As for my cycle, today is CD 25. Technically it is now CD 26 (the clock just turned to midnight but I think this post will register as Friday). And, as I said earlier, today is Peak+8. The bad news is this afternoon I briefly experienced some sensations that lead me to believe my period is on the way. The feeling only lasted a minute but it has never disappointed before (or, I should say, it always disappoints). So we will see. My temp was still up this morning, but since I am taking it for another reason (thyroid study) I don't really know enough about BBT to use that as evidence. But I guess I shouldn't over-analyze things. The most I can hope for is that I ovulated this month and that maybe, just maybe, my cycle will appear somewhat "normal" this time around. My body is healing, my ovaries are healing and this will happen in God's time.
I got an email today from someone who reminded me of a song that speaks volumes about what I need to do right now (thank you!). Here's a portion of it.
"Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
For some reason, this line always hits me the hardest: "I raise my hands and praise the God who gives And takes away." It may not seem like God has taken away anything from me, but I truly feel like He has. My dreams have been taken away. My fertility has been taken away. I know it might not be permanent, but right now it is real. But it's the praising of God through this that strikes me. I'm definitely not good at it and the thought that people do that is amazing to me. But if I get bad news in the next week, I'm going to give it my best shot.