Adjusting

I have access to the internet tonight!

I have to be honest, it's been quite an adjustment, but I think it'll get better. At the beginning, I was realizing each day what else I hadn't previously thought of that we'd now be missing out on (Skype, for instance). But then I realized that we'll live.

Cable has been a little difficult too. We're realizing first hand what I barely paid attention to the last year or so when it was all over the media - how atrocious the digital signal is. The government took away all the analog channels, which came in just fine, and left us Americans with digital ones that are nearly impossible to tune in with an antenna. Ryan spent yesterday on our roof, while I spent yesterday checking the signal strength of the channels for him while he moved the antenna box around. We ended up with a less-than-perfect signal that is much better than what we had earlier in the week, which was to the point of me turning the t.v. off it was so bad.

So as you can see, we're not okay with giving up t.v. completely. We did this knowing (or hoping) we could watch the over-the-air channels. While there really only are about ten to speak of (mostly PBSs), they are actually the true HD, a clearer picture than even cable provides and the audio is superior too. Now if we could just get them to come in.

I'm really not writing this to complain. I, surprisingly to even me, have a good attitude about it all. Like I said before, we'll survive. And I rarely give anything worthwhile up for Lent lately, so on some level I look at it as a much-needed sacrifice, and I have been offering it up when I get frustrated. It's like a test for us.. can we do it.. can we give up something that is so important in our lives. I want to see if we can. That it doesn't control us. Because it was really starting to seem that way. And, of course, there's the saving $100 a month thing. That helps.

Thank you so much for all your wonderfully supportive comments on this topic, by the way. They really made the transition easier.

Okay, that's it for the cable/internet blackout of 2010 update.

In other news, I've been having some anxiety. Things just seem to upset me easily and I can't handle it. I freak out and get really nervous. I'm trying to tell myself it's due to pregnancy, which I hope it is because that at least brings me some comfort (because no reason for it would scare me more, if that makes sense).

In my current anxious state, I've also been letting things really weigh on me, particularly a topic Sew posted about today. Lately when I hear or read about people not respecting life and fertility, using birth control, and assaulting the Church, it drives me absolutely nuts. I actually think I need to avoid discussions and debates about this topic altogether because I am so overwhelmed with worry and frustration over it that it's giving me anxiety. I feel like the devil himself is casting a dark cloud over so many, lying to them, tricking them into believing it's okay... that it's better than okay.. that it's a social responsibility on par with recycling. And their message is everywhere! On t.v., the internet (haha.. another reason to get rid of both), magazines, basically everywhere we turn. The people who preach safe sex act like they are the only ones on the planet, that there isn't even another side to the debate. It's so scary. Instead of safe sex, what about 'no sex'? Why is that not an option? Because we've accepted that people are just crazy animals who can't control themselves?

Okay.. enough about that! I'm getting worked up again!

I'll end on a positive note - I'm 16 weeks pregnant now (or, as some websites put it, I'm in my 17th week, which sounds even better!). I'm really hoping I start feeling the baby move soon. I think I will be in shock when I do!

Time to go to bed. Hopefully I'll get to post again soon..

And, of course, happy first Fathers' Day to my wonderful husband! We love you!