I've spent the last couple days sewing. I think I've been to fabric stores for different odds and ends almost every day this week! It's a weakness.
I'll post a picture of my newest apron - which I made for myself - soon. I now have created two different designs and since they're originals, I've even named them! My style is called "Sophie," after my dog because it is fun and cute just like her, and the one I made for my mom I named "Maggie" because it is a little more mature, but still feminine - like her cockapoo, Maggie, who is definitely more refined than my crazy dog.
I also made two pillow cases for throw pillows for my couch.
Oh, and yesterday I did a little work towards the big home study home visit! I actually organized our linen closet. Some parts of my house seem like no self-respecting woman could possibly live in my home, and this closet was one of them. So now it's all better and will hopefully stay that way until the meeting. I also cleaned the kitchen, which of course will get dirty twenty times over before then, but I'm promising to keep up with it now (something I don't usually do, despite what it may seem like in pictures!).
It's also four days past ovulation, cycle day twenty, and things are looking good. My temp is still up and my bbs are actually a little tiny bit sore, something I haven't felt in months (I think this is good, right?).
************************
I'm also in the middle of a novena to the Infant of Prague. I decided in September, when I got my statue, to say novenas once a month for nine months. Each time I start it, I google "Infant of Prague Novena" and just choose a new one. This month, the one I chose (without really reading it ahead of time) is perfect! And coming off of this post earlier in the week, I really feel like I was meant to find it!
First of all, I love how novenas are full of confidence in God. They all seem to just overflow with faith and downright confidence that our request will be granted. It's not in a prideful way, or as if we are telling God what to do, but in an excited, childlike way, like, of course our Lord will do this! He is God!
The one I'm saying now literally says "I feel confident that my prayer will be granted." It also contains two really great lines from Scripture: "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened," and "All that you ask of the Father in My Name, He will grant you."
Just reading these words of confidence each night reinforces my new positive attitude. It reminds me that it's okay to come to the Lord and ask him for something, and believe he will grant it!
I've really been doing pretty well with faith lately. Since deciding to believe that God would answer my prayer for a pregnancy, I really have believed it. I know some weeks are better than others - and ovulation/beginning of the two-week-wait is probably the easiest time of the cycle for me - but I really think my peaceful feeling is due to God's grace and I'm so thankful he put this new outlook on my heart.
For those of us struggling with infertility, confidence doesn't exactly come easy. I don't know about you, but I was afraid to take the leap of faith to believe it can happen for me. I worry that if I believe, then the fall will be harder. Or, we have conditioned ourselves to think we somehow don't deserve to believe, like it is too innocent and silly and we've been around the block, so to speak, and know much better!
And when it comes to our particular struggle, it's pretty hard to believe our prayer will be granted this month when it hasn't been thirty, forty or fifty times before. We already know from personal experience that God doesn't always answer our prayers, which makes it all the more difficult to believe those lines from Scripture.
Of course we are all good at asking God for a pregnancy, in spite of all these reasons to not believe. I know I ask for it several times a day, for myself and for all of you. So why bother asking if we don't believe he might give it to us? I think if we are asking him for it, then deep down we do believe he can give it to us. Now we just need to take the leap to admit that to ourselves, and risk getting hurt. He won't let us get hurt, though; not if we place our trust in him.
I'll leave you with the novena I've been talking about. If you do not yet have confidence, maybe ask Jesus to have some for you. I'm sure he already does!
INFANT OF PRAGUE NOVENA PRAYER
O Jesus, Who has said, "Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened," through the intercession of Mary, Your Most Holy Mother, I knock, I seek, I ask that my prayer be granted.
(Make your request)
O Jesus, Who has said, "All that you ask of the Father in My Name, He will grant you," through the intercession of Mary Your Most Holy Mother, I humbly and urgently ask your Father in your name that my prayer will be granted.
(Make your request)
O Jesus, Who has said, "Heaven and earth shall pass away but My word shall not pass away," through the intercession of Mary Your Most Holy Mother, I feel confident that my prayer will be granted.
(Make your request)
PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING
Divine Infant Jesus, I know You love me and would never leave me. I thank You for Your close Presence in my life.
Miraculous Infant, I believe in Your promise of peace, blessings, and freedom from want. I place every need and care in Your hands.
Lord Jesus, may I always trust in Your generous mercy and love. I want to honor and praise You, now and forever. Amen.
