33 week appointment

First of all, I can't thank you enough for your kind comments and emails on my last post. You made me feel so much better and I'm so grateful for your support.

Now, I'll apologize ahead of time because I'm afraid this may be a stream of consciousness post...

I had my worse back pain episode yet on Saturday. Is it just me, or does back pain make you insane? I think I've said it before, but it's no wonder people with chronic back pain have issues with becoming addicted to pain medication. Maybe I should start offering my discomfort up for them.

So Ryan won a free lunch cruise at work and we decided to use it on Saturday. Wow, big mistake. First, I had to ride two hours in the car to get to it, then two hours were spent on the boat, then a two hour ride back. Sitting, the whole time. Have I mentioned sitting is the worst for my pain? Laying down or even standing is much better.

Well the cruise was sort of cheesy, the food (which is why we really went.. I'll never pass up a free meal!) was pretty bad, and I was writhing in pain the entire time. And the feeling of being trapped.. on a boat.. was not great psychologically for me when all I wanted to do was get home and lie down. I cried as we walked back to the car. Ugh.

The night before the cruise and the night of the cruise were tough as well. It felt like I hardly slept, tossing and turning with back and side pain all night long (and, of course, peeing every hour). Yesterday was great though. I took it easy, was able to take a morning nap, and even when I went out (and sat for an hour at Mass), I was fine. And then I slept great last night, which leads me to believe my days and nights are definitely linked, for better or worse.

Today, at my 33 week OB appointment, I told my doctor about the pain and, of course, she said there's nothing much I can do. But when I mentioned not sleeping at night, and how it makes the pain worse the next day, she decided to prescribe me Ambien (which she said was perfectly safe for me and baby). We'll see if I decide to take it. I think I will if my back pain is especially bad at night.

I also asked about how everyone is surprised at how far along I am, based on the size of my belly. She assured me I am measuring just fine and am very "appropriately pregnant." I like that!

And the surprise of all surprises, I didn't gain any weight the past two weeks! But then I wondered, is that necessarily a good thing? The baby is supposedly gaining, which would mean either he didn't gain or I actually lost? Oh well, I'm not going to worry about it and just be happy I have no additional weight to add to my back's already large load.

I also asked more about the baby being breech and what that would mean in a few weeks (she already told me that she will most likely be able to tell at my 36-week appointment if he's still breech when she does that strep test.. apparently she'll be able to feel the head if he's head down). She said what typically happens is that they'll schedule a c-section for 39 weeks (my aunt, a L&D nurse, had already assured me they do an u/s right before the section in case he has turned) and, if possible, we'll discuss doing a version in the meantime. She didn't want to go into too much detail about the version, though, since it may not come to that and there are a lot of unknowns at the moment regarding it. I got the feeling she felt that discussing it might unnecessarily cause me to worry.

I have had a feeling of where the baby might be positioned as of late and asked her about it. At first she said I probably can't really tell, but the more I described his movement (or lack thereof in certain areas) and what I've been feeling, she thought it was a good sign. I used to feel kicks way down low (which were scary at first, like something was coming out of me!), but those have completely disappeared. For a few days last week I distinctly felt that he was transverse. When I felt any movement, I felt it across the entire top of my belly, from the left to the right, like a wave. Now, if I had to guess, I would say he's diagonal, with his feet on my upper right side. I told the doctor basically all of the movement I feel is in my upper right side, and she thought that was a great sign because you typically feel their feet rather than their head.

I know there's still a lot of time left, but we're just crossing our fingers and praying our hearts out that he turns himself (or has already).

I'll go back in two weeks and then after that my appointments become weekly. It's so crazy to think I'm almost to the point of weekly appointments!

On another topic, I'm starting to think about packing my hospital bag. In just about a month I'll be in the "zone" where it could possibly happen any day. I want to have the car seat purchased by then (well, we could use Clara's in a pinch) and my bag packed. We'll see if that really happens. Anyway, do any of you moms have any advice? At first I thought I wanted to get a cute pair of pajamas (I currently wear non-maternity shorts and tank tops to bed and they're getting uncomfortable!), but then I heard it's not practical and could get ruined (especially if you have a vaginal delivery). But I'm still thinking a robe might be good? Slippers? Please let me know what you brought, what worked, what didn't, etc., etc.

And in an answer to prayer, my mom found out she is getting time off of work to come down at Thanksgiving and stay for quite a while afterward (my dad will come and return home for a time to deal with work). I am so beyond excited. I am already dreaming of her helping with Clara in my last week of pregnancy, and, of course, after. We're so blessed!

Alright, Clara needs to eat so I'll wrap this up. Thanks so much for your prayers. Please know I am praying and offering up pain for all of you still waiting. You are never far from my thoughts.