? what more do they need? how can I do this?
I have three wonderful sons and I believe one of the reasons why is because I they were educated at home for a large part of their education (the middle son went to high school in the ninth grade, as did the youngest, who is now back to home education)- and their characters were not battered down by a system that views them only by a g.p.a.
As far as thinking you will teach her at home for pre-school? Pre-school is WAY overrated and not necessary - what is necessary is exactly what she is doing today - being a little girl and enjoying her life. She will learn all the things that are taught in pre-school naturally without pushing her into "formal" education.
God Bless you!
K, there are so many options now, I bet you will have even more choices by the time Clara is school-aged. There are co-ops where you get together with other home schoolers a few days each week. There are complete curricula online or on DVD that you can use at home.
ReplyDeletePersonally I am so unstructured (due to my very easily-overwhelmed personality) that our schooling looks a lot like "unschooling" and wow, they continue to learn so much! Some things I still need to be in control of, so I use web-based programs or other resources I have found. It really need not be a book-heavy, exhausting endeavor. That said, I think it's important to pray and research the best choice for your family. But if homeschooling is on your heart, believe me, you can do it. Learning doesn't really have to be like school at all :)
As a homeschooling mother of soon to be 5 children, I want to say upfront that homeschooling isn't for everyone. You might like it, you might not. It might work for your family, it might not. Homeschooling is a vocation. There is nothing wrong with you if it isn't your vocation.
ReplyDeleteThat said, you may like it more than you think. So don't write anything off unless you feel you have a better plan. You can always change and do something different from one year to the next. Sometimes one form of education works for a year or two, and then it's time to switch things up. Go with your gut, and do rely on your husband--he knows you and your family very well.
As for unaffordable Catholic education, don't write that off until you have spoken to the Priest at your Parish (who I assume you know well)! Our parish school is very good with financial aid, and I know of a number of families that are paying very little compared to the cost of the school. Many couples donate part of their income for scholarships, and you can cut back on your giving/tithing if you are paying tuition. It literally brings our Pastor to tears when he hears of families like yours who write off Catholic school without ever having spoken to him about discounted tuition.
I had some of the same thoughts you have had. Then I found k12 (www.k12.com) and their public charter school virtual academies which allow me to not have to worry about finding curriculum or the cost, and guide me in teaching my children every step of the way. Today we started our second year (1st grade, 4th, and 7th). Check it out.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm in an extremely similar boat! I feel strongly against our local public schools, and Cathlolic school would be a challenge due to finances and location (closest one is 25 minute drive from home). So the thought of homeschooling has been growing in my heart lately. But I just don't know that I have it in me!!
ReplyDeleteThis post and ALL of the comments have been so helpful! I'll be bookmarking this for when the school reality gets a little closer.
I'll be praying for discernment for myself, as well as you and anyone else in this boat, too!