Getting better...slowly *updated*

I felt a lot better today, but tonight, well, not so much.

When your mom lives eight hours away you have to take matters into your own hands, so this afternoon I made chicken noodle soup from scratch. I think this might have been my down fall.

Not wanting to go off my diet again today (I switched from regular ginger ale to coke zero), I decided to make my own soup rather than eat the canned stuff. That way the noodles would be G.I.-approved and I could control the other ingredients as well. Except for obviously feeling pretty weak, I felt nearly back to normal this morning and afternoon - I was fine getting my blood drawn, I was fine at the store, and I was fine making the soup...at first. Then, this evening as I was cutting up the chicken, I started to feel sick again. So I finished everything and got back in bed. I really hope I don't throw up, but I don't think I will. It's definitely not that bad.

In other news, I'm betting that I will start a new cycle on Sunday, if anyone would like to take that bet. Sunday will be eleven days past my peak day and that seems to be the length of my luteal phases lately. And yesterday, amidst throwing up, I got the sensation I get in my legs each and every single month that means the end is near. The legs never lie. My body doesn't do too much on a regular basis, but that sign is the one thing I can count on. I haven't felt it yet today, but we'll see. I guess it is possible that it had something to do with me being sick, weak and dehydrated, but I always try to make excuses for what else the leg sensation could be, and it's always the same old thing.

That's fine if that's the case. I'm really okay with it and, surprisingly, I'm not embarrassed that I told you I was hopeful this month. It hurts every single month, whether I hope or not, so why not try to at least be somewhat positive? And I know it's not here yet, but it really feels like God is guarding my heart this cycle. Perhaps that has something to do with being hopeful? I'm not sure. Tonight I was reading bible verses on this topic, and I was reminded that we should have hope in HIM, not that our request will be granted. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to make our lives here on earth more comfortable, that we never think in terms of the bigger picture - that God has saved a place for us in eternity! That is where our true hope should lie.

Well, I'm going to turn off the computer and turn on the t.v., maybe even try to fall asleep. I will offer up my discomfort for all of you and all those who I have promised prayers to. I'm also going to try to focus on the blessings in my life. For now, I've got homemade chicken noodle soup on the stove, my husband's at his RCIA class and I'm relaxing in bed. Things could be a lot worse.

Update: I'm really happy with the way my chicken noodle soup with (whole wheat) dumplings came out, and I believe my husband's exact words were "this is the most incredible thing I've ever tasted!" It was really good and that's a good thing, because I think we have enough left over to feed us for the next four days!

I'm not feeling so hot right now, though, so I'm really going to try to sleep this time (after the last time I wrote that, I proceeded to make dumplings for the soup, eat, watch t.v., have a friend come over, etc., etc. No wonder I'm not feeling well right now!).

Questions

I'm supposed to get a peak +7 blood draw tomorrow (Wednesday) to test my progesterone. I'm still not feeling well, and I will have to drive myself. Does anyone know whether I'm supposed to fast for it? My doctor didn't say to. I mean, it's not like I'm going to eat a meal or anything, but I might need crackers or toast if I'm feeling a little better (tonight I felt better and my hunger was excruciating, but now I'm not feeling so hot). And best case scenario, I hope to be able to keep resting all day tomorrow and go have it done whenever I feel well enough. Anyone know if that is okay, or is it always better to have it done early?

I know I should call my doctor tomorrow, but I'm hoping some of you have answers for me tonight or early tomorrow so I don't have to.

Okay, I've gotta go because I feel like I'm getting sick again. I really hope not.

Oh, and I thought this story about Julianne Hough, from Dancing with the Stars, was interesting. She's having a laparoscopy to remove endometriosis next week and she says while her management was trying to make up a story of what to tell the press, she was like, no I'm going to be honest about it! It made me think about how you never hear celebrities talk about endo, so good for her!

Sick

I am sick today. I woke up at 6 a.m. (which is the middle of the night for us, we went to bed at 2 a.m.) and immediately thought that was odd. Within minutes I realized I was in trouble. I have the stomach bug and have thrown up a couple times. I'm actually pretty stable at the moment because otherwise I could not handle being on the computer.

Of course I'd love to think that this was another sign of early pregnancy. And I have to admit that when I woke up super early, the thought crossed my mind because I've read waking in the middle of the night can be a very early sign for some people. I know it's still very early for throwing up, though (I'm six days past ovulation, at the most eight if I ovulated a couple days before my last peak day), but I know some women do get sick from the get go.

There are more problems with this idea, though. A) I have a temperature - it has gone up and down throughout the day (despite not taking anything like advil at all) and most recently was at 100.9 (people don't get fevers with morning sickness I assume), and B) my husband was sick a week ago. He didn't throw up, but he felt like he was going to all day. That, to me, is the biggest argument against being pregnant.

My mom was worried my sugar was super low after getting sick, so my husband went out and bought me full sugar ginger ale. It did taste good, but it's got quite an aftertaste when you're not used to sugar! I just hope it helps me to feel better. Speaking of my mother, I could tell she wanted to say something about possibly being pregnant, but she was so cautious about it, which is such a nice way to handle an infertile daughter, I thought. Finally, after a few phone calls, she brought it up and was like "well, there's always the real far off very weird possibility that maybe you're pregnant..." I thought that was cute. And, of course, it made me feel good that she even thought it was possible, and she's a nurse. But she also said she really thinks Ryan being sick and the fact that I have a fever show that it is probably a virus.

So we missed our second homestudy appointment this morning. Thanks for all the advice, it's really going to help me when the time comes to answer those questions. I'm going to go relax now before I start to feel sick again. I can't believe I felt good enough to write all this!