A brush with bullying

I've learned lately that there can be some benefits to bullying. Okay, it might be a little much to call what happened to poor Lukie bullying. I'm one who tends to think that word is overused nowadays. But then my kid gets picked on and I'm all about whipping out the B word.

Our kids spend an hour-and-a-half each weekday at the gym daycare while we work out. The older two take part in a kidzercise class and absolutely love it. It's really great. The staff is awesome, it's a really nice facility, and they even get to exercise while they're there. They also get to meet and play with other children. And even though we're just newbie preschool homeschoolers at the moment, it's still nice to be able to say they get that much-sought after "socialization" that everyone worries so much about.

Every day on the ride home we ask the kids what they did in Kidszone that day. They'll sometimes give us quick one-word answers, usually too tired out to say much. Then, a couple weeks ago, Luke became more talkative. He was eating lunch upon returning home from the gym when he, without even having been asked about it, told Ryan, "my boys at the gym called me diaper-butt today."

Broke my heart in two. Or maybe like a billion trillion.
 

My boys. Oh my goodness. These were not just "some boys" or "the mean kids" or "big kids." No, they were his boys.

At first we thought he didn't get it. He told Ryan that he was mad because he actually wanted them to call him "Jake" (from this show). Oh, the innocence. And we thought maybe his use of the phrase "my boys" showed he wasn't mad at them and didn't realize they were antagonizing. It still broke my heart. Maybe even more so because I thought he was being mocked by kids he thought were his buddies and he had absolutely no idea.

I hated to draw attention to it and risk making him feel bad but also couldn't resist asking about it the next day. Did it happen again? According to Clara, it had. And she told the boys not to say it. Clara, just a year older, got it. I asked if the ladies at Kidszone knew about it and they said no. I toyed with mentioning it to the staff the next morning, but it's not in my personality to make a big deal out of something so I stayed quiet.

There wasn't any more talk about it for a few days. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Luke potty-trained himself. Like overnight.

Coincidence?

The same kid who has resisted potty-training at every turn, whose constantly-poopy diapers I feared I would still be changing years from now, just started telling me the pee was coming and running to the (big) potty, whipping his diaper and shorts off, hopping on himself and going. And sometimes he wouldn't even tell me. I'd just hear the noises of the toilet seat and realize what was up.

He's been a dream to potty train. It hasn't been without accidents, but he's also ridden in a car 25 minutes two ways without wetting his pants. I'm a big advocate of not forcing your child and waiting until they are ready - for your own sake. I bang my head against the wall when they aren't willing. So incredibly frustrating. But to have them do it themselves? That's my kind of mothering.

Of course, it helps that he wants to be like his big sister and knows exactly what to do from watching her (she's also played the role of coach in recent days). But I can't help but think that being called "diaper-butt" may have had something to do with this minor miracle. I mean, really. He's sharp as a tack. How could he not have known? And the same child who never has a peep to share about the gym just came out with this story of being picked on over lunch. It had to be weighing on him. Poor thing.

Is it bad to change yourself to avoid bullying? Maybe if it's something that doesn't need to be changed. But in this case saying goodbye to diapers was inevitable and a good thing and maybe Luke used it as motivation. He turned a negative into a positive.

Still breaks my heart though. My sweet little diaper-butt.

Speaking of Lukie growing up, I've stopped nursing him. It's been a couple months now. I let him self-wean and he happened to be just past 2-and-a-half-years when that time came.

I absolutely loved nursing. Loved it. And from the day I began (maybe even during pregnancy) I feared the day I'd stop nursing him because I knew it would likely be my one and only nursing experience. As it turned out, I did get to nurse another baby (to some degree) which was an unexpected blessing. But Luke nursed a few months longer than Essie did, so he turned on the lights and closed up shop. I officially have no milk left.

And you know what? It's really been okay. Of course, I would love to nurse more babies. I'd give anything to be one of those moms who nurses for years and years without a break. What a blessing that would be (I know it's not for everybody but it would be for me). But it's okay. I got to do it. I loved the experience. And, more than anything, our God is full of surprises. Just because I think the odds are leaning one way, doesn't mean it will turn out like that. Or, it may. We just don't know.

And, anyway, I'm too busy with my three rambunctious kids to spend much time being sad about no longer breastfeeding any of them.

So my Lukie is all grown up. Waaaaahhhh! Thankfully he's not ALL about being a big boy just yet. He likes to tell us he's too little to do things all the time, when it works to his advantage. Oh, and he still fights sleep at night and ends up in our bed. Ryan hates it but I (not-so) secretly love it. Luke and I have an agreement. He's not through being my baby boy just yet.

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Can I give a shameless plug for my husband's facebook fan page? They're really pushing at his TV station for the reporters and anchors to get more "likes" for their pages and I just couldn't say "no" to him today when he asked me to share it on my blog. So go "like" it if you haven't already. Pretty please??? Because you know you all want the latest news from Central VA.