Back in the swing of things

Things have been a little crazy (crazier?) lately around here.

Ryan found out last week he was going to Houston to cover the Final Four and - because I am in no way equipped to even attempt to be a single mother to two little ones for more than a day, much less a week - the babies and I spent the week in New York with my family.

Clara with my sister, C, and future-brother-in-law, J

Clara loves her uncle-to-be

We had a great time with my parents, my sister and her fiance. We even visited my mom, who's a school nurse, at work and paid a visit to my sister's pre-kindergarten class where Clara stole the show. The kids were so cute, swarming her and Clara never missed a beat. She was totally into the toys, but her very favorite things she discovered were those child-sized chairs. I guess there is something cool about finding something made just for your size when everything in the world so far has been way too big!

Clara and her great-grandfather, Poppa

Ryan had a great time in Houston too, and we're all back at home now.

Of course, sleep issues are still a big part of our life so I can't leave out an update about that.

Let me put it this way - Luke likes three things: My arms, nursing and being awake. Not necessarily in that order.

We are trying to embrace this, and not dwell on what he's not doing (i.e. sleeping, and sleeping in his crib). Infertility taught me that fighting something you have little control over just adds to the stress.

And yes, I have come to the conclusion that we have little control over his sleeping. We have tried it all. We've tried letting him cry (trust me, he would scream-blood curdling screams for hours if we let him), rocking (works once in a while, and even then it only works if he stays in my arms), and co-sleeping (uncomfortable for me, and the only way Luke likes it [literally sleeping in the crook of my arm all night] is probably not the safest form of this).

And I don't think it's anything physically wrong with him because he really is a very happy baby when he's awake. And he's a happy sleepy baby when he's in my arms. It's just that whole putting him down thing...

And in case you're wondering why I am not realizing that I've created an adorable little monster who never wants to be put down, I would remind you he was a pretty good sleeper up until three months. He even transitioned to his crib there for a while.

I've thought about it a lot and I think it comes down to this: Some babies are great sleepers, some babies can be trained, and some babies can't. At least not until they're ready.

Yes, I still often feel like a terrible, failure of a mother. But then I remember that Clara was a great sleeper, and we've tried everything with Luke and we have to sleep. I'm pretty sure it's extremely unhealthy to never sleep ever, and Ryan couldn't exactly keep a job on no sleep either.

So right now, he's sleeping with me in bed at night and I nurse him when he wakes. It is so incredibly uncomfortable though, and I don't know how much longer we can keep it up. I thought maybe I was doing it wrong, but nursing him on the bed at my parents' last week was heavenly, so I now know it's our mattress.

I also am a super-reluctant co-sleeper and I am praying we can find a way to get him into his crib soon. I've started adding the intention to my daily Rosary. At first I thought it was too trivial a matter, but then I decided my baby's health and well-being is never trivial. So Our Lady, if you hear me, please help my little non-sleeper!

Well the vibration and music just stopped on his little seat so he's awake and crying (I know! Bad habit to get into but when your baby doesn't sleep you do what you can).

Before I go, though, I wanted to share some pictures of our now four-and-a-half-month-old and 15-pound Luke. And he's modeling his adorable new Super Luke costume, which we purchased in this blogger's awesome auction!

Super Luke!

Faster than a speeding bullet

The man of steel!

His serious look works for this