This is what we did this afternoon...
Clara's first time eating baby food was a success!
A year ago, on St. Gianna's feast day, we were praying she would come into our lives, not even knowing who 'she' was. And this year I was feeding her pears. God is so good.
Clara and GIMH's baby E got a chance to hang out last night and, of course, hilarity and cuteness ensued. What is it about babies interacting? I just can't get enough of it!
While E has been very aware for a while now (he's about five weeks older than she is), it was really the first time Clara had seen him since she has been aware of her surroundings. I couldn't wait to see if she noticed him or was at all interested. Well, she definitely noticed him, and I'm not sure she knew what to make of him!
Here's a video of Clara laying on E's lap (sitting next to each other never works well). Listen for him talking to her and wait until you see him making his move! He's just the cutest! Oh, and feel free to make up your own dialogue...
Have no fear for what tomorrow may bring. The same loving God who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. God will either shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. -St. Francis de Sales
As soon as I read this on a prayer card today, I knew that many of us could benefit from it. God will either shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it. This is what it all boils down to when you're scared and suffering. This is what trusting in Jesus is all about.
I also thought of all of you at Mass yesterday when we sang a song I love, The Summons. I first heard it when I was part of an adult education program in the diocese where we used to live. It was always sung when we gathered for Mass since it was so obviously about answering a call to follow Christ, as the people in my program were doing. But on Sunday, it struck me that that's exactly what Catholic infertile couples are doing as well (not that non-Catholics aren't, but I'm focusing on Catholics here, since so many Catholics don't follow the Church teachings on assisted reproductive technologies).
This is how I see it: God called all of us at one point in our life; for many, it was soon after we were married and first realized there was a problem. He asked us to follow Him, and we may or may not have realized at that point exactly what that meant. What it meant, we'd soon learn, was that He was asking us to put our love for Him above our desire for children. That often meant, for many of us, that we'd feel like outsiders in a world of beautiful families and babies. We'd feel that, ironically, we weren't allowed to be part of God's own creation - the miracle of bringing new life into the world. We might not even be able to talk openly about our beliefs for fear that others would think we were judgmental. We feared they would think we were a little crazy, extreme, or that we "must not want children that much." We'd have to pursue alternative treatments, but that wouldn't be easy either; we'd have to pay more, travel far, undergo painful surgeries and treatments. We'd feel unloved, cast aside, forgotten, even among Christians. Even in our own Church. We'd suffer terrible heartache and at times wonder if we were abandoned by the very God who called us in the first place.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
I know infertile couples aren't being physically attacked, as many who stand in faith are, but I still think this beatitude still applies in a way. I'm not sure I can explain why. Maybe it's because infertile couples who follow the Church's teachings are persecuted by the devil, or by society. Maybe it's just the silence that feels like persecution.
I just feel strongly that we need to focus more on how God has called so many of us to be witnesses for Him. When we, understandably, get caught up in the day-to-day suffering of the journey, it's easy to lose sight of the beauty of His teachings and the weight of what it means to follow them.
It's hard to post about this without sounding prideful. I don't want to come off like I think I'm good for following the Church's teachings; of course, it's only by the grace of God that I have been able to. I am weak and nothing without God, and how grateful am I that I somehow was taught about these teachings and was able to see their beauty. I thank God for that grace! It's just that I believe it's helpful to remember that infertile couples who respect the Church's teachings are actively doing the Lord's work each and every day. This isn't random. This isn't all in vain. This is a calling, a summons. He picked you specifically for this difficult task and you have said 'yes.' The Lord must be very pleased. It's not easy to pick up your cross and follow Him. Even though it's born out of love, the journey isn't pretty. As we all know, it can be downright ugly most of the time. Yet you have remained faithful (and I don't care how much you complain! You still embrace the Church's teachings).
Here are the lyrics that remind me of you all. You constantly amaze me. Your strength and faith is inspiring, and even though the world may not recognize the beauty of it, I sure do.
1. Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?
2. Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?
3. Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?
4. Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?
5. Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.
I hope this was coherent enough. I'm tired and preparing for a long road trip home with Clara tomorrow. I'll have a lot of time on my hands, so I'll be praying for all of you!
I am such a bad prayer buddy. And bad blogger in general, since I haven't posted in quite a while. I at least have an excuse for last week - we were on vacation, with my family, at the beach.
We had a wonderful time and Clara loved spending time with her grandparents. Or, I should say, her grandparents loved spending time with her. Because, let's be honest, she would go to strangers right now. I am sure one day she will love us all wholeheartedly, but right now she is so happy she doesn't care who is feeding her or changing her diaper.
I'm just kidding. She reacts to both my mom and dad and I can tell she loves being around them both. She especially has a thing for my dad; she giggles and laughs whenever she is in his presence. It's really adorable.
Anyways, before I do the big reveal, here are some Easter pics, including the obligatory "balcony shots":
I'm not normally a big fan of baby head-bands, but I put it on her that day just for fun, although I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon. It left such deep indentation in her poor little scalp that my mother dubbed it her "crown of thorns"!
Okay, back to my prayer buddy. First, I'd like to apologize to her for taking a week to reveal this. I could possibly be the only blogger left, so she might have already figured it out by process of elimination. So without further ado..... it's Brit from Picking Up Our Cross!
I hadn't come across her blog before becoming her prayer buddy, so I was blessed to find it and get to catch up on her old posts. She is such a kind, sweet - and humorous - woman of faith. I prayed for her daily, offering up a nightly Rosary for her (always for her AND Clara, so she was in good company), praying throughout the day whenever I remembered, and at the consecration during Mass.
I have to admit, though, that I was lazy the first part of Lent and felt bad for Brit, that she got a slacker prayer buddy. And then, on the very day that I was feeling particularly guilty about my prayer efforts, I logged on her to blog and read her post from that day, in which she actually wrote "Speaking of lent, my prayer buddy, whoever she may be, is doing a fabulous job." Ha! God sure works in mysterious ways. I felt like it was God's way of showing me He is bigger than my inadequacies. It truly energized me to pray with new vigor for the remainder of Lent (and, on a side note, that particular post of hers was all about, of all things, adoption and how she and her husband had a new perspective and were going to trust in God throughout the process. It was so wonderful to read and I was so happy for them!).
So Brit, I will now be adding you to my side bar and commenting more on your blog, since before I was afraid it would let the cat out of the bag. And, of course, you will continue to be in my prayers.
By the way, has anyone else noticed that a lot of graces and blessings seem to come out of our little prayer buddy circle? I really think this thing is powerful! We definitely need to think about having prayer buddies of Ordinary Time...
