A plateau

Failure to thrive.

Not exactly the label a mother wants placed on her little baby. And yet, that's what happened this morning at Luke's 9-month check-up. It was written on his chart, as his diagnosis on our payment form, and on his lab slip.

Does this look like a baby who is failing to thrive?

I was actually looking forward to this appointment, excited that he was doing so much better than the first few check-ups that he had, back when he never slept and seemed to have an allergy to dairy. He's been doing amazingly well, the picture of health. He's crawling, pulling up, saying "dada," even waving and saying "hi" when the mood hits him.

I knew he hadn't been gaining weight. At three appointments back in the Spring he had plateaued, and on our home scale he hadn't gained anything since then. But just recently I had decided that it just had to be broken. I weighed him in my arms on our adult scale, and then weighed myself alone, and his weight seemed higher. I relaxed.

Then this morning I placed him on the baby scale at the pediatrician's office and there it was - 16 lbs., 8 ounces. He'd gained nothing since May. I was still calm, not too concerned as we walked back to the exam room. Then, when a few minutes later the nurse called to me again - wanting to weigh Luke a second time because something wasn't right, maybe the scale was off-balance - I got nervous. Great, I thought, knowing full well it wasn't the scale.

The doctor, who was within earshot for the two weigh-ins, eventually examined him and was delighted by his progress. Advanced developmentally, she said. He was perfect, doing everything that she looks for, like trying to get her attention, making noises, bouncing on his strong legs.

Then she asked if I had any concerns, like she always does. Well, there's the weight thing...

She had forgotten about that, hadn't checked his charts yet. Then she saw it - 16,8 three out of the last four times, with one 16,11 thrown in there. The dots on the graph rose steadily the first six months and then flatlined for the most recent three. She was concerned. I was becoming increasingly nervous.

He would need blood drawn, she said. A couple nurses examined his tiny arms only to determine they didn't feel comfortable doing it and we would have to go to a lab.

The doctor mentioned some possible things it could be. Immature kidneys, for one, which she says would not be a big problem. He would grow out of it and we would just have to watch it for a couple years, and I think she mentioned a medication but I can't remember exactly. She also mentioned food allergies, and Celiac Disease. They would test for it all.

She said it's not my supply because he's not fussy. He tells me when he wants to nurse, and I feel as if I'm nursing him a lot. He seems satisfied when he's done. I told her about how I avoided one side for a while one day because he had bit me there and how it became engorged. She agreed that that was evidence my supply is just fine.

I also asked about feeding him more solids, maybe something high-calorie, and she said that nursing is most important right now. He will gain more from that than from anything else.

It could be - and here's what we're hoping, of course - that it's just his gaining pattern. He gains a lot, then plateaus, then gains, then plateaus. We're also hoping it could be because at the very same time he stopped gaining, he started sleeping through the night, moving all around, and eating solids. He was literally attached to me before he moved to his crib, nursing constantly. Maybe his previous weight gain was inflated.

She also said - and this, hopefully, is important - that because the first part of his exam she looked at him without yet knowing about the weight issue and thought he was the picture of health, that she doesn't think it's anything very serious. He isn't showing any symptoms of a bigger problem. He's not sick, he's not fussy, he's sleeping great, he's developmentally ahead, he's moving all around, he's happy, he's talkative... So hopefully all those things add up to this just being a fluke. That he's just not a big gainer.

I left nervous and on edge. I called Ryan and told him that he and Clara would be accompanying us to the lab for Luke's blood draw. I needed the support of another adult.

My niece had some similar issues when she was around the same age as Luke, so I called my sister. She said her daughter would plateau for a few months, then gain right before her next check-up, so the doctor never had cause for concern. Okay, I thought, my niece is fine so hopefully a growth spurt is right around the corner for Luke.

I then called my mom on the way and told her everything. She, a nurse, couldn't think of anything else more serious that it could be and really thinks that he is fine. She said she had come across a prayer card for St. Rita right when I called, so she was going to ask for her intercession.

Sweet Clara was trying to hold Luke's hand

On a side note, when we arrived at the lab (which specialized in pediatrics), Luke started hiccuping in the waiting room. I kid you not, three separate people we encountered took one look at him and said, "He's got the hiccups, you know what that means? He's growing!" Apparently I'm the only one who has never heard that Old Wives Tale. When the reception said it first, I replied, "Good, because that's why we're here!" Then when we returned to our seat, a woman sitting near us said the same thing. Finally, the woman drawing his blood said it as well. Maybe just a coincidence, but I'd like to think it was a sign. Not that his hiccups were actually making him grow, of course, but that he's going to grow. Maybe that was already St. Rita's intercession letting us know he's going to be okay.

It's a good thing I had that little ray of hope, because the blood draw experience was worse than I could have imagined.

Without recounting every gory details, I'll just say that they tried his right arm, then his left arm, then his right arm again, before pricking his finger and squeezing out tiny amounts over about ten minutes. The second arm was the worst - the nurse, who was visibly stressed and sweating, fished around in there for a vein for what seemed like forever while he screamed in my arms. And this was the lab that specialized in babies.

They drew enough blood for some of the tests, but not all. They're going to ask our pediatrician's office which tests are a priority. I'm hoping we don't have to go back.

Notice his little band-aid from his blood draw

So my poor little baby had a rough day, but did surprisingly well. He still charmed everyone he came in contact with, and really only cried that one time. He's a trooper.

We won't find out the results until probably next Wednesday, and I'm hoping I can maintain my anxiety level until then.

If you get a chance, please say a prayer for Lukie, that he's okay, that this is all making a big deal out of nothing, that he gains weight. That he starts to thrive. I know your prayers are so powerful and I can't thank you enough.

And I'd love to hear if any of you have slow-gaining babies. But, please don't share with me anything that will raise my anxiety. I've had about all I can handle for one day.