So yesterday was cycle day one for me. I handled it well. It's okay because I know God will take care of me. I'm not sure how, or what will happen but I know it will be okay eventually. That's a big improvement for me. I think not really having any hope of conceiving this past fall (after I found out how bad my endometriosis was) has helped me to not get too disappointed each month, even though I guess I have a good chance of conceiving now. (Notice I said "good" chance. That fact that I can admit that is an improvement!)
So tomorrow I have to call PPVI for a cycle review. I had a short cycle this time around - only 25 days (when I first started charting my cycles were 40+ days, but lately I've had some short ones, although this is the shortest). My peak day was somewhat normal for a change - day 17 - with about 10 days of mucus. Most importantly the mucus did not stop and start, it was pretty constant during that time. But... my luteal phase was only eight days. What does that mean? Here are the luteal phase lengths for my last eight cycles: 8, 3, 12, 9, 10, 8, 10 and 3 days. I read today that you need at least to days for implantation, so three of those cycles are long enough and five aren't. And I wonder what happened when it was only 3 days. And I wish I knew what my progesterone levels were. They were okay the last time they were tested - a year ago!! Ugh... I guess this is where my patience comes in again. I'll know exactly what's going on eventually. I just have to wait.
One thing that is definitely helping to take my mind off things is our new house. We've been painting for three days now and have about four more days of it to go. We'll officially move in this weekend. I even kept my cool today when things got pretty frustrating. It involved one of those automatic roller machines and a paint color I hated. You'd think being an artist that I would be good at picking colors but I'm awful.
If anyone gets a chance, could you say a quick prayer for me? I'm going to the dentist tomorrow for a couple fillings and I have major anxiety about it. I'm actually doing well, though, because I think God is giving me the grace to be calm about it. I just want it to be over!
***Thanks for your prayers! The dentist was MUCH better than I ever thought. I brought an hour and a half of music on my ipod, specifically songs to calm me down, and I didn't even make it through Tiny Dancer and she was already done drilling! Not even one complete song! Two more visits to go now...